abstracts & him

Fourteen

CONGRATULATIONS CALLISTA FOR MAKING YOUR NAME ON THE NEWS' HEADLINES AGAIN!!!

I scribble on my notes while our professor is discussing something about Beethoven. I keep on tracing the same sentence until it has gotten thick.

After what happened on our audition, articles about me kept on being published. I am the talk of the university and the residence. I have read some comments and most of those are offensive. They are not hate comments but they're using my videos and pictures as memes and I'm not enjoying it. However, there are still who are sending good comments.

I went straight back to our room after my classes ended. It's been my routine for two weeks already. I have no energy to talk to other people so I lock myself inside this room. Erra has been skipping classes that she has with me. Basically, she's ignoring me.

"Hi mom." I answer on the second ring.

"Can I meet you? I'm at the café right now." I can hear someone talking to her in the background.

I know she is worried about what's circling around the internet about me.

She didn't want me to leave in the first place but I insisted so she gave me nothing. I remember selling some of my stuff so I can have money for the bus fare. She thought if I have no money, I'll come back and take a different course which is what she wanted.

She's afraid that I'll have panic attacks on stage and people talking about me. She told me to see a psychologist but I didn't want to. At that time, I thought my panic attack will heal as years go by but I underestimated it. It's not worst than this before.

"Callista!" My mom called me the moment I stepped inside the café. I smiled and walk toward her table. I slowed down when I realize who she's with.

"Good to see you." My sister greets me. I regret calling her "sister."

I ignore her. I want to leave but it'll be disrespectful for my mother. She wants to see me and it's not like she's asking for a big favor.

I haven't seen her for five years. She left for New York in 2014 then a year later, mom sent her to the Philippines for two months but I guess she liked the country which made her stay until the beginning of this year.

"Your sister is back for good." My mother is beyond happy. There weren't in good terms when she left and I think they've made up already.

"I don't really care." I intentionally sounded to be mean.

"Callista, can' you be nice to your sister at least for today?"

"Mom, it's okay." Persia tells mom.

Mom talks about how her clothing line is doing great and her new favorite photographer, Knight. It hasn't been long since she hired him. On the other hand, Persia talks about her book signings. She has schedules here in Montréal. She met the organizers before meeting me. Then, all of a sudden mom asks me to come back home with them.

"I'm staying here." I reply.

"Haven't you read any article? They're making fun of you!" I can feel mom's anger towards the people of the internet. It's natural for mothers to hurt when their child's hurting.

"I'm okay."

"You are not! This is what I'm afraid of so please just go back home!"