Jack and the guys walk over to listen in, standing close to the wall so they don't see them.
"Don't speak, just listen. Today I have put so many nails in those boards imagining it was your face, I hurt you in my mind over and over again today and I thought if I did that, if I hurt you in my mind that my pain would go away but it didn't, it made it worse Ryan.
Every time I see you, I just want to hurt you the way you hurt me but nothing I do to you can even begin to be the same amount of pain I'm in.
You are the first guy in a long time I opened up to and loved, I loved you so damn much I went out and bought a ring like a fucking fool.
I wanted to spend everyday and night with you by my side as my husband, I wanted to have a family with you, I wanted to watch our children grow up and get married and start their own family. I wanted to grow old with you, I wanted to have a life with you. Do you notice the one word that is common with all that?"
"Wanted." Ryan whispers.
"Yes exactly, wanted as in I don't want that anymore, instead I want you to hurt for the rest of your life, I want you to think about me and think about last night when you heard and saw me, when you heard how much pain you put me though and saw the pain in my face and eyes. I want you to regret ever hurting me and I want you to know I am going to be the one that got away, I want you to realize what a mistake it was for you to hurt me like you did. I could have given you the world, I would have done everything I could to make you happy and I thought I did, I thought I made you happy.
You told me you loved me, you made me fall in love with you so easy. God it was so easy to fall in love with your laugh, your smile, your eyes, your touch, your kiss, your heart and your soul. It was so easy to let my guard down around you and to let you in, I let you love me like you asked me to do. I let you make love me to in the way I was craving and let you love me, I let you love me." Ethan said as tears fall form his eyes. Ryan stands there and tries to reach for Ethan.
"Don't touch me, if you touch me right now, I am going to break even more. After the hell you know I went though, after everything I have been through and after you promising me that you would never hurt me, why did you, with Jacob of all people? Why would you do that to me? I thought you loved me Ryan, I thought you wanted to be together just as much as I did.
You wanted me to wait for you and I fucking bought you a ring, me the one person who is scared as hell to fall in love and open myself up. I fell in love with you and wanted to spend my life with you. You have no idea how much pain I am in right now, you have no idea how much I want to just beat the living hell out of you for causing me this much pain, want to know the worst part? Alan never hurt me as much as you did." With that Ethan turns around and leaves Ryan standing there.
Ryan felt his heart shatter at Ethan's words. He falls to the ground and just cries, not for himself but for the pain he has caused Ethan.
When Ethan turned the corner, he saw Jack and the guys standing there and gasped.
"God damn it guys you scared the hell out of me." Ethan said putting his hand on his heart.
"I'm sorry, we didn't mean to."
"What are you doing here?" Ethan asked.
"Well we wanted to hear what you had to say, I know I shouldn't have listened as it was a private conversation, but I couldn't help myself. I told Ryan to go back when he showed up earlier, I told him it wasn't a good idea to be around you yet. He didn't listen." Ethan nods and starts walking away.
Jack walks beside him. "I see what you mean by your words can hurt him more than hitting him. He looked hurt."
"Like I care if he is fucking hurt Jack?!" Ethan yelled.
YOU ARE READING
Guarded Heart
عاطفيةEthan has had a good life for the most part. He was a business owner and he worked for his family's company, what life has in store for him, no one could even imagine. He goes through a lot with his ex Alex, and a few new men in his life. Read more...
