CHARMED A NEW DESTINY

SEASON FIVE EPISODE 23: OH, MY GODDESS PART TWO

[Scene: Manor. Living room. Payson, Piper, Paige, Tricia and Chris are there. The girls have just been turned into goddesses and they're wearing ancient Greek outfits.]

Piper: You expect us to beat the Titans dressed like this? Maybe at a costume party.

Tricia: That's not a costume. That represents your new position and power.

Payson: Power? Power's good. I like power. (She thinks for a moment.) Why do I like power?

Tricia: Because you are the goddess of war.

Payson: Ahh. Well, I guess that explains the pitchfork.

Chris: It's not a pitchfork, it's a trident. Be careful, that's a formidable weapon.

Payson: Right on. Who wants to fight?

Paige: I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Chris: You're the goddess of love.

Piper: Naturally. Well, then that must make me the goddess of sanity because I find this ridiculous.

Chris: Actually, Leo gave you dominion over the earth and all its natural elements.

Piper: Wait a minute, you're saying that Leo did this to us?

Tricia: As you can see, all of you have driven and urges based on your powers. Don't let them distract you, alright? Stay focused, focused on the Titans.

Piper: Hold it, pal. I don't know what kind of game you're running here, but Leo is not in the god-making business.

Paige: (to Tricia) How old are you?

Piper: The Elders forbid it. And if anything, Leo is a company man.

Tricia: The Elders did forbid it.

Chris: And guess what, they're dead. Most of them. Leo's in charge up there now and he's taken a huge risk that you three won't lose your humanity like the ancient Greeks... Whoa!

(Payson sticks her trident into Chris's top and holds up in the air.)

Payson: You killed the Elders. You could've prevented it. I say we circumcise.

Tricia: Oh, that's gross. A little control here, ladies, please.

Paige: Can't we figure out something else to cut off?

(Chris orbs out and orbs back in across the room.)

Tricia: I told you, stay focused. In my future, all the Elders were killed.

Chris: That's why we came back to help Leo give you the power so this would never have to happen again.

Payson: Hey, guys, watch this.

(She points her trident at the piano and a bolt of lightning flies out of it hitting the piano. The piano breaks into pieces.)

Piper: Put that thing down, you're gonna hurt someone.

Payson: I certainly hope so. Do you know the kind of damage this thing could do?

Tricia: A lot.

Paige: Payson, make love, not, you know. There's no door love can't open, no wall love can't climb, not hurdle love can't... (She thinks.) Hurdle.

Piper: This is Leo's strategy? Well, he must have lost it up there because these girls can't be seen in public, much less...

Paige: Ooh, that reminds me. We're late for the bachelor auction. I'm gonna go pick up a guy or two, or twelve.