Second Chance

Second Chance Part 18

"How are you this morning?" Max asks as I get out of my car. This weekend has been one of the most eventful weekends of my life. It was a rollercoaster of emotions for sure. I didn't see Max yesterday, mom really wanted us to spend some quality time together, which was a lot nicer than I had expected. I didn't tell her I told Max. I know she would've been really happy, but I don't want her to pressure me into telling my friends. I love them more than anything and I know I can trust them, I just don't really want to go through it again. Max handled it well and I don't really want to tempt fate twice. "Earth to Kennedy." Max jokes. "Sorry, I was just thinking about my Biology test." I lie. "I'm pretty good, how are you?" I ask. Max wraps his arm around me as we start walking down the main hallway. Less and less people stare at Max and I each day, there are still a couple of jealous girls who shoot us dirty looks, and of course there are friends of Brady's who scoff every time they see us, but it doesn't bother me anymore. "I'm fantastic, I missed your face." He says. I grin to myself. He's so cheesy sometimes. "So, this Friday is our off week, which I'm sure you are aware of, so I was wondering if maybe you would want to go with me to watch my old school this Friday? It's their homecoming and I haven't seen any of my friends since I moved." The thought of driving over an hour away to watch a football game with a bunch of kids I don't know sounds absolutely repulsing. If anyone else were asking I would give them a stern no, but it's Max and he's my weak spot. "That sounds like fun." I say forcing a smile. I'm sure once we are there it will be fun, but I can't help but to feel a little sick at my stomach thinking about. It will be a night filled with introductions, small talk, and fake laughs. I hate to be so blunt about it, but it's exactly how it will go. Also I will be meeting people who know about Peter. People who probably contributed to Peter's problem. What will I do if I see Zach? I know I don't know what he looks like, but Max could point him out to me easily. "I can see the look in your eyes. Don't panic, if it gets to be too much we can totally ditch and go get a bite to eat." He says grabbing my hand. I feel relieved, and then guilty. I'm already disrupting Max's life. He hasn't seen his friends, and he is excited for me to meet them, and I'm probably going to ruin it. "No it will be fine." I say trying to convince myself. I can't be selfish. Just because Max knows doesn't give me a right to mess up his life. I need to try and be normal. I don't care how good of a person Max is, there is no way he wants to have to babysit his girlfriend or be on suicide watch. "Okay, if you say so." He smiles. I can tell he's excited. I'm going to try and be excited too, I just have to get this knot out of throat first. 

"How are you feeling?" Luke asks. I almost forgot I had told them I didn't feel good. The worst part about lying is trying to keep all of your lies straight. It's exhausting. "Good, I think it was just something I ate." I lie. Max gives me a sideways glance. I hate lying, especially in front of him. It's a bad look for sure, but in no way shape or form am I ready to tell Luke Parker the truth about me. "Good, we missed you guys. We definitely need to hang out again." He says to both Max and I. "Well, if you guys aren't doing anything, this Friday Kennedy and I are going to my old schools homecoming game, you guys should come!" He says. I shoot him a look. He looks back at me confused. I don't know why I'm irritated he invited other people. If anything it should make me feel more comfortable to have Noel and Luke there. I guess it just makes it less important. He's not just taking his girlfriend to meet his friends, he's bringing a whole group. "I'll have to check with Noel, but sounds good to me." He says. "Sorry." Max whispers to me. I smile and shake my head. I've got to keep my emotions in check. There is no reason I should've gotten upset over it. Just me overreacting. 

"I heard practice is going to be grueling today." Ari says as she sets down on the locker room bench. "I kind of figured, we haven't worked on our homecoming routine much and it's next week." I say. I'm usually excited for practice, but today I just want to go home and take a nap. Nothing happened, I'm just having a bad mental day. I would never tell Max because he would just cancel Friday, but it's all I can think about. I don't have anyone else I can talk to about it either. I don't want to involve Peter, at least not right now, and none of my friends would understand why I care. These are the only times I wish they knew. When I need to talk. I know I could call up my therapist or even one of my counselors from rehab, but I feel like it's too small of an issue to bother them with. I may talk to my mom about it. Although then all she will do is worry on Friday the entire time I'm gone. I don't want to put that on her. "You okay today?" Ari asks. I must have zoned out again. "Yeah I'm sorry, just have a lot on my mind." I admit. Ari cocks her head confused. "Everything okay?" She asks resting her hand on my knee. "Yeah, it's nothing really." I lie. She smiles half-heartedly. "If you want to talk about it, you know I'm here for you." She says squeezing my leg. I wrap her in a hug. We aren't really the type of friends who hug, but right now I just really need one.