Stains Of The Past (Ateez, Woosan)

14

As San watched Woo leave the room he let out a shaky breath and laid back letting his heart beat fast as he tried to calm down his mind as he closed his eyes 'We almost kissed... again.. Holy shit why do i feel like this..shit, why is this happening again? I can't let that happen again" San groans softly and as he was now regretting not taking that chance of kissing Woo when he was so so close to his face but of course he had to hesitate and let his probably his last and only opportunity of kissing Woo and now he's just sitting there disappointed in himself as he just looks at the white sheets that was covering his legs almost as they were consuming him slowly almost like his mind.

Just as San was about to cry Woo walked into the room with a tray of chicken nuggets,some small sides and some milk and juice "hey, all they had today was chicken nuggets and some sides, which I got you some mac and cheese and nuggets and milk and apple juice" He says smiling a bit as he sat down on the chair helping San up who only nods softly as form of thank you, all he could think of was if his parents knew he was here, or if they even cared that he was in here again for the same reason. "Sannie? Hey what's wrong, why are you crying?" he hears Woo ask he felt his cheeks and realized that he was crying "shit, um nothing i'm okay.. I promise" San says softly knowing that Woo could see right through his lie but it was like someone or something made him say that, could it be the demons? Or could it be the part of him that doesn't want to change and continue to hurt people then himself because his life wasn't all happy and rainbows like most kids.. So he chose the one person he knew that had the hardest time than him, Woo.

"San, please.. I want ..no I need to help you, you are not fighting this alone anymore okay.. I'm here now, and I'm not leaving no matter what you say or do okay" Woo gently places his hand onto San's dry rough hand and smiles softly at him. San's heart was now aching from the way Woo was being so gentle and nice to him, he didn't deserve this treatment, he wanted Woo to hate, scream, his, hell even kill him for all the years of torment...but he wasn't..he was being all nice to him...being there for him..holding him..caring for him, all abnormal things that he was used causing old dreadful feelings to come back the main source of the pain he caused...All because of confusing feelings.

"I'm sorry Woo.. for everything, I was such an asshole to you.. No worse than that, there's too many horrible things I did to you..I'm sorry, why are you being so nice to me Woo.. you should be screaming,hurting, hitting me..doing the same things I did to you but worse.." San said looking at Woo who only just sighs softly and cups San's cheek with his hand "Because I don't want you to suffer anymore...You're my best friend, plus I don't like making people feel hurt. So I'll stay here with you until the very end, no matter what San.."

After those words left Woo's mouth San couldn't help but smile softly but happily and nodded softly "thank you Woo.." San said softly then Woo brought a chicken nugget to San's mouth smiling softly at him, San then got the picture and opened his mouth letting Woo feed him the chicken nugget.

The two boys were laughing and smiling for hours almost as time was frozen for the two. Woo couldn't even think straight cause all his thoughts were filled with memories or San's laugh and smile causing his heart to speed up making everything in slow motion.

On the other hand San was so happy he couldn't

remember why he was in the hospital or anything bad in his life, all his mind was thinking of was this moment with Woo, his smile on his pink soft lips, his chocolate brown his disappearing when he was smiling or laughing even when his nose scrunched up. Everything made San happy, even the small things.

Later that night both boys were asleep, smiling in their sleep as Woo had his head on San's chest while San had his arm around his waist like they used to when they were younger. Where everything was normal..happy.. And loving.

The following morning was the day where San was discharged from the hospital but he had to go through therapy. San and Woo were walking around the city watching the people walk by listening to the cars rush past  them causing their hair to go everywhere.  "Woo..? Can I ask you something?" San asks looking at Woo with a soft gaze over his face.

"Yeah, ask away Sannie" Woo said, smiling softly at him as he was kinda confused and worried for the question that would leave from San's mouth.

"Uh..do you still write stories?" San asked, kinda embarrassed as he looked away from Woo's gaze causing Woo to smile softly, "of course I do, not as much though" Woo replied smiling again as he looked away from San.

San was no yelling at himself mentally as he was to scared about Woo's reaction  to the real question he was going to really ask him but he can't ask now so he just sighs mentally to himself, "Do you still dance and sing though San?" Woo asks softly looking back at San. wh only stayed quiet and shook his head no.

"No, I'm more of a racer now" San mumbled softly as he continued to walk to nobody knows "Oh, that's cool" Woo said softly as he followed San as he really didn't know what to say in response of that statement which made the amstaphere around the boys which Woo felt like was awkward or nerve settling.

About five minutes of complete silence Woo looked up and saw that both of them were around his neighborhood. Which meant his father was near, and home. San was in deep thoughts he didn't realize that Woo had stopped walking in the same direction.

Woo's heart was beating fast. Almost to the point he couldn't hear anything but the rapid beating in his ears, his lungs were taking out of the air in his body which was making Woo hyperventilate badly as he was now thinking of what his father do to him when he got back home, will he be able to walk cause the bruises? Or will he not be able to write his stories and do his school work? So many thoughts rushed through his head that he didn't realize that he was now crying uncontrollably.

San's thoughts were banishes when he heard a soft sob come from behind him causing him to turn around and see that Woo was in a middle of a panic attack, his legs were first to move and then his arms wrapped around Woo's waist and pull him into a tight and protective hug "Shh , it's okay Woo, I'm here to protect you, it's okay, just listen to my voice" San said rubbing Woo's back softly "it's okay, take deep breaths" he says softly as Woo just gripped onto San's shirt as it was he was holding onto dear life, all the flashbacks of the old beatings, the new beatings, his mother ignoring him as she shot up anything she got from fucking or sucking some dude causing the motherly contact of a child was never there. 

"I got you, I promise" San whispered softly, "I got you for now on"