Stains Of The Past (Ateez, Woosan)

6

The next day was all sore and more confusing feelings for both boys. San was in the abandoned classroom taking another swig from his flask letting the burning sensation consume his throat and mind, letting go of his feelings again by doing what he does best. 

He couldn’t understand why he feels things when he’s around Woo or around the places that they used to hang around but he doesn’t like the feeling at all. He’s unfamiliar with the feeling of emotions or any reactions at all. He was like a robot that was programed to just walk around and be there in the background. 

Woo was sore mentally, physically, and emotionally since yesterday all he could think of was San and not the younger San but the one that makes his life a living hell he couldn't tell if he was losing his mind for liking him still even after he made him jump off the schools rooftop. 

Maybe he was losing his mind but it’s better than feeling like a walking corpse all day everyday. Woo would remember his childhood memories with San all the adventures they went on with their little child minds. 

Woo would always have a bright smile on his face even after if he just got out of a beating from his parents, that big bright smile never left his face when he was around San, but when he came out as gay to him his smile never came back around him or anyone. 

But today was different he had the brightest smile on his face that hasn’t been there for years, it felt nice for Woo to smile a real smile after so long. It felt abnormal to Woo but he couldn’t feel any better than what he was feeling. 

It was like his whole life changed overnight but deep down he knew it didn’t but it doesn’t hurt to pretend. Woo walked back downstairs walking around skipping gym not really caring if he gets in trouble by anyone. 

Woo walked down the long empty halls filled with different classrooms filled with kids hoping to find something to do with their pathetic useless little lives, Woo smiled at the fact that the lower classmates are spending their lives with smiles and carfree ideas and actions.  

Woo heard someone talking inside the abandoned classroom,he thought he was the only one who knew about the classroom, he packed his head in the room to see San talking or singing to himself “ miss you, When I say that,I miss you more,Even though I’m looking at your photo,I still miss you,Time is so cruel,

I hate how things go between us” Woo’s mind stopped when he heard San’s voice. 

It reminded Woo when they were in middle school and San would Sing to him when he was crying, and it was the same song that he would always sing to him… Spring day.. San’s mother before she wasn’t home all the time she would sing that to him and it calmed him down and ironically it also helped Woo calm down as well.

‘It’s all winter here, Even in August, it’s all winter here Time is gone by mind Like a snowpiercer, I was left alone I wanna hold your hand And go to the other side of the earth Wanna put an end this winter How much do I have to long for you like snow piles up on the ground Until the spring days come?Friend” Woo eyes watered a bit listening to San sing Spring day again, his voice made Woo’s heartache in pain and love. 

San continued to sing with quiet tears going down his face as he was looking at a picture of his mother, today was her birthday. San was her early birthday gift when she was pregnant with San because in week away is San’s birthday. He would smile when his mother called him her little present from god. 

But now San’s mother doesn’t even call him anymore, say I love you, or that he’s her present from god. And it kills San every year,knowing his parents don’t care about him, or anyone. He was alone in this enormous world filled with billions of people, but he was all alone every day, hour, minute, second on this earth. All he wanted was to be loved by someone, anyone he didn’t care as long as one person cared about him.