personal best || harry styles au

three

"Rise and shine, sleepy head."
Harry's eyes were suddenly subjected to a bright pool of light as he heard the curtains open. The sound of  a tray clinking down onto a table forced his eyes open. Carmel pulled a tea cosy from underneath her arm and stuck it over a steaming teapot.
"Um," Harry cleared his throat, "'m not sure this is what's meant by 'Bed and Breakfast'."
"Aye, you're lucky you're even getting anything for breakfast." Carmel picked up a card from the coffee table, "You didn't fill in your breakfast form, ya cheeky bet. Now, I've had t'guess and, to me, you look like an egg on toast lad." She picked up the plate and a set of cutlery off the tray, "So, how did last night go?"
"'m not sure, really." Harry picked a corner off one of the slices of toast, "Okay? Maybe."
"Did Dave and Hannah like you?"
"I don't know, maybe?"
"Edie?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"And we already know you and Ru get on so that just leaves Maddie." Harry's stomach flipped at the mention of her name. "How did it go between you two?"
"Uh, it was- uh- interesting?"
Bzzz, bzzz. Bzzz, bzzz.
RU
Taking Edie to the duck pond, if you fancy meeting us there?

HARRY
I can be ready in 10?

RU
Sounds good! Ask C for directions.
Carmel let out an expletive as Harry jumped out of bed, threw on a clean t-shirt and stumbled around whilst trying to find his jeans. He gave his hair a quick brush, squeezed some toothpaste onto his brush and shoved it into his mouth.
"What are you getting all dressed up for?"
"Meeding Ru and Beadie at the fuck dond."
"I beg ya pardon?"
Harry spat out the minty foam into the sink, "Sorry. 'm meeting Ru and Edie at the duck pond." He brushed his hair back with his hand as he grabbed a jacket off the back of the chair. "Um, quick question: where is the duck pond?"
***
The late-November sun was shining down onto the duck pond as Edie bent down to sprinkle a seed mixture onto the water; there were several groups of ducks paddling over to the circle of food that was slowly sinking under the water. Harry watched as Edie turned back to Ru to share her excitement over the growing flock of ducks she had collated.
"Harry!" Edie's mouth formed into a big smile, "Uncle Ru, Harry's here!"
"Hey, mate." Ru held up his hand, "Found it alright, then?"
"Yeah, thanks."
"Harry, Mummy said we need to stay away from the swans because they are nasty."
"I mean, your mum's got a fair point there- Ede- uh, Edie."
"Why are swans nasty?"
"Uh- 'm not entirely sure." Harry looked up at Ru - who was silently cooing at the exchange. "Maybe they don't like people?"
Edie looked up at Harry, "Maybe they've not had their breakfast? Nanny sometimes gets cross if she hasn't had her breakfast."
Ru audibly gasped, "Hey, Edie, don't be snaking your Grandma out like that. I'll be feeding you to the swans if you carry on, ya little rat-bag."
Edie laughed, gave Ru a small shove and went back to sprinkling some duck food onto the water's surface. Harry could see much more of himself in Edie today than he did yesterday; the chestnut curls that peeked out from under her hat matched his and the dance moves she kept pulling out as she sung along to random tunes made her seem like his double.
"My hat!" Edie's woolly hat was bobbing on the surface of the pond, "Will it sink?"
"No, it'll be fine." Ru bent down beside the water, stretching his arm out, "It'll just need a wash!" Harry gave Edie a reassuring smile as they both watched Ru's fingers tried to lock down onto one of the tassles, "I can't- I can't reach it." He retracted his arm, "My arms aren't long enough."
"Let me try." Harry swapped places with Ru. As he grabbed hold of the hat, he turned back to give Edie a thumbs up with his free hand and, at the same time, he felt a sharp pain dig into his hand, "Ouch, mother fu-"
"-it's one of the evil swans, Harry!"
The swan had clamped its beak down onto Harry's hand but, luckily, he managed to shake it off and shuffle away from the pond's edge. Edie picked up her bag of duck food and hurried away from the water whilst Ru was bent over in hysterics and Harry clutched his throbbing hand.
***
Harry's showdown with the evil swan was all Edie could talk about on the way back to the bookshop, she'd already promised to write him a 'get well soon' card for his hand, as well as a homemade 'swan-safe' plaster. As Harry pushed open the door to the shop, he could see Maddie stood behind the till, smiling and laughing at someone she was serving; Harry couldn't hear what the customer was saying but he could see that Maddie's cheeks were slightly flushed and she looked a little bashful.
"Hi, Mum." Edie walked up to the counter, "Hi, Josh."
"Hey, little Swede."
Harry's eyebrows knitted together.
"Hey, man." Ru pulled Josh into a quick hug, "Loving the facial hair."
Maddie's face lit up as she pulled Edie into a big hug, "Hi, lovely girl. I missed you so much." She glanced between Harry and Ru, "Was she alright? Did anything happen?"
"No, nothing-"
"-Harry got bit by a swan!"
"It's not a big deal." Harry watched as Josh stifled a laugh whilst Maddie's face read concern, "The important thing is Edie's hat is safe - although, it does need a wash." Harry held out his not-bitten-by-a-swan-hand, "Sorry, man. I'm Harry, s'nice to meet you."
"Hey, I'm Josh." They shook hands, "Sorry to hear about your hand."
"Yeah, no worries."
"Right, I need to get back to work. Swede, catch ya later." Josh gave Edie a high-five, "Harry, nice to meet you. Ru and Maddie, maybe see you at the quiz later?"
"Maybe."
Harry watched as the bashful smile crept back onto Maddie's face and, this time, it lingered until Josh had disappeared from view. Once he had, Maddie turned her attention on Edie and told her there were some freshly baked cookies from Josh out the back; Edie disappeared very quickly.
"He seems nice."
"Who? Josh?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, he is nice. He's one of Ru's best friends."
"Hey," Ru slowly stepped out of the room, "I'm staying out of this."
"So, you're seeing him later?"
"What is this about?" Maddie put down the book she was pricing up, "He invited me to the quiz, Harry. God, I don't- I don't even know why I'm telling you. It's none of your business."
"Are you going to go?"
"Again, none of your business."
"Well, if this guy could end up being a potential step-father to Edie-"
"-step-father? Are you serious? We've not even been on a date yet."
"Yet."
"Are you hearing yourself? Christ, you don't get to go on one day trip with your daughter and suddenly think it gives you the right to comment on every aspect of her life."
"Maddie, I-"
"-who's Tammy?"
The crease between Harry's brows deepened, "She's not- nothing. She's nothing."
"Oh, she's 'nothing', is she? Because according to Google, she's your girlfriend."
"She's not my girlfriend, we're just- just friends who- who sort of sleep together, sometimes."
"So, you're 'fuck buddies'?"
"Don't say it like that."
"Like what? The truth?" Maddie let out a long breath, "God, I was going to just- last night- we were- just forget it. You know, you can do whatever, or whoever, the hell you like, okay? The thing you can't do is waltz back in here - after five years - and start judging me on my life choices whilst deciding you want to be involved in your daughter's life."
"Why can't I?"
"Because you can't. Because you're you. How is it going to work? What, you're just going to send out a tweet that you have a daughter now and everybody's cool with it? What if they find out where she lives? What school she goes to? What if they think I'm a liar? I mean, you've got no proof that she's yours, you're just taking my word for it."
"Maddie, I know she's mine. I knew as soon as I saw her and look, as for the rest of that stuff, 'm sorry, okay? I just- just forget it, okay? Think it's the swan bite."
***
"I will give you £10 if you put the team name down as 'Quiz on my Face'."
"Really?" Ru looked up at Josh with a raised eyebrow. Josh nodded at him whilst downing the last few dregs of his pint, "Deal." He wrote down the team name, "But, just so you know, I'd have done it for free."
"I heard that's not the only thing you're giving away for free, Ru." Jenny plonked herself down on one of the empty stools. "I heard from Chip-Shop Michael that he saw you leaving the abode of Jacqueline Jenkins earlier this afternoon. Didn't realise that romance had rekindled?"
"That little bastard, I knew he saw me."
"Have you guys heard about Ru and Jacqui?" Maddie sat down at the table and had a quick sip of her Diet Coke before setting it down on a worn-out coaster, "The whole pub's talking about it." Jenny and Josh burst out laughing whilst Ru threw the pen onto the table and crossed his arms in a sulk. "Oh, Ru, we're only teasing. I'm so glad you're back on, Jacqui's a babe!"
"Talking of babes," Ru uncrossed his arms and pointed towards the door, "look at who just walked in."
Maddie turned to look at who Ru was talking about, a small smile couldn't help but creep across her face when she realised who Ru had meant. Harry had just finished saying hello to the bar staff before walking towards the table, he waved at the group from afar and flashed them all a porcelain smile.
"Is that Harry fucking Styles?"
"Be cool, Jenny." Ru put down his glass, "Be cool."
***
"Look, I'm telling you, Against All Odds by Phil Collins was released in 1984." Jenny slammed down her hands onto the table, "I know my ballads, okay? I know them! Tell them, Harry."
Harry's eyes widened once he realised he'd been aimlessly staring in Maddie's direction for the God-knows-how-long, "Uh- yeah- 1984."
"Fine, I'll put it." Josh couldn't hide his annoyance as he scribbled down the answer, "If it's wrong, you're buying me a drink."
"If it's wrong, Harry will buy everyone in this bloody pub a drink."
"Next Question." Sandy, the landlady, spoke loudly into the microphone. "In Greek Mythology, what is the name of the Goddess of Agriculture?"
"What? What's agriculture?" Jenny downed her drink, "Like, farms?"
Ru raised an eyebrow and shot Jenny a confused stare, "Yes, like, farms, Jen. You grew up on a farm."
"It's Demeter." Maddie took a sip of her drink, "The Goddess of Agriculture is Demeter."
"'ow the hell did ya know that, Mad?" Harry couldn't believe someone of the stuff Maddie knew; she knew who the British Prime Minister was between the years of 1924 to 1929 and she even knew that Yuri Gagarin was the name of the only crew member aboard the Vostok 1. "You should definitely go on Mastermind or something, you'd smash it."
"Thank you." Maddie bit down on her lip to stop a smile from spilling out, "Can't take the credit though, I've just been listening in on my dad reading to Edie about Greek Mythology.."
"Anyway, what about me?" Jenny dug her elbow into Harry's side, "Would I do well on Mastermind?"
"I mean, ya did know what Doctor Who's mechanical robot dog was called."
***
"Okay, we're now into the top three. In third place..." Sandra looked around the room, pausing for dramatic effect, "...it's 'The Two Gents' with an impressive 58 points."
Ru threw his hands over his mouth, "We're in the top two!"
"And now, it looks like we have a tie for first: The Penguins and Quiz on- Ru, was this you?" Sandra shot a glare in his direction, "You're lucky 'm not disqualifying your team for that name. The Penguins and Quiz on my Face, it's time for the tie-break question. Pencils ready? On a London Underground map, what colour is the District Line?"
"Yellow," Josh grabbed the pencil, "I know this one, it's yellow."
"'s not yellow, mate." Harry whispered.
"It is yellow, mate."
"Trust me, I live in London. It's not yellow, tha's the Circle Line."
"Josh, listen to him!" Ru grabbed the pencil out of Josh's grasp and gave it to Harry, "I'm suffocating on all the testosterone around the table, man. Just leave it."
Harry jotted down the word 'Green' on the bottom of the piece of paper. "If 'm wrong, I'll buy everyone in this pub a drink." He folded the paper in half and walked it up to Sandra.
"Okay, I have both pieces of paper back in now. Let's have a look." Sandra lowered her glasses, "Right, well, one team has the right answer. So, in second place, we have..." Harry and Maddie both had their fingers crossed, "...the Penguins - which means that tonight's winners are Quiz on my- no, I'm not reading that. Come and collect your prize, you bunch of filthies."
***
"Harry, y'are clearly our good luck charm." Jenny wrapped her arm around his shoulders, giving him a tight squeeze. "In all our years of coming here, we've never even placed top three - let alone bloody win! What a prize an' all, £50 bloody quid and a crate of beer!"
Josh reached out for Maddie's hand, causing the two of them to lag slightly behind. "You were really good tonight, Mad. Really showed off your knowledge." Josh was nervous as he gazed over Maddie's face, "D'ya fancy maybe doing something just the two of us next ti- I mean, if you want there to be a next time."
"Yeah- yeah." Maddie felt her heart swell as she glanced over to see Harry laughing with Ru and Jenny; she tried her best to ignore the fluttering feeling churning around in her tummy as she turned back to Josh, "Sounds good."
"Hey, Jen and I are gonna go and get a congratulatory kebab?" Ru zipped up his jacket, "You two coming?"
Josh glanced to Maddie, "Yeah, I'm in. You coming, Mads?"
Maddie could see Harry's smile drop in her peripheral vision, "No, I won't. Best get back home so Dad can go to bed. Have you got your key, Ru?"
Ru nodded, turning on his heels to walk away, "Oh, Mad, would you mind giving Harry a lift home?"
Maddie's eyes narrowed, "Yep. That's fine." She looked over to Josh, flashing him a reassuring smile, "See you later."
***
Maddie was so focused on how much she was going to lay into Ru about this stitch-up of a situation that she didn't even hear the question Harry had asked to break the awkward silence.
"Sorry, what?"
"Wh- what made you move back home? I remember you said you lived in London."
"Oh, right. Yeah, I did." Maddie readjusted her grip on the steering wheel, "I couldn't afford the costs of a house and a baby on my wages so my parents suggested I move back in with them. The plan was to save money whilst living there so I could put down a deposit somewhere but, y'know, doesn't always happen how you think."
"'m sorry." Harry words were laced with guilt, "If I'd have known, I- I would've helped."
"I don't want your charity, Harry."
"'s not- it's not charity, Mads." The crease between his brows deepened, "I still want to help."
"Do you want to help or do you feel obliged to help?"
"What kinda question is that? Do you not want me to help?"
"I just don't want you to decide to be 100% into something if, once the dust settles, you think 'actually, I can't do this'. You don't get to turn parenting on and off, Harry; once you're a parent, you're a parent for life."
"Or, in my case, you become a parent five years after your child is born."
Nobody talked for awhile after Harry's comment; Maddie was busy trying to fight back tears whilst Harry silently cursed at himself for being such an idiot. He didn't mean it - well, he did - but he didn't mean it to be said with such spite. He knew there would always be a small part of him that would never be able to fully forgive Maddie for keeping Edie from him, whatever her reasons were. He'd missed out on countless once-in-a-lifetime moments at the selfishness of somebody else. However, none of that changed the way he felt about Maddie - maybe it should've - but it didn't.
"Do you think- d'ya think if we- if I hadn't lost your number that- that we would still be together now?"
Maddie wiped away a stray tear, "Um." She knew the answer she wanted to give, regardless of whether or not it would've ended up being true or not. "I think so."
"Me, too." Harry whispered, "I liked you so much, Maddie. So, so much in- in such a short space of time. You must've felt that. It felt so different- felt so right."
"I don't want to do this, Harry. I don't want to have this talk." Maddie's whole body relaxed as she pulled up outside of the B&B; she knew she was only moments away from this uncomfortable tension. "Sleep well, okay?"
Harry didn't say anything as he got out of the car, much to Maddie's surprise - part of her hoped he would've, so she'd had an excuse to be in his company a little longer. The other part of her was relieved that she felt she could respond appropriately. Maddie rested her head against the wheel as a couple of tears fell from her eyes and her bottom lip quivered. She covered her mouth to stop the quiet sobs from spilling out.
Knock-knock.
Maddie's head shot up at the sound, her hands quickly wiped over her face to get rid of any signs of upset. She rolled down the window, swallowing down the lump in her throat as she realised that the person on the other side of the glass wasn't the person she'd wanted it to be.
"Hi, Carmel."
"What're you doing, pet?"
Maddie felt her bottom lip start to wobble, "I've just dropped Harry off. I was just- just about to drive off but I was- was choosing a song."
"You're not fooling anybody, my darling."
"I'm not trying to fool anyone."
"Excuse me? Ya trying to fool yourself, pet." Carmel pointed her finger at Maddie, "Tryna fool yourself that you're not head over heels for that boy. That you've not been head over heels for the last God knows how many years. Mask it all you want, Maddie. I can see it."