personal best || harry styles au

ten

It had been just over a week since the news of Edie had been released into the world - 'Edie-gate' as Ru had dubbed it - and in that time, a lot had happened.
Harry had been contacted by every major newspaper, gossip magazine and TV network in the hopes of securing an interview with him and finding out all the juicy details of this so-called 'scandal'. Harry had also declined every single invitation sent his way. Of course, Lizzie chastised him for doing so. She kept saying it wasn't okay to release this massive statement and then not follow it up with anything but he didn't care. He had wanted the world to know that Edie existed but only enough that there wasn't speculation about who she was if they were ever to be pictured together.
Unbeknownst to Harry, Maddie had not been coping well with the situation. Jacqui and Jenny had forced her out of the house and down to their local pub to gain some dutch courage and talk about the situation.
"Did somebody say 'slippery nipple', my fellow compadres!" Jenny plonked down the tray of shots onto the table, eyeing up each one to see which was the fullest. Once she was happy with her decision, Jenny pushed the glass on the right towards Maddie, "You definitely need this more than us."
"Sambuca makes me throw up, Jen." Maddie pinched the bridge of her nose as she necked back the shot, feeling the burn from the alcohol sting her throat as she waved her hands around.
Jacqui covered her mouth, "Fucking hell, Jen. That is disgusting."
"I like it!" Jenny wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, "Right, Maddie, this evening's all about you. Lay it on us. How are you feeling? Honestly."
"Honestly, a little tipsy." Maddie took a long swig of her drink, "Mixed with a lot of 'what the fuck', y'know? The whole situation is fucking wild!" The overuse of swear words was Maddie's tell that she was a lot more than just tipsy. "He- he didn't even know! Three- what?- three months ago. No clue! Now- now he's published a photograph of her. It's crazy! Fucking crazy!"
"It is crazy." Jacqui squeezed Maddie's hand, "But we are all here-"
"-yeah, yeah, enough of that. We're all for you, etc." Jenny leant forward, lowering her voice as she looked around for any signs of eavesdroppers, "What was the sex like? Is he- y'know- more an anaconda or a slug down there?"
Maddie let out a loud laugh, "What? He's not a reptile!" Jenny looked at her as if she was an idiot for not understanding what was being hinted at; a simple point to the crotch area was all Maddie needed to gain some clarity. "Got it, got it, I'm with you. Yes, it was good- great. No to the slug, definitely not a slug. I feel like an anaconda isn't humanly possible so let's go with a cucumber."
***
As she stumbled out of the pub, Maddie was 95% sure she was now definitely more than 'just tipsy'. The cold wind - which had passers by shivering - didn't even make Maddie flinch as she searched around in her bag for her phone. Meanwhile, Jacqui and Jenny bundled out of the door in fits of giggles as Jenny mumbled something incoherently that set Jacqui off into an even louder fit of hysterics.
Maddie hiccuped, "Hello? Can I have a taxi for-"
"-Maddie?" A groggy voice replied.
"Yes, taxi for Maddie. Jacqui and Jenny, too. Please." Maddie looked down at her shoes, letting out a few chuckles as she continued to stare. The sound of rustling could be heard on the other end of the line, Maddie wrinkled her nose up as she pulled the phone away from her ear, staring at the screen. "I'm outside the pub! Have I- has my signal gone?"
"It's Harry, Mads."
An audible gasp left her mouth as she turned to Jacqui and Jenny - who were both looking at her with wide eyes. "It's Harry." She mouthed before clearing her throat and putting on her best 'sober' voice. "God, I totally- silly me, I called the wrong number. Sorry. Good night!"
"Wait, Mad- 'm not- look, 'm up now so I'll come and get you. Jac and Jen too."
"You don't have-"
"-'m on me way, pretty girl."
Maddie was glad for the bitter wind that whipped at her cheeks as it was helping to cool down the blushing caused by Harry's casual drop of a new pet-name. She was also glad that she had called Harry - today would've been the first day that they'd not seen one another in almost a week and, Maddie would never admit it, but everything seemed a little brighter when Harry was around.
***
Harry waited until both Jacqui and Jenny were safely inside Jacqui's flat before pulling away and heading in the direction of Maddie's house. He'd noticed that Maddie had been pretty quiet since getting in the car, choosing to keep her gaze fixed on the passings by outside the window rather than talking to him. Harry had also noticed how attractive Maddie looked tonight but it didn't seem the right time to bring that up so, instead, he kept his eyes focused on the road.
"I just-" Maddie's mouth had started moving before her mind had even had a chance to realise what was happening, "-I wanted you to know that- there wasn't a day in the last five years that I didn't think of you. And my- my biggest regret will always be not introducing Edie to you sooner."
"Maddie, don't-"
"-I wanted your mum to meet her." Maddie was thankful that the car journey had come to a stop as she was starting to feel nauseous, "You don't talk about her much - and that's fine - but I see the amount of love-"
"-can't do this, Mads. 'm not there yet, pretty girl. One day." Harry took hold of her hands, placing a chaste kiss against her frozen knuckles, "Let's get you inside, okay?"
Harry hopped out of the car, wiping away the glassy mist that burned at his eyes as he jogged around to Maddie's side of the car. He opened up the door, holding his hand out for her to take - flashing her a small smile as she did so.
***
"Stop peeking!" Maddie threw a balled up pair of socks in Harry's direction.
He let out a quiet laugh as he turned to Maddie - with his hands pressed firmly over his eyes, "'m not peeking, you fibber! Y'just want an excuse to throw socks at me." The room suddenly fell silent, "Maddie?" Harry craned his neck left and right, listening out for any sign of noise. "Mad?" He was just about to call out again when he felt Maddie's milky thighs straddle either side of his lap.
"You can look now." Her words came out as a breathless whisper made up of minty toothpaste and the lingering hint of aniseed.
As soon as he opened his eyes, Harry felt a twitch between his legs and a low groan spilled from his lips. "Fucking hell, Mad. You- you look unreal."
Maddie wrinkled her nose at the compliment as she glanced down at the matching underwear set, pushing to the back of her mind the realisation that she was going to regret being so forward in the morning. If it was dutch courage she was looking for this evening, she'd certainly found it.
Harry put his hands on either of Maddie's shoulders as she leant forward to kiss him, "Mad, believe me, I- fuck me, I want this so bad but- but not like this." His hands dropped to rest at the small of her back, pulling her closer towards him. "Is that okay?"
"I haven't- 've not slept with anyone else, Harry." Maddie looked down, suddenly very aware that the faint stretch marks on her stomach and hips were on show for Harry to see. She crossed her arms over her body. "Not since our first time - if that's what you're worried about."
"What? 's that what ya think?" Harry looked down at the positioning of her arms, running his fingers along the freckled skin by her wrist, "Couldn't care less about that, Mad. All that matters is now. And, right now, you look beautiful and- God, it's taking everything in me to not-" He closed his eyes as he let out a long breath, "-let's get you to bed, okay?"
"Will you stay?"
Harry looked up at the golden flecks around Maddie's pupils, noticing how they seemed to glisten from the light of the lamp in the corner. He rested his thumb under Maddie's chin, pulling her lips against his, "Yeah, I'll stay."
Maddie hopped up, walking over to her wardrobe and grabbing an oversized t-shirt to throw on. She couldn't remember the last time a boy had stayed over - if ever. By the time she'd turned around, Harry had already stripped down to his boxers and gotten under the duvet. He flashed Maddie a sheepish smile and she thought her heart might explode right there and then.
"Harry, I- I've been reading some of the things that have been said about Edie." She grazed her toes against the carpet, picking at the skin around her thumb. "I know you said not to but- I couldn't help it."
"Mads," Harry sat up, opening his arms, "come here, love."
She got under the duvet, cosying up into the crook of Harry's arm as she drew aimless tracings around the tattoos on his chest, "Some of the stuff- some of it was horrible."
"Some people are pricks, Mad."
"She doesn't deserve that though, Harry. She's five." Maddie felt a sharp sting hit the back of her eyes, "She's five years old and being called worse things than I ever have been my entire life."
Harry smoothed his hand down the back of Maddie's hair, "Do you wish I hadn't posted the photo?"
"No- no, I wanted that for you." She quickly wiped away a fallen tear with the back of her hand, "Just surprised me that people can be so cruel."
"Please don't-" Harry cleared his throat, "-if anything about you ever comes out, please don't read any of it. Can take you to a bad place, reading that kinda stuff about yourself. So, please don't."
"I won't."
Harry kissed the top of head, allowing himself a second to take in her warm scent before he reached over to turn off the lamp. He shifted his body down so his head was resting against a pillow, Maddie moved her body with him so she could continue to lie in the same position. It wasn't long before his eyes began to flutter shut and, right before he slipped off into unconsciousness, Harry smiled to himself because for the first time - in a long time - he felt at home.
***
Of all the ways Harry had been woken up in his life, the sound of his daughter giggling at him for being in bed with her mother was definitely one of the more unusual instances. He shot up quickly, startling Maddie awake with his sudden movement. As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he could really see himself in Edie today; her hair was pulled back into a messy bun - bar a few stray curls that had escaped around her ears to look like angel wings.
"Good morning." Edie's cheeks were puffed out as she tried to contain her laughter, "Grandad asked what your favourite toppings for pancakes are, Harry? Mummy likes yoghurt and berries but we don't know yours. Grandad said the options are yoghurt and berries, um, syrup and - hm - peanut butter, maybe? I can't remember."
"Um- yoghurt and berries, please." Harry could feel a warm heat spreading across his face, "Thank you."
"I'll go tell Grandad." Edie reached her finger forward and prodded Harry's chest, "What's that?"
"They're- uh- some of my tattoos."
"Tah-toos." Edie mimicked his accent, "Uncle Ru has some tattoos but I think yours are prettier, I like the two birdies." She leant forward, inspecting the large butterfly sprawled across Harry's chest, "This one is nice, too. Do you like butterflies?"
"Edie, stop touching Harry's tattoos." Maddie's voice was groggy as she sat up, "Besides, you are not to even think about tattoos until you're eighteen, you hear me?" She stifled a yawn, "How long have you been up anyway, little miss?"
"A little while." Edie's tongue poked out of her mouth slightly as she thought back to any events that had happened up until now, "I did some reading and writing with Nanny, helped Grandad feed the birds and then I was the 'breakfast berry-washer'." She smiled at her new title.
Maddie swung her legs out of bed, holding her hand out for Edie to take, "Let's go try them then, I'm sure they'll be the best berries anyone's ever eaten."
***
As Harry walked into the entrance-hall of Sandcastle Cottage, he was shocked to find it  completely barren - especially at this time in the morning; it had just gone ten and there was no sign of Carmel anywhere. Usually, she'd be gossiping with Harry in his room; completing a variety of jobs on her never-ending to-do list; or whipping up a casual croquembouche because she had still yet to nail a homemade caramel but, as of right now, she had completely vanished.
"Carmel?" Harry peered into the different rooms downstairs, the crease between his brows becoming more apparent as time went on. All the windows were closed, the doors were locked, there were no plates or cups lying around. Nothing.
Footsteps.
Harry's eyes shot up to the ceiling. "Carmel?" No answer. He grabbed an umbrella from the coat stand at the bottom of the stairs, taking each step one at a time to avoid making any sound. His heart was racing as he tightened the grip around the umbrella's handle. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He breathed out nervously.
More footsteps.
He raised the 'weapon' above his head, jumping out from the top of the stairs, "Don't move!"
A loud scream left the mouth of a man Harry had never seen before; the surprise of seeing a total stranger screaming in his face caused him to let out a startled shout, dropping the umbrella in the process.
"What the fu-" Carmel swung open the door to her bedroom, "-Harry? Phil? What the hell are ya both screaming at?" She tied a quick knot in the belt of her silk dressing gown before she tottered over to Harry, grabbing the umbrella off the carpet. "What did ya think ya gonna do wi'this, Mary Poppins?"
Harry's eyes flicked between Carmel's and the open-mouthed stranger still stood on the landing, "I thought- 'm not sure what I thought but I panicked- thought there was an intruder."
"For God's sake. Right, Harry, meet Phil. Phil, this is Harry." Carmel cleared her throat, "Phil's my- uh- my friend."
"Her special friend." Phil nudged Carmel.
"Weren't ya leaving, Phil?" Carmel shot him a look, raising her eyebrows as she gestured at the stairs. She waited until he had disappeared down the stairs before she focused her attention back on Harry, reaching up to brush a few crumbs from his t-shirt. "Well, well, well, where did you spend the night?"
Harry's mind was still trying to process everything that had just happened, "Sorry, I- who was that?"
"Come on," Carmel shuffled down the stairs, "I'll fill you in over tea."
***
In the hour that Carmel had been talking, Harry had learnt a lot.
Phil and Carmel had been together for almost seven months although nobody knew about their relationship, except now for Harry. Phil's wife had sadly passed away almost a year ago and, not wanting to upset any of his family, Carmel persuaded him to keep the two of them a secret.
"Is it- is it not hard? Trying to sneak around without anyone finding out?" Harry's head hurt from trying to process all of this new information.
Carmel sighed, "I don't want his children to think he's forgotten about their mum- or- or that he no longer loves her because he's in a-" Her fingers took the form of air quotes, "-"relationship" with me."
"They would never think that." He leant further back into the cosy armchair, allowing himself to get swallowed by the soft cushions, "Does- what does Phil say?"
"He wants to tell them." Carmel shuddered, "Invite them all for a sit-down meal and then - wham!" She slammed a fist onto the table, causing the china teacups to shudder whilst startling Harry upright. "Spill the beans about who I am. Absolutely not. Absolutely not!"
"Carmel-"
"-absolutely not, Harry." She got up, stacking up the empty cups, "See, I'm okay, me. I don't have any blood family to worry about - parents, children, husband, etc. He does. I won't be the reason his kids don't want nothing to do with him, Harry."
He stood up, taking the cups from Carmel's grasp, "Y'don't know that's how they'll react, Carmel." Harry could tell from her silence that she no longer wanted to talk about it - Carmel rarely stayed silent for longer than a few seconds and it had been at least twenty. "So, I stayed at Maddie's last night."
Carmel's face softened as she picked up the remaining items off the table, "Oh, that's lovely news, Harry. Just lovely." She shooed him towards the kitchen, following close behind. "I've been rooting for ya both from the start."
***
When Monday came around again, Harry's routine kicked off the same as it always did: he had a quick gossip with Carmel; wolfed down a quick breakfast; grabbed a pastry to bring for Edie to have for breakfast during their walk to school and set off for Maddie's house.
Harry's routine after the school-run was pretty much the same as previous weekdays, too. He'd popped in to see Maddie briefly but she was busy doing a stock check so he'd met up with Ru to talk through some new ideas he'd had for songs. After that, he headed back to the cottage to help Carmel change some light bulbs, iron a few piles of washing and do anything he could to keep her mind from straying back to the fact that Phil hadn't contacted her in a few days.
Sooner than he'd realised, it was time to go and pick Edie up. He grabbed his coat from by the door and headed down the familiar path, keeping his hands firmly in his pockets to shield them from the chilly wind.
As Harry walked through the school gates, he was welcomed by the sound of children laughing and playing nearby. It was a sound that usually filled him with joy but not today; Harry had felt odd all day but he couldn't explain it. It was like he was being watched.
Harry tried to shake the feeling as neared the playground, his eyes searching for Edie's. They spotted each other at the same time, causing matching grins to plaster across both their faces. Edie looked up at her teacher, pointing towards Harry before running over to him with open arms. He swooped her up off the floor, pulling her in close for a quick hug. It was crazy how much he'd missed her.
"Did you have a good day?" He plonked her down on the floor, taking hold of her book-bag and lunchbox.
Edie slipped her hand into Harry's free one, giggling at how cold his fingers felt against hers. "Yes! I wrote a story about two penguins and we got to play with sand today."
Harry feigned surprise, raising his eyebrows so high they almost receded into his hairline, "Blimey, Edes. That is a pretty cool day." Harry stopped suddenly in his tracks, looking around for anything suspicious. He swore he'd seen the flash of a camera but maybe he hadn't? His eyes narrowed as he started walking again, squeezing Edie's hand a little tighter.
"I moved up a book band, too."
Harry noticed the tone in Edie's voice had changed - as if she was almost embarrassed about the achievement. "'at's amazing, Edes. So good. You should be so proud!"
She scuffed her shoe against the floor, "This- this girl in my class, Holly, she said that it wasn't fair that I moved up and she didn't."
"Hey, don't listen to her. People who don't celebrate your successes, they aren't worth your time, Edes. Trust me. Holly's probably jealous that you're a super reader." Harry stopped again. There was definitely a flash that time. "Hey, Edes, how'd ya feel about a piggy-back?" He forced a smile to curve at his lips, bending down so Edie could hop onto his back. "Hold on, alright?" He waited until he felt Edie's hands gripping tightly onto his shoulders before he started running towards the highstreet.
***
Harry pushed open the door to the bookshop, dropping Edie down carefully from his back before turning back to look through the glass. Something wasn't right, he could feel it.
"Hey, you guys are back!" Maddie walked into the room, "How was your day, little bug?"
Edie hummed, "Harry's acting weird."
He quickly spun around, pressing himself against the door frame in an attempt to look composed, "No, 'm not. Everything's fine." He crossed his arms over his chest, "Anyway, enough about me. Ede- Edie moved up a book band!"
Maddie's mouth dropped, "Edie! That's amazing."
Harry turned to look out the window at the exact time a bright flash went off on the other side of the glass, blinding him for a few seconds as he tried to blink away the spots in his vision. "Maddie- Mad, can ya take Edie upstairs for me?"
Maddie's facial expression oozed concern as she watched Harry paw at his eyes, "Are you okay?"
"The-" Harry looked down at Edie then back to Maddie, lowering his voice, "-there's cameras outside."
Several flashes went off and, this time, Maddie witnessed all of them. She noticed a small group of men in zipped up black jackets and huge cameras lingering across the road from the shop, gawking at the scene in front of them. Her maternal instincts kicked into overdrive as she tried to steady her now-shaking hands, "Edes, come upstairs with me quick, please."
Harry was thankful that Edie had been whisked away when she had; mostly because he wasn't ready for her to be exposed to the hounding of the paparazzi but, also, partly because he couldn't breathe and he didn't want her to see him like this. He ducked down under the counter, covering his hands with his face as he tried to steady his shaky breaths.