They say that every relationship takes a part of you and that I completely agree with. Guy 2 had left a bigger scar than anyone had in my life and I was so bitter for a while. I loathed men and I didn't want to imagine myself in another loving relationship with anyone. The emotional manipulation had taken a toll on my mental stability and I had developed a lot of self-doubts, losing my self-esteem.
I was no longer confident in myself and my trust issues had heightened to a very high barbed wall. Soaps were not my thing anymore and romantic movies & novels disgusted me. I had lost friends who I held dear and my relationship with a lot of people was tainted. How stupid could love really be?
I moved back home without giving my reasons and decided to enroll for my masters. My finances were biblically budgeted and articulated all with the aim of clearing my debts. I began a journey of self-discovery trying to know who I had grown and changed to be. I was more vulnerable to emotional things and I sank into depression. By now you probably want to hug me...or slap me, whichever it is, I don't care!
What I want you to help me understand is, Where did I go wrong? I understand where the two guys went wrong but what I don't get is, what made me fall for them and stick? Why them? Can you see something I am not? Help!
(This is not a self-blame situation but an understanding situation so don't get this twisted.)
Within a year, I was able to repay everyone and start afresh. Though I'd lost my friends, some of them stuck through it with me and we grew stronger. I finally got my small circle and got to know who I would run to when in trouble and they would come through for me. I got to learn things about myself that I never thought possible. My biggest lesson being, I LOATHE DRAMA! I also learned what I'm able to tolerate and things I'm unable to stand. I was no longer innocent, or a hopeless romantic. I just wanted to be by myself and avoid human contact.
My self-rediscovery journey became worth it and I decided to give myself time to heal and get a better understanding of who I was.
You've probably heard the phrase; 'hurt people, hurt people', and healing was my biggest priority.
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LOVE CRAZE
Short StoryMy desire for love keeps attracting me to the wrong men and I think I need help. I need to understand why my love life keeps complicating itself. I want to understand why I'm attracting the toxic kind of love. Dating is really not my thing and being...
