Avonlea High

Chapter 22

Anne
I left Diana's car seeing him standing at my doorstep. He was leaned against the pole picking under his nails. When he saw me I couldn't hold it in. I couldn't keep myself composed. Everything I had just put together in the car crumbled with one look. Diana's car rumbled away and I stepped quickly. His arms opened letting me crash into his chest. I was trembling in his arms. This was the scariest thing I had ever witnessed. My dear Matthew nearly died. He was on his way to and he didn't say a word to me about it. Didn't even bother to mention that it was a possibility.
Gilbert tried to comfort my thoughts and anger. He was sure that Matthew was just trying not to worry me. In truth it only makes me worry more about what he and Marilla aren't telling me.
"Did you know?" I asked. "Did Matthew say anything to you or something?"
"Anne I-"
"You knew," I said, pulling myself away from him.
"Marilla mentioned that Matthews' health was becoming challenging. I didn't know exactly what was going on. I promise you that Anne."
I couldn't even be mad at him. I leaned myself back into him.
"I was so worried," I said softly.
"I know."
I shut my eyes trying to settle the stirring in my head. It was less of a stirring than it was a tornado. Was I to trust Marilla and Matthews' words again? Do I need to go to Mrs.Lynde to start acquiring the gossip of my own family members. I didn't even know half the thoughts that were reveling in my head. My phone sounded, waking me from my drowning thoughts. Gilbert shifted as I grabbed my phone. It was from Matthew. He hasn't ever messaged me. He wasn't one for technology.

Come to the hospital please. We need to talk -Matthew

On our way -Anne

I pulled myself to my feet. Gilbert was startled. He asked what I was doing. I pulled on my shoes. He stood as I grabbed my jacket from the chair. Then blocking my way out the door. I held a pair of keys in my hand that I'd taken off the table. I didn't think twice about whose they were.
"Gilbert move."
"Where are you going?"
"Matthew asked me to the hospital."
"I'll drive."
"Gilbert."
"I'm driving. It's my car anyways," he pulled the key from my fingers.
"Fine."
He drove slowly. At least it felt like he was. He was really going the speed limit. But it didn't feel fast enough. He kept looking over at me. Almost as if he was continuing to check up on me. I kept my eyes forward best I could. I kept catching Gilbert staring at me. Even if I could feel his eyes on me anyways. It was instinctive to look at him.
He pulled into a parking spot and got out first. I took my time. I had to brace myself for whatever we needed to speak about. Matthew wasn't one for talks. And that's what scared me. And him texting me for the maybe second time, it didn't make it better. You would think getting a message from someone you love, who also almost died would be a good thing.
"What's going on in your head?" Gilbert asked, turning the music down.
"Too much."
"Elaborate," he requested.
"He is dying Gilbert. I-I can't lose Matthew," was all I could manage until I began to laugh morbidly . "I don't even know why I am even surprised."
"What are you talking about Anne?"
"Everyone I have ever cared about has either died or left me."
"I haven't-"
"Yeah, fucking except for you."
"It's going to be o-"
"Don't tell me it's going to be okay when you know it's not Gilbert. We both know this isn't going to change the fact that I'm losing who I considered my father."
Gilbert didn't say anything. God why was I being such a bitch to him. I was putting it on him. We sat in silence in the car. The hospital before us. I did want to run right to Matthew but I felt bad. I shifted and turned towards Gilbert. His eyes flicked up sadly.
"I'm sorry," I began. "I am upset and I'm taking it out on you. I-just- I'm sorry."
"Wanna go see him?"
"Please."
He shut the car off climbing out. I sat for a little longer. Long enough for him to come around the car and open the door for me. He opened his hand for me. I held it hesitantly walking slightly behind him. As much as I wanted to be right by Matthew's side, I knew when I was the inevitable future would appear. In the elevator my legs get shaky. The only thing grounding me is his hand gripping mine. Gilbert getting us visitor tags. He slapped his on & pressed mine on my shirt softly flattening the edges.
"You ready?"
"No," I said sharply. "But I have to be don't I?"
He led me down the hall toward the room. He stopped outside the hollow room. The one where an exhausted Matthew lied. It was silent there. All you could hear was the shallow beeping of the heart monitor. He had labored breaths like it was hard to function. I took a baby step back.
"Do you want me to go in with you?"
"Please?"
"Of course."
We walked in together. Matthew's heavy eyelids opened slowly as he tried to smile seeing us. I stepped up with Gilbert to the side of his bed. Matthew asked how we were and I didn't give a response. I don't have the words. Gilbert looked at me sadly as Matthew asked for the room with me. Gilbert planted a kiss on the side of my head before stepping out. Gilbert offered to get Matthew something small to eat. I stood frozen beside Matthew's bed.
"I know we should have told you Anne. But the doctor brought us news a few hours ago."
"What news?"
"I don't have much time Anne. My heart is too weak."
"But Matthew-"
"My time is coming to meet your parents and see my mother again. Neither of us can stop it Anne, but I believe you will do great things-"
"Stop talking like this is the last time I will see you!" I raised me voce painfully.
He paused. It couldn't be true. He couldn't be dying so soon. He can't. I-Marilla- We can't do this without him. What were we to do without him?
"Anne-"
"No."
"Listen to me!"
He was harsh and alot more demanding than he ever had been. His frail hand held my wrist and kept me by his bedside. Even as tears littered my cheeks.
"That boy, he is a good one, the best. He will be here for you, for me. I know the moment I pass you will push everyone away as quickly as possible. Let him in Anne. He loves you, he will be there the whole time. You were Marilla's & my undeniable miracle we didn't know we needed. In you, we have finally found all we never dared to dream we could deserve or have. That kind of love that is rare. You have managed to make us known in a way that touches the deepest parts of us. Accepted in a way that blows our minds everyday. In you, the love we have always desired to give now has a place to call home. We were skeptical at first, but you were our undeniable miracle. The questions and outcomes don't matter anymore because we finally found each other, and that time we had, that was enough."
"I want more time."
"We had our time Anne. I had my time, but I can't wait to watch over you, with your parents and mine, from the Heavens above seeing the beautiful woman you are already turning out to be."
"How long do you have?"
"Doctors projected two months, maybe three."
I just nodded. That's all I could do. 30 days. That's all I had left with him. I backed myself out of the room. Matthew said my name over and over trying to convince me to stay. I just couldn't.