To Heal A Heart: A Holby City Fan Fiction (Complete and updated) (Kian & OC #1)

Chapter 10

Kian pulled into a hotel car park, mentally cursing the foul weather that had followed him and Haley from the mountains. He got Haley out of the car and grabbed some things from the boot. Walking into the lobby to check in, he noticed how disheveled they both looked.
"I'd like to rent a room for the night." He said simply, and then hoping to avoid a stare, he added "With two beds."

The clerk cleared his throat and handed Kian the key cards, raising an eyebrow at the two. Kian gulped knowing how odd a thirty-nine-year-old guy and a twenty-something girl, both wet and muddy, checking into a hotel must look. He thought up a story fast.

"We're part of a hiking group; she's my student and I'm her instructor. We were out on the mountains and she got a call about a family emergency. I'm taking her home, but we need to stop for the night."

The clerk seemed to accept the little white lie, and the two headed for the room. Kian sat Haley on one of the beds, and got some clothes out for her that he brought from the flat. He heard her let out a breathy sob, and hugged her briefly.

"It's okay, Haley, we made it here in one piece. Just go into the bathroom; get a nice hot shower to warm up. There's a few places for food right next door. I'll go get us something to eat." Haley nodded wordlessly, and Kian handed her a t-shirt for her to wear.

As he headed out the door, he considered staying with her; what if something happened while he was gone? He thought about it, but she seemed too tired to do anything.

He came back with two greasy sacks and a six pack of sports drinks. To his relief, she was sitting up in bed, watching a mystery show on television. Her hair was damp from the shower, and there was some color on her cheeks. Kian felt a rush of gladness at seeing her alive.

"Haley, you don't have to watch that. I can put it on the television in the other room." Kian offered as he set down the bag of food on the coffee table. Haley shook her head.

"I got your favorite," he beamed, trying to get her to smile. "I'll get my shower and we can eat." Kian rested his hand on Haley's shoulder as he walked into the bathroom. She looked so broken and empty; it hurt seeing her that way.

Kian stripped off his clothes and got into the shower, savoring the hot water on his skin. Over a year ago, he had stood on those same cliffs that he had found Haley on.  He had stripped naked; barely feeling the icy cold, and screamed into the empty air. Remembering Vanessa, who he left behind to save, but was too late. Trying to release the pain of losing Bea, who he had had risked his career to save. Take off the guilt of sending Jac to the psych ward, at least she had saved his life in the end. Now, he had returned to save Haley, who needed him the most. Kian rested his head against the tiled wall, feeling a tear escape from his eyes.He wiped it away and finished up getting clean. Getting a pair of pajama shorts and an old t-shirt on, he headed back out to the bedroom.

Haley had gotten up from bed and had unpacked the food Kian had bought. Kian looked at it all laid out.
"Remember, double bacon cheeseburger for me, quarter pounder with all your faves for you." Kian teased. Haley offered him a wry smile and took her burger and chips, which she started eating before she even sat down on her bed. She was starving.

"I know it isn't the fancy stuff I bring home, or the comfort food you make, but I knew you liked it." He added, taking in the soft murmur of the tv. "I know you don't like caffeine before bed, so I didn't get you Cherry Coke. I got some Gatorade so you can get rehydrated."

"Thanks, Kian." Haley answered. It seemed to be the first intelligible words she said since he had found her.

"Haley, if you were afraid of what you were going to do to yourself, you could have called a hotline. Why did you take off like that? I was afraid I'd find you frozen or dead at the foot of a cliff." Kian tried to sound compassionate, but it might have come out as a yell. He put his hands on his knees, his body shaking.

Haley swallowed a swig of her drink. There were tears in her eyes.
"It just all came back. My mom's death, my dad's neglect; I just wanted to go where I loved one more time. I knew you'd find me."

Kian walked over to her bed and held her close. She was sobbing again. He kissed her on the top of the head, smelling her shampoo. It was their first kiss, but it felt natural; as though this was how he had always comforted her. Kian held her close, rocking her back and forth. "I'm here. I'm here with you now. It's okay. When we get back home, I'll get you the counseling you need."

When her sobs subsided, he sat down on the bed next to her. She looked into his eyes and rested her head on his chest. Her eyes flicked to the scar on his thigh. A brief moment of silence followed.

"Got that on the mountains, just over a year ago. It's weird; I go to see a colleague who's in rehab, she thinks I'm going off the deep end, and saves me when I'm lying on a cliff with a stick in my leg, a concussion, and freezing temperatures. And now I find you in the same place. Maybe I would have ended it all, but it's not worth dwelling on the past."
"You mean...?" Haley started, realizing that she wasn't the only one who felt like giving up.
"I lost someone too. Her name was Bea. I tried to save her, but she wasn't strong enough. Losing a patient is hard enough; losing one you know so well breaks your heart. She wasn't the only one; my wife, Vanessa, died in a climbing accident in Wales three years before Bea. When I was looking for you, all I could think of was her; cold, alone." Kian responded, staring glassy-eyed through a film of unshed tears. It felt like he had taken a load off his shoulders. Haley kissed him softly on his jaw, taking his hurt with it.

The hotel room was warm and toasty after the chill of the mountain air, but it was silent.

"How come you never told me you were widowed?" Haley asked, taking his hand.
"I didn't want to push you away; you were so vulnerable and had no where to go. Maybe we were meant to go back to those mountains today."
"Maybe you're right." She said, resting her head on his shoulder. "You take care of me."

"I guess it's what I do." He responded, taking her hand in both of his. "Maybe I'm just a mess of a person. "

Haley traced the ropy white flesh of his scar with her finger, and Kian sucked in his breath at her touch. He kissed her forehead, his stubble scratching her skin. She slid her hand under his shirt.

"No," he said suddenly, jerking away.
"You don't.....?" She answered, feeling hurt, but placing her hands on his shoulders.
"Just not tonight, not here. It's been a long day for both of us. I can tell you're tired."  Kian assured her. He would never use her when she was this vulnerable, when they were both pouring out their souls to each other and starting find a way out of the dark.
"Then can you just stay with me...in bed?" She asked softly. "I don't want to be alone."
"Sure, love." He replied, kissing her softly on the mouth. He curled up on the bed beside her. Feeling a need for a change of mood, they flipped through the channels until they found a sitcom. They finished dinner, and Haley fell asleep without a sound on Kian's shoulder.