personal best || harry styles au

four

It was a cold, drizzly first of December as Harry made his way down the highstreet towards the bookshop. The weather had been alluding to a grey forecast earlier in the morning but Harry thought he'd chance it and walk into town rather than book a taxi, or even ask Carmel for a lift. He definitely regretted his choice. He hadn't packed anything suitable for the wet weather and all the things that may have been okay to wear had already been worn.
A comforting warmth washed over Harry as he pushed open the doors to the bookshop. The door hadn't even closed properly behind him and, already, Edie was bounding over with a book tucked under her arm and her hair pulled back into two uneven bunches.
"Harry! Happy December the first." Edie's mouth stretched into a wide smile, "What kind of chocolate did you get in your advent calendar this morning? Mine was a reindeer!"
Harry widened his eyes, "Oh, wow! That's really cool. Was it tasty?" Edie nodded. "I don't have an advent calendar this year, Edes. No chocolate for me."
"Whaaaat? No calendar?" Edie turned her head just in time to clock Maddie, who was balancing a cup of tea on top of a laptop and three books. "Mummy, Harry doesn't have an advent calendar."
"That's okay, not everybody does have them, sweetheart." Maddie set her tea down, glancing up to give Harry a quick smile, "Morning, Harry. Get caught in the rain?"
"Uh, yeah- yeah, fancied me chances."
Edie grabbed a few pens from the front desk and quickly hurried out of sight.
This was the first time Harry and Maddie had been alone together since she dropped him off the other night. They'd both been trying to avoid situations that meant it would just be the two of them.
"So, 'm gonna head back to London in a bit. I've run out of clothes and- and just got some stuff to do."
"Oh- oh, yeah, yeah, of course." Maddie tried to hide her disappointment. She knew Harry would eventually have to leave, she just didn't count on feeling so affected by it. "Are you- d'ya think you'll make it back for Edie's birthday? I know she'd love it if you came."
"'m gonna try, Mad." A surge of excitement washed over Harry, "I've already ordered her present, should arrive in time. Paid extra for quick delivery but y'know- s'not always reliable."
"You didn't have to get her anything, Harry."
"Don't be silly, wouldn't have felt right if I didn't." An awkward silence fell between the two, "Well, look- 'm gonna get going. Car will be picking me up soon."
"Edie," Maddie turned away from Harry, "Edes, come say goodbye to Harry, he's going home."
A set of small footsteps raced into the room.
"I made you this, Harry." Edie thrusted a large bit of card into Harry's hands, "It's your own advent calendar. There's no chocolate. And- and the windows don't open but you can use it more like a countdown. Maybe cross off the days?"
"I love it, Ede. Best advent calendar I've ever had. Thank you."
Harry bent down, lifting up one his arms as a way of inviting her in for a hug. He didn't want to impose on her personal space. He wasn't sure if she would feel comfortable if he hugged her without her say-so, so he thought this way, Edie would have a choice. Much to Harry's relief, Edie welcomed his hug with a big smile and a tight squeeze. He noticed that she smelt like a perfect mixture of strawberry yoghurt and fresh apples, it had quickly become one of his favourite smells.
"But I'll see you soon?" Edie took a step back, "You'll be back soon?"
"Soon as I can, Edes. Promise." Harry stood up, "Right, okay. I'm going. See ya later, Mad." His eyes lingered on Maddie's face for a moment. It lingered on the curve of her soft lips, the faint freckles across her nose and the slight glimmer of gold flecks in her eyes. "I've, uh- 've got your number so I'll text you. Swear it."
"See you later, Harry."
It took every ounce of self-control for Harry to walk out of the shop, to not give everything up and run back in to declare he never wants to leave Maddie or Edie again. If this moment featured in a movie, that's how it would happen. But it's not. Had this moment in time also featured in a movie, there's no way Harry would've just stepped full-force into a 2-foot deep puddle.
***
The drive back to London was a lonely one and the arrival of Harry back at his home was even lonelier. He pushed open the front door, half-hoping he'd be met with the smell of strawberries and apples and the feel of little arms wrapped around his hips. Instead, the aroma of roses and musky perfume lingered in the air and when Harry spotted a pair of Manolos at the bottom of the stairs, he knew he was no longer alone. He walked hesitantly up the steps with narrowed eyes to try and spot any more clues as to who had infiltrated his private space. As he crept down the hallway, he could hear the sound of quietly playing smooth jazz coming from his bedroom. Harry knew who was behind the door. He closed his eyes, breathed in and let out a deep sigh before pushing down the handle to his room.
"Tammy, what're ya doing here?" Harry's eyes flicked across the scene in front of him. Tammy was laid, outstretched, on his bed wearing a lacy red chemise which covered up a matching set of equally red and lacy lingerie. "How did you even get in?"
"The maid-"
"-Helen-"
"-okay. Helen let me in." Tammy sat up, "I messaged Ru to see if you were okay - because you obviously don't know how to reply to me - and he said you were coming home today. He wouldn't tell me where you'd been, though. Thought that was weird."
"Why did you tell the press that we're official?"
"Well, aren't we?"
"No. Absolutely not."
Tammy leant forward, pushing her arms together to accentuate her cleavage, "Are you sure?" She reached out to grab hold of Harry's hand, "Because I don't dress like this for just anyone."
Harry turned to his wardrobe, pulling out a clean t-shirt and passing it back to Tammy, "I appreciate it, Tam, but no, thank you. You can put that on, if it'll make you feel more comfortable."
"I'd feel more comfortable knowing what the fuck is up with you, Harry. Why are you acting like the thought of me dressed like this wasn't getting your dick hard a couple of weeks ago? Huh?"
"You're missing the point, Tam. We're not a couple. Y'can't keep telling people we are, 's a lie."
"Fuck you. You're a selfish, spineless piece of shit. You know that? I'm done chasing after you like a lovesick puppy, I could have anyone I fucking wanted." Tammy got up, throwing on the t-shirt Harry had given her, "I deserve to be fucking appreciated."
"Yeah, you-"
"-don't give me fucking pity." She grabbed her bag from the side-table, "Fuck you."
And with that, mixed with the slam of several doors, Harry was, once-again, all alone.
***
Harry was halfway through eating his lunch when he decided to call Lizzie, his publicist. He knew he'd need to tell her what was going on eventually, he just didn't think she would've said she could be over in ten minutes. Harry quickly wolfed down the rest of his pasta, tidied away the dishes he'd used and got out a few of the notes he wanted to say about the situation.
Bzzz, bzzz. Bzzz, bzzz.
RU
Edie keeps asking after you. You've made quite the impression!
Harry felt his heart swell as he read, and then re-read, Ru's message. He was just about to tap out a reply when he heard the doorbell go. He hurried over to the door, taking a deep breath before pulling it open. "Hey, Liz. Thanks for coming over so soon."
"No worries, I was in the area." Lizzie stepped inside, putting down her bag, "Elton was having a crisis."
"Oh no, hope-"
"-yeah, it's all sorted." She sniffed the air, "Fettuccine Alfredo? What's up?"
"Wh- what are ya talkin' about?"
"Every time you present me with an issue, you've eaten that meal." She held up one finger, "That time you tackled a paparazzi." Another finger. "When you accidentally swore on live television." Another finger. "When you and Tammy got caught doing the naughty backstage at the Brits. What did all those things have in common? Fettuccine bloody Alfredo." Lizzie threw her hair back into a bun, "What is this time?"
"I have a child."
A loud laugh filled the room as Lizzie slapped her hand down onto the kitchen counter, "Don't even play, Harry." She wiped a tear away from her eye, "That would be the last thing I need today, okay?" Lizzie looked over at Harry's sheepish expression. "Harry, come on. It's not funny anymore."
"Liz, I have a child."
"That fucking Fettuccine Alfredo. I knew it!" The volume of Lizzie's voice had dramatically risen, "How long have you known? Do you know the mother? Is it yours? Have you done a DNA test? Fuck, Harry."
"'m sorry."
"Please tell me you've done a DNA test." Lizzie's eyes were wide, "And, for the love of God, tell me you've not given the mother any money." Harry's silence sent Lizzie's heart rate sky-high, "Shit, shit, shit. How much did you give her?"
"I- I did a calculator online-"
"-how much, Harry? I need figures."
"£100,000."
She staggered backwards, "Are you fucking joking me? One hundred- you don't even know it's yours."
"She looks just like me, Liz. She's got my hair."
"A quarter of the fucking kids in my son's class have got your hair, Harry. Doesn't make them yours." Lizzie fell back onto the sofa, "Okay, fuck. Let's process this. Right, first things first, we need to order a DNA test."
"No, 'm not- 'm not doing that, Liz. Edie's mine, I know she is."
"Christ, I- fine, no DNA test. You've already given the mother £100,000, so if we just double that in return for her silence, this will just disappear."
"No- no, Liz, I don't- I want to be involved."
"Come again?"
"I want to be involved, I wanna be a dad." Harry slipped the folded piece of paper out of his pocket, "I've- 've made some notes." His fingers trembled as he looked over the words he'd quickly scribbled, "I want to set up a savings account for Edie and I want 10% of whatever I earn on anything to go into it. I- uh- I want to buy two houses in Hastings: one- one for me and uh- one for Maddie and Edie. I want to schedule any upcoming tours around the school holidays so Edie can come, if she wants. I, uh-"
"-Harry, sweetheart. These are big decisions you're proposing."
"It's my child, Liz."
"I know, okay. I'm sure she's great, just like you. However, we need to be realistic. How long have you known about Edie?"
"About a week."
"And does she know? That you're her dad?"
"No- no, we haven't told her yet."
Lizzie shuffled to the edge of the sofa, "Right, I think we just need to take this one step at a time, okay? If the press gets hold of this before we have a chance to put it out there, it won't be good. For anyone. Let me think of a few ways we can announce it and I'll get back to you."
"Okay. I'll- uh- I'll have a think too."
"Sounds good to me." Lizzie picked up her bag and pulled open the door, "And, Harry, please no more Fettuccine Alfredo."
***
Harry had been staring at Maddie's name in his contacts for far too long. It just didn't feel real. How was it possible that the number he'd spent five years yearning after was now just in front of him? He pressed the call button and held the phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Hey. Mad- Maddie, hey. 's Harry."
"Oh, hey. God, it feels weird talking to you on the phone. What's up?"
"Just spoken to Lizzie, me publicist, an' she's gonna come up with a few ideas of how to tell people about Edie. Then I'll talk to you about 'em and we can decide which one, if any, is best. Is that okay?"
"Sorry, Josh- give me a sec. Yeah, okay. That sounds okay. Daunting but-"
"-if you're busy, I can call you later."
"No, it's fine. Josh said he'd bake Edie's birthday cake so he's just finding out what she'd like."
"Oh." Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, "That's kind of him."
"She keeps asking for you, y'know? Edie. She misses you."
Harry felt the grasp of the green-eyed monster lessen, "Ditto. Feels different though. 've missed people before but this- this isn't the same."
"Come back soon, okay?"
"Okay."
Harry clicked off the call, pressed the phone to his lips and fell back into the sofa. He didn't want to be here, at home, he wanted to be with Maddie. With Edie. He wanted to be the person that Edie described her dream birthday cake to.
HARRY
Please can you clear my week? Got some personal stuff going on.