abstracts & him

Three

"Out." I realize he's not talking to me. The curly guy who saw us together outside last night hurried to go out.

I glance at Ezió and he's seriously watching the ending part of the movie—where Kat reads her poem in front of the class—while the rest of the girls are crying their hearts out.

I stand up still looking at him. "Calli! Where are you going?" Draine yells making Ezió catch me staring at him. I blink thrice just to break the stare.

"I need to go back inside." She nods. Thankfully, she agreed.

"Hey!" Sabina comes running to me. "Have you thought of..." I didn't let her finish.

"I told you no!" I didn't have the intention to yell at her. It just came out because I'm annoyed.

"You don't have to scream." She calmly said. She's sad, I can tell.

"Sorry." I apologize. When I look around, everyone is looking at us—at me. Each of them slowly changes into paparazzi with cameras flashing as they hurried to talk to me. My feet get numb that I can't make it move. A middle-aged man who is one of them gets first to come to me. All of a sudden, his face shifts to the creepy madman that night.

"Get off me!" My voice is between screaming and crying. I push him hard making him fall on the ground. When he fell, I kick him on his side.

"Kris!" Sabina squeals which puts me back to the reality. The guy is down at the floor, feeling the pain from his side which I kicked.

"I-I'm sorry!" I can hear their whisphers. Their stares are judging me. Right now they're probably thinking that I'm a creep. 

"I'm barely touching you!" He's annoyed. "I'm just trying to go out. You're delusional." Sabina helps him sit on the couch beside Ezió whose eyes are piercing through me. His stare is different from everyone in here. His' is like a person who's re-watching a movie knowing the ending.

"Sorry." I apologize once again before walking back to our room. Erra was standing at the doorway when I left.

I put myself to sleep to make this embarrassment fade away but I know it'll just temporary because when I wake up in the morning it's going to be there again.

I'm right. Everyone is killing me with those glances. There are quite a lot who saw what happened last night but not everyone in this building. I think the story got passed and passed.

"What?" I'm trying to be brave in here. I won't act as if I'm the pitiful girl protagonist on a some kind of cliché love story. I'm tired of that. If they see that you're weak, they're going to pry on you even more. "I said what are you looking at?" I step closer to her.

"Nothing." The petite blond girl takes a step back.

"Hey, hey, hey, try to touch her then I won't hesitate to do something you won't like." Her boyfriend tries to defend her. I smirk at him. Does he think I'm bothered?

"Don't worry. I don't touch dirty things." Yes. I'm pissing her off. I walk past her but she pulls my hair tie making it easier for her to mess with it. I won't counterattack. It's against the rules and I won't get myself kicked out.

"Stop!" Someone pulls me from the crazy girl's hands tangled on my hair. My chest is going up and down as well as her. I didn't expect her to be this aggressive.

I look at the person holding me. Ezió is holding both of my arms and I pull away from him.

"This is a warning but the next time something like this happens again, I'm going to take you to the property assistant." Sabina is as usual, trying to be calm. I don't know if she even knows how to be angry.

I didn't have the chance to take my breakfast because I went back to the room. I am so frustrated. I don't know that this place will just be the same as Toronto. I went here because I want to be somewhere away from the place where bad memories are the only things I can think of.

I told myself that I'm going to be someone new in here. I don't want the sad, alone and pitiful Calli anymore. She's gone. I'm tired of living that kind of life. I'm tired of being where I was but it seems like I'll be in the situation worse than before.

I don't talk to people. I am afraid of people but the first time I came here, I felt so much different. I get to talk to people as if I'm used to it. I get to smile and laugh and the best of all, I get to be who I want to be. But, I just got the taste of those things for a short time because I'm meant to be hated and to be alone. I'm self-pitying again.

My phone rings from under my pillow. An unknown number is on the screen. I sit up as I answer the call.

"Calli..." My sister. If I have known, I wouldn't pick it up.

"Don't start with me. I'm already having a bad day." I put my phone down. She's the last person I want to talk to right now.

The door opens and Draine avoids my eyes. She quietly goes through her things. She looks like packing things up. I didn't ask her because I know the answer anyway. I watch her as she puts her clothes back in her suitcase. I left the room and sit alone at the garden.

Classes haven't even started but I already made a mess. I thought as I stare at the horizon.

"Aren't you going with them?" Ezió asks from behind. I don't need to see him to confirm it's him.

"To where?" I say without looking at him who is sitting one bench away from me.

"They're going out to see Montréal." He opens his sketch pad.

I jump to another topic. "So now you're talking to me." He ignores me as he draws lines and shapes that what I think are for his sketches.

I stare at the blank space while consuming my thoughts on everything that might happen with all this mess. My thoughts were interrupted when I hear ripping of paper. Ezió is pulling out a page from his pad. He stands from his seat to get to me. He pulls my right hand out and places the paper he ripped from his pad.

I look at the paper with a drawing of three benches. There's a girl seated on the right bench while a guy on the left bench and the center is left empty. The guy is looking at the girl while the girl is staring at the nothing. There's a coffee drawing enclosed inside a cloud bubble above the guy's head.

I smile after realizing the whole picture. It's him and I.

"You have a very artistic way of asking a girl to have coffee with you." I suddenly remember the time when we were at Café Myriade. I don't drink coffee but maybe I can try.

The strong wind blows the same time I stand up from my seat making me realize that I'm hallucinating. He's staring at me thinking that I am weird for standing up with a wide smile on my face. I slowly take my seat again.

Why am I imagining things? Why is he sneaking in my thoughts?