personal best || harry styles au

nine

It was New Year's Eve and, instead of getting ready, Maddie was thinking about what her resolution for the coming year was going to be. She thought about going down the traditional route of eating better and exercising more but that was something she could never stick to. She wanted to try and get back into reading but trying to find the time to read was more difficult than it seemed.
Ru swung open the bedroom door, "Maddie, how are you still not ready to go?" He tapped at the pocket watch dangling down from his chest pocket. "Jac was expecting us fifteen minutes ago! And, poor Harry, he's already on his way to the party - on his own, Mad."
"Sorry, not sure where my head's at today." Maddie took the rollers out of her hair, brushing her fingers through the tight curls to loosen them out a little, "Give me five minutes, I'll be ready."
Maddie waited until she heard her brother's footsteps descend down the stairs before getting up to get changed; she slipped into the black flapper dress, smoothing her hands down any pieces of beading that looked out of place. As she turned to look at her reflection, she quickly swiped over a coat of red lipstick and put on a matching black beaded headband.
Knock-knock.
"Ru, I'm com-" Maddie's voice softened when she saw it was Edie at the door, "-hi, little bug. What are you doing awake?" She bent down, opening up her arms as a sleepy Edie came waddling over to rest her head on Maddie's shoulder, "Did you have a bad dream, huh? Or just can't sleep?"
"Wanted to see you before you left." Edie let out a little yawn, "You look very pretty."
"Thank you, lovely." Maddie stuck out her bottom lip as she pulled Edie closer to her. She lived for moments like this with Edie, small gestures that reminded her how lucky she was to have such a wonderfully kind daughter.
The mother-daughter exchange was cut short by another door knock, this time it was David's head peeking around the door. "Hey, I just noticed the little one wasn't in her room. Everything okay?"
Maddie nodded, "She just wanted to say 'bye' again."
Edie turned around, shuffling over to her grandad who scooped her up in one swoop, "Let's get you back to bed, missy."
David mouthed a 'she'll be fine' to Maddie who was still in two minds about whether to even go to the party; any second thoughts she had were quickly put to one side as she heard an impatient Ru call her name up the stairs.
***
"Bloody hell, H. You look like Thomas Shelby himself!" Ru pulled Harry into a quick hug, "Flatcap suits you, should definitely rock that more." A sheepish Harry readjusted his hat as he mumbled a quiet 'thank you' to Ru. "Right, let's get some drinks - that open bar is calling my name!" He grabbed Jac's
hand and hurried off into the busy crowd.
Maddie and Harry hadn't really been alone much since Christmas Day - they also hadn't spoken about what happened either. Maddie couldn't stop sneaking glances at Harry in his 'Roaring Twenties' costume; Ru was right, he looked like a cast extra from Peaky Blinders - it definitely suited him but, from what Maddie had seen, what didn't?
"Do you-"
"D'ya-" A small smile twitched at the corners of Harry's mouth and Maddie's knees almost buckled at the sight, "You go."
"Do you want a drink? I think Ru's probably forgotten about us."
"I'll go. Vanilla vodka with pineapple juice, right?" Harry's smile was fully formed now.
"Uh- ye- yeah. Perfect." Maddie tried not to seem so surprised that Harry knew her drink order from memory. She was sure she'd hadn't told him.
***
Maddie was six drinks down and definitely past the point of 'just tipsy', her vision was fuzzy and she was sure her words weren't making much sense. She had also somehow ended up in the same toilet cubicle as Jac - who was currently sat on the toilet belting out ABBA songs.
"I definitely want ABBA played at m'wedding, Mad." Jac's hands fumbled around looking for the toilet paper, "D'you think Ru would mind?"
"'course not, Jac." Maddie handed over a few sheets of toilet paper to a half-asleep Jacqui, "Why would he mind?"
"Be- hic- cause, Maddie, it would also be his wedding." Jacqui pressed down on the flush, "Do you- do you think- hic- Ru loves me as much as Harry loves you?"
Maddie stared at her with wide-eyes, "What?"
"What?" Jacqui's laugh filled the entire cubicle as she lost her balance whilst trying to rearrange her dress, "I can't remember what we were talking about, truth be told." Maddie watched Jacqui stumble out towards the sink area, swiping her hands under the automatic taps. "God, I look like shit, Mads."
"You look amazing." Maddie tucked in the label sticking out of Jacqui's dress as she flashed her a quick smile, "Ru's a lucky guy, really." Jacqui pulled Maddie into a tight hug filled with the scent of tequila and faded perfume.
***
The two girls headed out of the bathroom and back into the crowded main hall filled with Jacqui's coworkers - most of whom were completely inebriated thanks to the many open bars dotted around the place. Within seconds of leaving the toilet, Jacqui was being ushered over to do shots with someone she worked with, she turned to Maddie and told her she would be right back and, before Maddie could respond, Jacqui had already left. Maddie stood up on her tiptoes to try and spot Harry or Ru but all she could see was a sea of flat caps and dark coloured overcoats.
"Hey, you look like you could use a drink."
A wave of relief washed over Maddie as she turned around to reply but that feeling quickly vanished once she realised the voice didn't belong to who she wanted it to. "Oh, I'm okay. Thank you, though." She went to walk away but felt a grip pull against her wrist.
"It's just a drink, okay? Just trying to be nice." The stranger let go of Maddie's wrist, flashing her a porcelain smile that looked like it cost £10,000 and needed flossing after every meal.
Maddie subconsciously rubbed any trace of his grip from her skin as she looked him up and down. Fitted grey suit with matching buttoned waist-coat. Polished black boots that reflected every bit of light in the room. Tweed flat cap sitting on a bed of slicked back blonde hair. Without getting to know him, Maddie knew exactly the kind of guy he was. "Appreciate the offer but I'm okay."
"Look, okay, you got me. I think you're hot." The guy clapped his hands together as he took a step closer to Maddie - he smelt of stale cigarettes and Lynx deodorant. "Why don't we go find a quiet corner to count down the New Year in?"
"I'm okay." Maddie took a step back but the guy closed the gap between them, "I'm gonna go find my-"
"No, come on, let's just-"
"-'s everything okay here?" Harry's voice was quiet as he spoke, his eyes were narrow as they glanced up and down at the guy standing inches away from Maddie.
Maddie breathed out a shuddered sigh as the guy stepped back, laughing as he turned to face Harry. "Yeah, we're fine, mate! You know how it is, some girls just need more loosening up than others. They start off being a bit of a frigid bitch but-"
"-what did you say?"
"Harry, leave it." Maddie had never seen him like this. His eyes were completely cold and his ring-adorned fingers were balled up into tight fists.
"Yo, you can have her." The guy held up his hands, "She's not even worth it. Prudish bitch."
Before Maddie had the chance to intervene, Harry's white-knuckled fist landed onto the stranger's nose followed by a loud crunch. The guy stumbled back as he clutched his nose, crying out in pain as he ran off to find something to help stop the bleeding.
It took Harry a few seconds to adjust to the rush of adrenaline pumping around his body; he took a quick glance at his fist before zoning back into the situation around him. "Are you okay?" Harry stepped towards Maddie - who looked completely shellshocked - cupping her cheeks with both his hands, "Mads, are you okay?"
"I don't- what the hell- I need some air."
***
Maddie may not have spoken to Harry since they both came outside but, even without verbal confirmation, Harry could see she was freezing cold. He slipped his arms out of his overcoat, sucking in a wince as one of his sleeves grazed over his knuckles and draped the coat over Maddie's shoulders.
"You don't- you'll get cold." Maddie's eyebrows were knitted with concern.
Harry flashed a comforting smile, "Adrenaline's keeping me warm."
Maddie pulled the fabric around her body allowing the smell of mint and woody aftershave to fill her nostrils, she wished there was a way to bottle up the scent to keep and spray whenever she needed a pick-me-up. "I don't know if I'm supposed to thank you- for- for what you did."
"I don't know either." Harry scuffed the toe of his shoe against the ground, "I know you can fight your own battles, Mad - you're tough as hell - I just- just couldn't let him speak to you like that. Wouldn't have let him speak to anyone like that but just- especially not you."
Maddie knew she shouldn't dig deeper about what he meant, it wasn't her business. However, the alcohol was still very much in her bloodstream and, in this moment, the curiosity in her outweighed the sensible. "What do you mean when you say stuff like that? 'Especially not me' - what does that mean?"
"Well, I- I care about you, Mad. I've thought about you every day for the past five years and I-"
"-but you've slept with other people?"
Harry paused, trying to find the link between everything that was being said. "I don't- well, yes but I don't- 'm not sure how that's relevant."
"Do you lo- like me?" Maddie knew future Maddie was going to be so cross with the ridiculous stuff coming out of her mouth, "Because sometimes I- I feel like you do and I- whenever I see you- and the kisses- I just- I do want something to happen, Harry. With us."
"I want that, too." Harry nudged his shoulder against Maddie's, biting down on his bottom lip to stop a bashful laugh from spilling out, "Drunk Maddie doesn't hold back, does she?"
Ten...
"No, she does not." The bitter wind nipped at Maddie's skin as she wrapped the coat tighter around her, "If we don't go back inside soon, we're going to freeze to death."
Nine, eight...
"That wouldn't be good, especially when we've not even had our first date yet."
It took Maddie a second for her vision to stop spinning as she got up onto her feet, "Is that your way of asking me out on a date, Harry?" She held her hand out for him to use to help get up off the floor.
Five, four...
"Madeleine Croft," Harry brushed the pad of his thumb against Maddie's cold cheek, "will you please go on a date with me?"
...one! Happy New Year!
Maddie snaked her hand around the nape of Harry's neck, pulling his lips against hers as the sound of whistling fireworks echoed in the distance. She inched away, giving him a quick nod in response to his question before continuing her best kiss of the year so far.
***
For 8 o'clock on a dreary January morning, everyone that Harry had come across on his walk to do Edie's school run had been surprisingly chipper. He wasn't sure if he'd missed a memo in the Hastings Observer about walking down the street with a huge smile on your face and shouting 'good morning' at every person you encountered but he was enjoying himself nonetheless. Harry's knock on the front door mimicked the sound of a cheery tune as he stepped back and waited for it to open.
Harry broke into a wide grin when he saw Edie's head peek over the translucent glass on the door, he gave her a quick wave as he watched the figure disappear. Before Harry had even put his hand down, the door was flung open and the force of Edie running into him with open arms made him stagger a few steps backwards.
"Woah- good morning, ya little ball of energy. Someone's had their Cheerios this morning!" Harry smoothed his hand down the back of Edie's head, "You ready for your first day back?"
"Grandad made blueberry pancakes for breakfast, Harry, not Cheerios." Edie chuckled to herself, "And, yes! I'm excited to go back. And I'm really excited because before Christmas, my teacher, Mrs Andrews, said that when we come back to school we can share something really exciting that happened to us over the holidays."
"That's nice of her." Harry took hold of Edie's bookbag, "What are you going to share?"
"That my-"
"-Edie!" Maddie appeared at the door with her hair wrapped up in a towel, "You forgot your lunchbox!"
Edie hurried back up the path to retrieve her sparkly lunchbox, giving Maddie a quick hug before running back to Harry. "That my dad-"
"-good morning to you as well, Harry."
Harry felt a wave of heat rush to his cheeks as his eyes flicked back to the door, "Good morning, Maddie."
"You're blushing, Harry." Edie's voice was filled with giggles, "Harry's blushing at you, Mummy!"
Harry hurried Edie down the path, shushing her sniggers as he shut the gate behind him.
***
After dropping Edie off, Harry couldn't help but feel like a small part of him was missing. He liked the person he was when she was around - it felt like he became the best version of himself. Edie saw the world through rose-tinted glasses and, when they were together, Harry shared the same approach. And as he stood in line at the local coffee shop-cum-bakery, enjoying the aroma of freshly baked goods mixed with the bitterness of ground coffee, Harry felt the most content he had done in a long time - that was until he met eyes with the person behind the counter waiting to take his order.
"Sorry, are you going to order anything? There's quite the queue behind you." Josh impatiently tapped a pencil against the wooden top.
Harry glanced over his shoulder, suddenly feeling very pressured by the middle-aged woman standing behind him to order something - anything - off the menu. "Uh- yeah- please can I get a medium Americano and a- uh- medium iced chai latte with-"
"-oat milk, right?" Josh shook his head as he keyed the order into the till, "Yeah, that's Maddie's order. She usually gets a cinnamon swirl to go as well, if you're looking to score bonus points."
Harry swallowed down the words he wanted to say, forcing a smile onto his lips instead. "Just the drink's fine, thanks.
***
The dip in Harry's mood lasted right up until the point of entrance into A Likely Story. As soon as his eyes found Maddie behind the till, pricing up a bundle of books, all the worry and doubt he'd been feeling washed away.
"Hey, you." Maddie put down her pricing gun, "Wasn't expecting to see you again until tonight." Harry held up her iced latte, giving it a little shake. "And you come bearing gifts!" She leant over the counter, reaching out for the cup. "What do I owe you?"
Harry raised his eyebrows. "A kiss? Or is- is that too much? 'm not really sure what's going on with us."
Maddie aimed her pointer finger at Harry, curling it back towards her as a signal for him to come closer. He did so, quickly and willingly. The counter was proving to be a difficult barrier as Maddie leant forward on her tiptoes to place a chaste kiss against Harry's lips; she felt his lips curl into a small smile as she snuck in one extra kiss before grabbing her cup out of Harry's grasp.
"Would you say we're dating?" Harry regretted asking the question as soon as it left his mouth - especially because it made Maddie choke on the sip of chai she'd just taken.
"Uh- I-" She coughed into her hand, "-I don't- I- maybe? Like, if this were Facebook, I think we'd be the 'It's Complicated' option."
"'s'good analogy, Mads."
"What do you think?"
Harry wasn't sure what to think. He'd never felt this way about someone and the only other person he'd ever felt similar - but less intense - feelings for was the Maddie he knew from five years ago. The pair had only been back in contact for a month and a half but, in that time, everything had changed for Harry.
"I don't want- you don't have to agree but I- even though there hasn't been a first date yet, I consider us to be dating." Harry shoved his hands into his coat pockets so Maddie couldn't see how much they were shaking.
Maddie bit down on her bottom lip, "Well, I suppose I also consider us to be dating."
"'m glad that's cleared up then." Harry knew he was blushing, he could feel the heat radiating off his face and he could tell from the way Maddie was smiling at him that his cheeks were shining bright red.
Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz.
"Shit." Harry's hands fumbled around in his pockets as he tried to locate the buzzing sound; he'd been waiting all morning for this call so the last thing he needed now was for his phone to pull a disappearing act. "Got it!" Lizzie's name flashed up on the screen as Harry pressed 'accept, excusing himself from Maddie's company.
"Please tell me that text from earlier was a joke." The sound of Lizzie's fingernails hitting her computer keyboard at a great speed echoed through the phone's speaker, "I can't deal with this from you right now, Harry."
Harry slyly looked over his shoulder to check Maddie wasn't eavesdropping on his conversation, "'s not a joke, Liz. I've drafted a post, caption's short and to the point. I want this to come out because I've made the choice for it to, don't want someone else making that decision for me. Too important."
"You're not thinking long-term, Harry. There's going to be news reports, headlines, gossip magazines - and none of this will be good publicity. Your child will be branded a love-child and the mum will be called every name under the sun. Slut, gold digger, money-grabber. You name it."
Harry could hear the genuine concern in Lizzie's voice but he wasn't sure if it was concern for him or for herself and the amount of work she might have to do. "I know you don't want me to do this, Liz, but me mind's made up. I just wanted t'give you a heads up."
"I hope it's worth it, Harry. Genuinely."
***
The only instruction Harry had given Maddie about their first date was to 'dress comfy'. For Harry, that meant grey joggers, a plain white t-shirt, a soft jumper and a pair of trainers. Maddie, at first, thought it might have been a joke and came down dressed ready for a slap-up meal at a Michelin Star restaurant - not that Harry minded, especially with how her body had looked in the dress she chose. Her second time around, she nailed it. She was rocking an old baggy t-shirt on her top half and a pair of Christmas pyjamas on the bottom.
"So, is this traditional 'first date with Harry Styles' attire?" Maddie teased
"I wouldn't know, this is the first date I've ever really cared about."
Maddie scrunched up her nose, "Get lost, it's not. You've had so many girlfriends, Harry."
Harry laughed, taking it as a compliment that Maddie had clearly been keeping tabs on his personal life. "I've never had a girlfriend. I mean, not an actual girlfriend. Yeah, 've dated people but- not a girlfriend."
"What, so you've not put thought into any date you've been on? Apart from this one?"
"Going for drinks with someone doesn't require a lot of thought, Mads. Also, I guarantee you that, at least, 75% of the women I've supposedly dated are not true." Harry slowed the car into a steady stop, pulling up the handbrake and switching off the engine. "Besides, the only date that matters is this one. Okay?"
Maddie nodded, trying her best to not let it show that a whole butterfly farm had exploded in her tummy and were now frantically flapping around the place. "Where are we? Is this- are we in a car park?"
As if by magic, a large screen lit up in front of Maddie's eyes that read 'Welcome to the Outdoor Cinema'.
A loud gasp left Maddie's mouth as her neck snapped round to face Harry, "We are not at a drive-in cinema, Harry."
"We are at a dri-"
"-I've always wanted to go to one of these!" She turned back to the screen, reading the words in front of her as quickly as she could, "And they're showing Grease!"
***
The film was halfway through and Maddie and Harry had watched a combined total of roughly eleven minutes; they'd been far too busy chatting to even notice that The T-Birds were having the time of their life singing 'Greased Lightnin''. The time that had been spent chatting was proving to be beneficial for the both of them - they'd never felt closer.
"Tell me something about Edie- anything." Harry threw a piece of popcorn into his mouth, "Something that nobody else knows."
"Um- something nobody knows." Maddie tapped her lip, racking her brains for something to give to Harry. A smile twitched at her lips as she thought of the perfect thing to say. "When she was younger, she went through a really bad sleeping phase - took her hours to drift off. I tried so many things: warm milk, white noise, counting sheep. Then, I tried music. I played her classical, pop, R&B, jazz, blues, you name it. Then, I tried your music." Harry's eyes lit up, hopeful. "She loved it. Absolutely loved it. She wanted it played all the time, constantly asked me for her 'special bedtime' music."
Harry took a few moments to think about what he wanted to say rather than blurting out just anything to fill the silence. He was in a position with Maddie that he had wanted to be in for such a long time - having Edie also be a part of that position was an unexpected, but perfect, surprise. "I want- I've drafted up an Instagram post, introducing Edie." Harry studied Maddie's face for any kind of reaction but there wasn't one. "'m not gonna post it, not if you don't want me to. I wanna know you're happy with it- with all of it."
"Can I see?"
"Yeah, course." Harry slipped his phone out, loading up his Instagram drafts and passing the phone over to Maddie.
Maddie felt a pang in her chest as she looked at the photo of Edie. There was no denying she was Harry's; apart from the eyes - which Edie inherited from Maddie - everything else screamed Harry. "Post it." She handed the phone back, biting down on the skin around her thumb.
"Are you-"
"-I'm sure." She forced a smile onto her lips because she knew Harry would never do it if he detected even an ounce of hesitation. "It's not fair for you to have to hide this part of your life. Edie is part of your life."
Harry's finger hovered over the 'Share' button as he tried to block out the million thoughts running through his mind. He knew nothing would be the same after this. He knew this little bubble he'd grown to love was about to burst. He also knew, from looking over at Maddie and seeing her reassuring smile light up the dimly-lit car, that he was falling for her - hard.