Silent Pain

Happy Thanksgiving

On November 27th, it was the day before Thanksgiving. We were going to the movies to see Frozen 2. Tina and I were getting in mom's van and we sat in the back. Aunt Tina and Uncle Liam sat in the back seats while my parents were up front. Dad drove us to the nearby theater and presented our tickets to the ticket taker. As kids, Allen, Tina and I would share a large popcorn. I asked Tina if she wanted a large popcorn and she said she'd go for a medium. The sadness in her answer was obvious. Allen ate most of the popcorn so there's no way we'd finish a large on our own. We got a medium and the adults got two larges. We got into the theater and watched a bunch of previews.

After the movies, we went back home. Mom said we should skip lunch because we were full from our snacks from the movies and we'll save room for dinner. The turkey for tomorrow was thawing and the ingredients for the pumpkin pie were out. Tina and I were hanging out in the backyard. "I never did ask how your classes were going." I said. "Oh, they're going great, one more year and I get my master's degree!" "Allen would be proud of you" "He'd be proud of you too" "I don't know anymore" "what's wrong?" "He told me to be strong and always be happy for him, but lately, I've been upset and I can't even stand up for myself." "Sydney, life is hard, Allen would understand. I think he'd also understand that this is hard for the whole family. We all loved Allen and he loved us. Being strong doesn't mean living your life alone, it means continuing to live your life even when things get rough." She had a point, I have been trying to do this alone since day one after Allen's death. Maybe I need to reach out to more of my family.

That night for dinner, mom made duck, whipped potatoes, and mixed vegetables. We extended our dining table so all our guests would fit. "You are an amazing chef Aunt Valerie." Tina says with her mouth still half full. Charming for a 23-year-old. "Tina, swallow your food before you talk, you're an adult!" Aunt Avery scolded. Mom giggled. "Thank you dear. You know, I was thinking you and Sydney would like to help with dinner tomorrow?" I nodded and Tina said she'd gladly help. "Hey sis, can you help me with the turkey tomorrow?" Mom asks. "Yes of course." That night, Tina and I watched TV in my room before Tina got tired and went to bed.

The next morning, I was the last one to wake up. I went downstairs and mom was making a big breakfast. Every year, we add what we're thankful for to our prayers. Mom said that she was thankful for a surprise family reunion, dad says he's thankful for his family, Aunt Avery said she was thankful for a happy life, Uncle Liam said he was thankful for safe travels, Tina said she was thankful for a healthy life and I said I was thankful for my friends, family, a roof over my head and food on the table. If Allen were here, he'd say he's thankful for all the love he has in his life like he did every year. Allen made it sound like his life was so perfect, maybe it really was. He got along well with me, he had relationships with our parents, he had a girlfriend and a lot of best friends from school. I hope that the holidays don't delay this court case any further because Allen's life was perfect and it was taken from him at 20 years old!

After breakfast, mom and Aunt Avery got the turkey going. "Already?" "It's gotta cook all day." "I can see why, it's like thirty pounds!" Tina adds. Jeez, a thirty pound turkey? This family can barely eat a fifteen pound turkey! Tina and I hung out downstairs today watching TV with our parents. I got a few text messages from Kate and Xavier. Kate texted me a picture of the city from the apartment window, and it was lovely. Xavier texted a picture of him and his family in the background saying "happy Thanksgiving" to us. It was nice that my friends still think of me even when they're with their extended family. I think they were more shocked than me when I told them my aunt, uncle and cousin had come to visit.

Around four that afternoon, Tina and I started helping with dinner. I made the mashed potatoes, gravy and stuffing while Tina worked on the homemade cranberry sauce and finished the pumpkin pie. When the turkey was finally done, I was super hungry. We sat at the table, said our prayers and ate up. I don't know who started the cooking talent in my family tree but whoever it was sure knew how to cook and knew how to teach! Was one of my ancestors a famous chef? I wouldn't be surprised at all if I ever heard that. Everyone left room for dessert thankfully, even though our Thanksgiving feast was a hit. We still had half the pie left after dessert. While the girls brought dishes to the sink and put away leftover Turkey, my dad and uncle did the dishes. "Sydney, Aunt Valerie, Uncle Edwin, I'm so thankful you allowed us to visit you on such short notice. I just wish Allen was here." I know how she feels. "We all do honey." Aunt Avery says hugging Tina. When Aunt Avery let go of Tina, I saw both of them wipe away a tear. Maybe another reason why my family is together is to help me press forward with my own life. Without this family reunion, I would have just been depressed all week and wouldn't have stepped foot out of my room.