Second Chance

Second Chance Part 2

"How was your first day back?" My mom asks as we get seated at the Mexican restaurant. "It was okay." I say shoving my mouth full of chips. "Were things... better?" She asks. I look up at her annoyed. I know my mom is just worried about me, but she is going to have to come to terms with the fact that I don't want to discuss everything with her. "I don't really know how to answer that." I say flatly hoping she picks up on my mood. "Did you tell any of your friends the truth about this summer?" I close my eyes and tilt my head back in the booth. I would not have agreed to this dinner if I had known this was going to be a grill session. "Can we not do this right now? "I ask annoyed. "Kennedy, I have tried my best to give you your space, but come on you have to give me something to work with here. We can't keep pretending like this summer didn't happen." She says getting emotional. I look away. I cannot stand to see my mom cry. It's so pitiful, it always makes me automatically tear up. I clear my throat. "You may not be able to move on and act like it didn't happen, but it is exactly what I plan on doing. It is my story to tell and I have the right not to share it with anyone." I say matter of factly. I look over at my mom, I can tell she is trying to bat tears away. She always starts blinking really rapidly when she is trying to avoid allowing a tear to drop down her face. I get a lump in my throat and I can feel my heart rate pick up. "Please mom, I know that you feel like I am icing you out. That isn't my intention, but I spent all summer talking about things and I just don't feel like reliving it. Maybe one day I will get to the point where we can openly discuss things, but right now I'm just not there." I say trying to lose my attitude. I have a bad habit of putting blame on my mom where it doesn't belong. Sometimes when you are so angry you just have to find something or someone to direct it towards. "I can respect that. I just don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me about things. I will always be on your side, I will always be your secret keeper, your champion. You will always have me no matter what, and you can tell me anything, even if it's not what I want to hear." She say. She extends her hand across the table to me. I take her hand and give it a little squeeze. "Now lets hear all about your first day." Mom says changing the subject.

Dinner ended up going smoothly, I told her about all my classes, the pep rally routine, some small town gossip, all the things we used to talk about together. For a moment it almost felt like this summer never happened. It felt like we picked up right where we left off. It felt nice. Before this summer my mom was my absolute best friend, and I still hold out hope, that with time we will be able to get there again. As soon as I got home and laid down on my bed, my mind started racing. I started thinking about how I had flaked on my friends. I started thinking about how everything I tell them tomorrow about my summer will be a lie. I started thinking about how unfairly I'm treating my mother when all she is trying to do is help me. And unfortunately I even start thinking about Max. I haven't had the best luck when it comes to love, that is for sure, but just from the brief conversation I had with Max I can feel in my soul he is different. I don't know if I believe in soul mates or anything of the sorts, but I just can't shake the feeling we are destined for each other. Whether romantically or just friends. My thoughts are interrupted by my phone buzzing. I pick it up expecting it to be from my group chat, but instead it is an unknown number. "Hi Kennedy, Max here." It reads. A smile creeps on my face. "Hi there Max, you have successfully reached Kennedy" I send back. I have a very dry sense of humor, so I feel it is better to see if right off the bat he responds or shrugs it off. "Jack Pot! How is the lovely lady?" He sends with a winky face. Now I'm full on cheezing. "She's alright, she feels like a stuffed burrito after eating Arroz Con Pollo." I send trying to avoid direct flirting. "She sounds delicious, you know Mexican food happens to be my favorite." He replies. "You just don't give up do you?" I send back. "I can say with 100% certainty I do not. Do you think you will talk to me tomorrow in first block?" He sends shying away from blatant flirting. "I think I can manage that. Also I just want to point out, I do not remember you being in my first block at all, how on earth did I miss your ice breaker?" I ask trying to rack my brain. I know I half listen to people's ice breakers, but I don't know another Max, so his name alone should have been enough to sound some alarms in my head. "No one listens to ice breakers." he replies. "Maybe not guys, but I do. I can't imagine I would've missed someone like you." I reply subtly throwing him a bone. "It's probably because I went along with the stereotypical fun fact of I like sports." As soon as I read this I giggle to myself. He is one of those guys. "I unfortunately have to break it to you then, that our friendship has began and ended in the same day. I simply cannot be friends with someone who's fun fact was I like sports." I reply playfully. "Oh yeah, well what was your fun fact miss original?" He sends. "My fun fact was I like musicals." He sends back "..."."What is that ellipses for?" I reply. "The fact that you just called ... by its actual term is sickening and I like musicals? Really that is a fun fact? Half of the world likes musicals thanks to Hamilton." He replies. The more we text the more attracted to him I become. He is quick on his feet and snarky like me. I like a guy who can dish it out as much as he can take it. "Okay while Hamilton will forever be a  love for me, how rude, let me have my teenage angst." I send. "Fine, but just go to sleep tonight knowing you gave the female equivalent of I like sports as your fun fact." I start typing a response when he sends me another message. "You're really funny." He sends. He is already giving me the big head and we just met. "How do you know if I'm funny or not, this is the first time we've ever talked." "I just know it, you have a dry sense of humor, I'm like that too." I try to shrug this off. The more I get to know him the more boxes he will continue to check off. "I'm glad you appreciate it, it's typically a turn off for most people." I reply. "I don't know why, you're witty, I think that's pretty hot." He replies back. I bite my lips and start feeling that familiar flutter. Stop it Kennedy, keep it together. You know you cannot have a boyfriend right now. Starting a new relationship could derail everything you've worked so hard on this summer. I decide to disregard his comment for my own good. "So, where did you transfer from?" I send hoping to put the attention back on him. "From Rockwell, I'm not sure if you've ever heard of it or not, its about an hour and a half away." He sends. "Yeah I have, I used to play travel soccer up that way a couple of years ago." I reply. "No way! I did too, what team were you on?" "I played for the Fury, you?" I reply immediately. "Bears! We played you guys for the championship! We would've won too if it hadn't been for the forward you guys had, she was your only good player." I laugh to myself before replying. "I'm glad to know I was the star of the team." He sends me a gif of a baby gasping followed by: "No way, you are the little girl with the pony tail?" He asks. Its funny to hear him describe me like that, the blonde girl with the pony tail. "In the flesh." I reply. "That is insane, what a small world. Do you still play  soccer?" He asks. "I don't, I gave it up after that year. I decided I wanted to do competitive cheerleading so I had to make a choice. I haven't even thought about soccer in the longest time." I send. Soccer was my first love in life. I started playing soccer as soon as I could walk. It started out in rec league, but after I got in kindergarten  I started playing on travel teams. If I could've played soccer every day I would have. I ended up getting really good. When I was in the sixth grade I made a junior elite soccer team, we traveled all over the east coast to play in tournaments. I gave soccer up when I was in the eighth grade. My middle school had a competitive cheerleading team and there was no way I would have had time to dedicate myself to elite soccer as well as competitive cheerleading. I went with the only thing that made sense to me at the time. Cheerleading. It was the cool and flashy thing to do. It was what every girl in school wanted to do. I can say honestly now I let peer pressure get the best of me. Soccer was always my number one passion. Don't get me wrong I love cheerleading so much and it would break my heart to give it up, but I should've tried harder to still do both, even if I had to stop playing at such a high level. "Kennedy, you should try and get back into it, I know I didn't know you then obviously, but you were the best player in the league hands down. Everyone used to talk about how you would definitely get to play college ball somewhere. I can tell from today you are a great cheerleader, but lets face it you don't get college scholarships for cheerleading." He replies. I know he didn't mean this text any way but supportive, but for some reason it strikes a nerve with me. "Some people get cheerleading scholarships, but they are definitely few and far between which is extremely sad and disheartening considering all the hard work we put into the sport." I snap back. "I totally agree, my older sister used to cheer and she would come home dog tired with bruises all over her, and hell I feel certain she could've bench pressed more than I could ever dream of." I fall back on my bed. Unbelievable. He is literally saying everything I want to hear. I can't deny how perfect all of this is starting to feel. "I'm surprised you feel like that, most guys don't. Our cheer team doesn't get a lot of respect from the rest of the school. We won state last year and the only fans in the bleachers were our parents. When we got back and had our state ring ceremony it was merely a blip on the morning news." I reply. "That sucks, you know if it had been the football team they would've rolled out the red carpet for them as soon as they got back from the game." I smile. It feels good to be able to talk about this stuff. My ex would always shut me down when I tried to talk about cheerleading. He would go on about how ridiculous and trivial it was to think about things so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. "Exactly." I reply. I start to type more but I don't want to go on an hour tirade about the unfairness of high school hierarchy. "How am I doing?" He replies. I knit my brows together trying to decode his message before replying. "What do you mean?" I finally reply. "Am I winning you over yet?" He asks. I can't help but to roll my eyes. I send back a gif of one of the Kardashians gagging. "Awh come on, that bad?" He replies. "Jury is still out, I guess we will have to see how you do." I reply leaning into flirting. "I'll take the victory." He replies. "And what victory would that be?" I send confused. "You want to keep talking to me, and that is a win considering you tried to give me the third degree at the tennis courts earlier today. I'm going to quit while I'm ahead so I don't push my luck. Talk to you tomorrow sunshine." He sends. I lay back on my bed staring at my ceiling. He is so easy. We just met today for the first time ever and I already feel an unexplainable connection with him. The old Kennedy would be hard core flirting with him trying everything I could to land the boy, but I can't afford to think like that anymore. There are so many other things to consider than what makes me happy in one moment. I know in my heart I'm not ready for a boyfriend. I'm not willing to jeopardize everything I've worked so hard for. I know all of these things to be true, but I also know my heart hasn't stopped pounding since laying eyes on him this afternoon.