Glitches

Chapter 11 - Sam's secret

After about 5 minutes, Sam suddenly stopped in his tracks, making me almost bump into him.

"Are we here?" I asked.

"Yes."

With a troubled movement he turned his body, making me face him. He looked me in the eyes – even though I could hardly see his face – and nodded his head down, motioning to the grid right under his head. I could see a door through the grate. I didn't know what I had expected. Maybe some high security door with two buff guards in front of it, like I had seen at the main entrance. But the door I was looking at right now could just as well had been in a normal boring flat. It was white, just like the rest of the building, and the doorknob was painted in an ordinary orange colour.

"So, this is the entrance to the monitoring room?" I asked, not needing to be answered.

"Yep," Sam clarified, popping the 'P'. "Not a delight for the eye, but it seems easy to break."

"Yeah..." I agreed. "But I highly doubt that the people inside of it is just as easy."

"You're so negative Steph," he sighed.

It shocked me a little that he called me 'Steph'. It made me think of Eve. Sam seemed to notice, because his face immediately fell.

"Are you okay?" he asked in concern.

I blinked a few times and shook my head. "Yeah; yeah... It's just, only my friends call me things like Steph."

"And am I not your friend?" he asked in a dramatically hurt voice. "You really hurt my feelings Steph."

He actually managed to lighten my mood a bit by his silly behaviour, and I gave him a weak smile.

"I didn't mean it that way. Of course, you're my friend. It's just that Eve always gave me nicknames, and I am kind of worried about her. I just left to this place without telling her. And I am afraid that she might hate me now," I sight. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, but as I tried to wipe them away, Sam gently grabbed my wrist.

"Hey..." he said in a soft voice, "you know it's okay to cry sometimes, right?"

I didn't answer, but he continued.

"Because if you never cry, you will eventually break down. And if you never share your fears and weaknesses, then they will start to eat you up. You can't be strong every minute of your life Stephanie. No one can. And as soon as you accept that, life become easier. Trust me."

He let go of my hand, and I slowly pull it back. For a brief moment I wondered why I even shared this with him. It wasn't like me to get all soft and poetic with people I barely knew. Maybe it was because of the lack of light that gave me a feeling of anonymity.

Or maybe it was Sam's calm aura that made me trust him very easily.

But whatever it was, it did feel nice to tell someone about my worries.

"Thanks..." I sniffled.

"You're welcome. I'm always here to listen, you know. Well unless we die. Then I can't help you," he joked weakly.

I hummed a faint giggle and wiped my nose with the back of my right hand.

"Do you have someone you miss?"

Sam's expression hardened. "Let's just say that my backstory isn't a fairy tale," he said flatly, while looking into a void. I could almost see the horrors flashing before his eyes. He scrunched up his face as if he tried to push away the terror from the past I didn't know about, though I deeply wanted to.

"But aren't your..." I stopped not quietly sure how to describe it.

"Just say parents. I know what you mean," Sam helped.

"Yeah. Parents," I huffed, "aren't they a part of this organisation? A part of RTI? Didn't you see them in the crowd?"

"I saw them. Or rather, I saw him." Sam seemed to struggle with the last word, as if it was poison in his mouth. He took a deep trembling breath and slowly continued.

"Yes. I had one of Alan's engineers to watch over me and being my..." Sam stopped, jaw clenched, clearly not wanting to finish his sentence. "You know what I mean," he finally managed to say, before continuing. "But just because our parents work for the same people, it doesn't mean that they both are nice human beings."

"But..."

"Stop!" he gave me a serious look.

"Listen. I don't want to talk about it okay?"

"Sorry." I hang my head down in defeat.

Sam's face softened.

"Hey. I don't want you to feel either pity or guilt for me okay? I'm fine."

I nodded slowly, but I still felt an urge to know about the memories that seemed to be haunting this boy.

"But as I said before. I'm always here to listen to your problems," Sam said, giving me a sad smile, "but I warn you. I am terrible at giving advices about boyfriends or girlfriends and stuff like that."

He managed to let out a forced chuckle.

"How do you feel about this," I blurted out.

Sam frowned and gave me a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

"How do you feel about..." I trailed off, "being a robot." The last word didn't come out like more than a whisper. It felt weird actually saying it out loud. As if I hadn't truly let it sink in. But when I said it, it felt weird in my mouth. Like it didn't belong there.

"I think android is more accurate," Sam corrected. "But how I feel about it? I don't know. Fine I guess," he shrugged.

Now it was my turn to frown.

"How can you be fine, knowing that you aren't a real person? Knowing that your life is fake?" I asked in confusion.

"I guess I always knew something was wrong," he said, with a thoughtful face. "And just because I'm made of metal, it doesn't mean that I am less a person than others."

"But your thoughts aren't even real. I mean, your brain is not any different from a computer."

I looked him directly in the eyes, as if I could find the answers in them if I looked long enough.

He made a faint giggle.

"But aren't normal brains the same? A human brain is neither any different from a computer."

But the knot in my chest didn't loose, and my head hung low.

"Listen to me," he said seriously," we are what we feel we are, okay? And you can't let people like them tell you that you are something you aren't. I don't see you as a simple machine, and you shouldn't either."

And by the sound of Sam's words, a feeling of reassuring spread in my veins, as if everything was going to be alright.

"Yeah, you're probably right..."

"Of course, I'm right. I always am," he smirked.

"Sure..." I managed to punch him playfully on the arm with a smile on my face.

"Look, she's smiling!" Sam exclaimed, giving me a genuine happy smile.

"She is," I smiled back, feeling much better than before.