LOVE CRAZE

ENOUGH

I started drowning in debts and losing my friendships one by one and my job was also on the line. I would always go to work late, leave early or even take 'sick leaves' just to be there for 'my man'. I see you judging already, and if you can relate... I am so sorry you ever had to go through something similar. As for my judging crew, shall we proceed?

Even without my phone, I found ways to reach out to Guy 2 and tried to 'fight for our relationship.' My actual wake up call happened when I started fighting with other girls over him after getting 'ownership' and threatening calls. He would appear and disappear in my life as he pleased and I didn't know his actual physical address. Oh, did I mention he also had two baby mamas and faked a chronic illness?!

*rolls eyes deeply*

I soon came to discover, through the girls I fought with, that he orchestrated it all to see how much I loved him.

**big sigh**

I will be honest with you, I loved this man and I was willing to do anything for him. What I would not do though, was drown in debt and die for a man..any man to be specific. 

I had had enough and I was going to put an end to it once and for all. I stopped picking his calls and blocked his contacts and started reevaluating myself. I wrote down all the debts I had and came up with a strategy of paying everyone back. I decided to take ownership of my life and it felt so good to be back.

Realizing that I had made up my mind, he stopped contacting me for a while and it was thrilling. I had vowed to never go through my childhood trauma and here I was reliving it in my relationship. Tired of it all, I moved back home.

These two relationships had one thing in common- Narcissism and a lot of manipulation. I learned my emotional lessons the hard way and would never wish such even on my worst enemy. I also discovered I was a very strong woman having gone through all that and managing to swim instead of drowning.

At this point, I was so done with relationships and had come to a complete analysis of what relationships are- Not for me!

I was so done with men and love and at this point, all I wanted was to re-drown myself in work and school, only this time I was graduating from campus.

Dear judges, what has been your verdict so far?

I don't understand what happened to guilt and shame but this sorry excuse of a human being has had the nerve to look for me over the years, including very recently. Tsk!