In The Name Of Love

Chapter 20

I wanted to tell myself that there was an easy way to tell Mircea. There wasn't. Either I was going to do the right thing and tell him and explain it to him, or I was going to be a coward, claim I was too ill to go to the children's centre tomorrow, write a note and run away. It wasn't much of a choice.

I took my time drying off and pulling my dressing gown on. But when I walked out of the bathroom I was ready. I was ready to keep it to myself until the end of the tour and we were back at the palace and I could tell him in private.

I walked into the bedroom.

And he knew. He just knew. As soon as he saw me he knew. I could see it in his eyes that he knew and I'd just broken his heart and that he'd always love me, but he understood. That he'd half expected it.

"I'm so sorry," I said.

He crossed the room and pulled me into his arms. Again I thought I should push him away, but I couldn't. "Was it something I did?" he asked, his voice ready to break.

"No. No, you... I really thought I could do this. And I want to be here for you and support you but... I've got Roy to think about and..."

"I know," he whispered and began to cry.

The door opened but I didn't take any notice of it or the brief conversation that was had.

* * * * *

When morning came around and Mircea gently woke me I knew that sharing a bed with him had been a bad idea. Neither of us had wanted to say goodbye so soon though.

He was wearing black. I wanted to tell him it wasn't like I'd died or anything, but it kind of felt like I had.

"There's a private jet waiting for you in Bucharest. It can get you as far as London before you need to stop for fuel," he said. "The train's going to take you back once we're off."

"I can go by pub –"

"Wyn, please," he said tremulously.

I nodded, looking to the bed, forcing myself to not cry. "I want to get off the plane in London. I'll get the train back from there."

"Ok. You'll need this."

He put something in my hands. It was a Romanian passport.

"I won't be coming back, Mircea," I said looking up to him.

"It's a gift."

I smiled. "You've already given me too many. Thank you... You're going to be ok, you know. It's going to be hard and you're going to be scared. But you're going to be ok. And when your turn comes, I know you'll be a good king."

Tears fell from his eyes. "Thank you. I'll let you get home before I let everyone know."

I nodded. He kissed my forehead and then walked out of the bedroom. I bowed my head determined not to cry until the train was moving again. It seemed to take forever but I knew it was probably only a couple of minutes because the engines didn't get turned off. As soon as the train began to move that was it. I knew I'd never see him again.

"I love you. Good bye."

* * * * *

When I finished crying we were only about half an hour out from Bucharest. I was wearing Mircea's Buckingham Palace hoodie, had hidden my suitcase in the room I knew Dorina slept in with a note asking her to either keep or donate the clothes. I didn't need any of them anymore.

I felt empty and too light. I felt like I might float away never to be seen again. Hollow. That was it. I was hollow, never to be filled again no matter how much warmth and love anyone might give me.