Glitches

Chapter 34 - If defeat had a face

Eve was sitting in the corner, her back facing me while she was doing something with her arm.

"Shit!" she screamed, making me flinch.

The volume of her voice felt unnatural. As if it was somebody else's. It was so intense and stood in complete contrast to her frail shivering body.

She hadn't noticed me yet. I used it to my advantage, and slowly I walked closer, trying to get a better look at her. Her blond hair was a big mess, full of knots and tangles.

Her face was still beautiful, but it had lost its former joy. Instead, it had been replaced with complete hopelessness and anger.

She was sitting with a screwdriver in her right hand. I wondered for a moment how she had managed to get it with her in there. And she kept squeezing it inside of a big hole in her arm with violent blows, while cursing unintelligible words.

I couldn't bear seeing my friend like that. She was lost. She was broken. And in a way that it didn't seem like anyone would be able to mend her together again.

Slowly walking closer, I tried to figure out how I should talk to her. This wasn't the same old Eve, who made jokes about everything and everyone. I couldn't just throw a sarcastic comment or give her a playful punch on the shoulder. So, I decided to take things slow.

When I was close enough, I slowly kneeled beside her. I gently laid my hand on her shoulder, making her turn her head rapidly. Her face was stern, but the second she recognised me it filled with disbelieve, and she dropped the screwdriver. I could tell she had cried. Her nose was red, and her eyes were still puffy and glossy from the tears.

"Hey Eve," I said in a low voice, giving her a sad smile.

I didn't take my hand off her shoulder, but I didn't make any other movements either, afraid that she might snap.

"It's you..." she whispered dumbfounded, while showing her left hand to my cheek, slowly brushing it with her thumb, as to make sure that I was real.

"It's you...," she repeated, her voice cracking in the end.

My heart ached for her, and it took all my strength not to cry.

"It's me. I'm right here Eve, and I'm not leaving you."

Eve quickly moved her hand from my cheek to my wrist, holding it with in a tight grip, and her eyes widened.

"No..." she said in a trembling voice, eyes filled with panic, "no, no, no, no!"

She shook her head violently.

"You can't stay! YOU CAN'T!"

I flinched by her scream, making me drop my hand from her shoulder. I tried to yank my wrist free from her grasp, while looking at her with terror. But Eve didn't let go, and she quickly continued.

"THEY'RE MANIPULATING YOU! MAKING YOU DO THINGS DO DON'T WANT TO! THEY SAY THAT WE'RE MAKING OUR OWN CHOICES, BUT WE'RE NOT! THEY'RE USING US!" she screeched at the top of her lungs.

Suddenly, she let go of my wrist, and began sobbing uncontrollably into her hands.

I could clearly see that Eve had become unstable and impulsive. If I thought that Alans mood swings were bad, Eve's were horrible. And her emotional state and behaviour scared me.

What made the difference between her and Alan, was the way her mood switched. Alan's change of mood seemed more natural, more human. They seemed to just be a part of his personality. But Eve's mood changes was unpredictable and far from her normal behaviour, and they seemed glitchy.