A Lonesome Fragrance Waiting to be Appreciated 3

2

"What do we do now? Use acupuncture or medicine?" Zuiju tried to think of radical ways. "He Xia's presence made us unable to take any action easily, so we don't know the situation outside at all...why not do this, I'll check the arrangement of the guards around the Prince Consort Residence as well as the roads outside. Sigh, if only we had a map of Yun Chang's city. Perhaps there'd be a map in He Xia's office? Why don't we..."

"No need." Pingting softly said these two words.

Zuiju didn't understand. "No need?"

"No need to waste our own energy."

"We don't have much time. If we don't quickly use this chance to escape, then you..." Zuiju looked left and right warily, lowering her voice, "They'll see your stomach."

Pingting looked down at her stomach that had yet to protrude. It brought back the gentle sense of motherhood. She couldn't help but softly stroke it before saying to Zuiju, "How do you think the Princess of Yun Chang treats He Xia?"

Zuiju knew that Pingting's question was not an easy one. She thought carefully, before replying, "I peeked out a few times when she came last time. She is very beautiful and suits He Xia. From what I see, she really cares about He Xia."

"Indeed, she does." Pingting nodded, "Ever since that time, I have never seen that Princess again as if she has forgotten my existence."

Zuiju seemed to connect the clues but asked anyway, "Why suddenly mention her if it seems the two are unconnected?"

Pingting slowly shifted her gaze towards the ceiling. Her voice was brief and light, "The arrow has been clipped onto the string, drawn but not fired. It's not that one doesn't want to fire it but waiting for an appropriate time. The more she appears to not care about an existence, the more she actually cares."

"She was waiting for He Xia to leave?" Zuiju lowered head and thought, realisation suddenly coming to her. "A wife's jealousy is the most poisonous, not to mention that she is a princess. What if she decides to kill you while He Xia is away?"

Pingting confidently shook her head. "Even amongst jealous wives, there are stupid ones and clever ones. Yaotian is the Princess of Yun Chang who chose He Xia who had nothing apart from a worthless title from a foreign country out of all of her more familiar soldiers. She is undoubtedly not a foolish woman. She knows very well that He Xia painstakingly brought me here and cherishes me. If she were to direct my death, then their relationship as husband and wife is over. Not to mention, if I died, He Xia may temporarily refrain from attacking her, seeing that she is a Princess. But Chu..." She realised what she was going to say and abruptly stopped as the name almost came out of her lips. Pingting's expression changed and she angrily closed her lips.

Zuiju had already understood her meaning anyway and continued the rest. "The Duke wouldn't let her go." She slowly sighed before saying, "The Duke has definitely gone against the King's orders this time and decided to send troops to attack Yun Chang no matter what. That's...still...giving up everything for you."

"Don't say any more." Pingting suddenly stood up. She had intended to walk out but seemed to change her mind for some reason. She stood with her back to Zuiju, whispering, "What has our relationship have to do with soldiers? All of the blood spilled and the loss of human life in this upcoming battle between Dong Lin and Yun Chang are all the results of the sins between him and me."

Zuiju sighed, upset and exasperated. "What on earth do you want to Duke to do then? What can the Duke even do?"

Pingting's back seemed to stiffen at her words, slowly dragging out her words. "I don't want anything and he doesn't need to do anything."

"Miss..."

"Who was the one who swore to the other to always be together? Who said Bai Pingting couldn't leave both the House of Jing-An or Chu Beijie?" Pingting cut off her words, her tone becoming very harsh. "I had been taught by the Duke and Duchess to be loyal, love your country, uphold your values and protect the moral good. What good has it done? People have to hold onto values and protect the moral good but can't they live for themselves just once."

She turned, looking towards the stunned Zuiju. She slowly said, "You all know that I am intelligent and know that intelligent people are always about reason, having reason in everything they do. Even if others are to ask a million whys, answers are always without flaw. Zuiju, I don't care how wronged your Duke is or has a reason as big as the sky to why he couldn't come back. I never want to hear his name again and never see his person either. I am not an official of the court and therefore not all of my decisions need to be logical to the end. I am a living person. Why should anyone else apart from me direct what I like and what I hate? I just want to live quietly with my child, is that wrong?"

Her voice was like a qin, clear and lingered in the silent room.

Zuiju couldn't answer with a single word.

The best of both worlds was never possible. Chu Beijie could only choose one and he had chosen to protect the Royal House, chosen to hurt Pingting.

Then, he might as well continue to protect the Royal House.

He might as well let Pingting go.

Even though it was a strained decision, it was still a decision.

Even though it was strained, it was still a door to hurt. How could one's heart not hurt with a wound?

Who was the one who swore to the other to always be together?

Bai Pingting was still a mere woman in the very end. Why should someone insist that she had to protect the moral good, uphold values and think for the best for the peasants of the country?

Even if an unreasonable man remained unreasonable for life, that in itself was perfectly reasonable. Yet it seemed the ones who were reasonable throughout their lives were blamed the most for just following their own heart for once.

The world was like that, more unreasonable than its people.

Seeing Pingting's tearstained face, Zuiju suddenly understood.

She still loved Chu Beijie.

Deeply loved him yet deeply despised him.

She despised Chu Beijie for not fulfiling his promise, hated that they shared the same life, forever controlled by their values and the moral good and helplessly punished for trying to escape from it.