The Navigator

A Million Thoughts

When Vistial woke, it was dark. Climbing out of bed, she walks to her balcony. She hears laughter and voices, spying the Company camping out in a pavilion. A certain dark-haired dwarf catches her eye and Vistial feels her heart flutter as she watches Kili laugh when a table collapses under Bombur. Vistial leaves her room, going to the only place in Rivendelll she could find some peace. Entering the garden, Vistial looks up at the stars.

"Mum, if you can hear me, help me figure out what this feeling means. Every time I'm around him, I feel at a loss of words and I can't focus on anything but him. What does this mean?" Vistial gazes at the stars a moment more before she began to sing.

A million thoughts in my head
Should I let my heart keep listening?
'Cause up 'til now I've walked the line
Nothing lost but something missing

I can't decide
What's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go?

As she finished the verse, Vistial begins to dance. She lets the song take over her body as she continues to sing.

If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh, yeah
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only
If only
If only

Every step, every word
With every hour I am falling in
To something new, something brave
To someone I, I have never been

I can't decide
What's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go?

If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh, yeah
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only
Yeah

Am I crazy? Maybe we could happen
Yeah
Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out?

If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh

If only, yeah
If only, yeah
If only, yeah
If only, yeah

If only
If only

She was unaware of her silent audience. Kili had heard a voice singing and went to investigate. Upon finding Vistial, he had decided to quietly watch as the girl dance. He wasn't a huge fan of Lindir, but the elf was right about one thing. Vistial could dance marvelously. He quietly leaves as Vistial finishes, breathing heavily. Tears had fallen from her eyes during her dance, and her whole body trembled from exertion, but she felt better.

Vistial quickly makes her way back to her room, wiping the tears away. Moments after she closes the door behind herself, she hears a soft knock. Opening the door, she looks down to see Dwalin.

"We're leaving, lass. Grab your things." The dwarf says. Vistial nods, but as Dwalin begins to leave, she calls him back.

"I wanted to apologize for leaving that way. I know you didn't mean it, I just..."

"I understand, lass." Dwalin says with a kind smile. "It takes a lot for a girl like you to reach the point where you are. I didn't mean to offend you. I hope you can forgive me."

"I'll always forgive you, Dwalin." Vistial replies, smiling. "After all, you saved me from falling into that river." The dwarf smiles and nods before leaving. Vistial turns to her room and starts to gather her things.

This was going to be a long journey.