Silent Pain

Happy Holidays

On Christmas morning, it was cloudy yet somehow beautiful. I went downstairs, still in my pajamas and saw mom making a big breakfast. She had pancakes, toast, eggs and bacon on the table already. Dad was brewing coffee when they noticed me. "Morning kiddo, Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas to you both too." I responded. "Sit down Sydney, have some breakfast." After my parents and I sat down, we said our prayers and dug in. I think I ate more than usual, but I guess that's good. I got a bunch of text messages from my cousins, Javier and Kate. I responded to all of them once I cleared the table. My stocking was on the floor next to our electric fireplace. Even though Allen wasn't here, his stocking was still out and hanging up where it always did. "I thought seeing that would help." Mom said. "I do, I just wish he was here in person." "We all do, but he would want you to smile and live your life."

It was about 40 degrees out, so it was rather chilly. In my stocking, there was candy, dvds, a phone case and a framed picture of Allen and me last Christmas with me wearing the locket he gave me. This has to be one of the best gifts so far. The picture made me remember how I felt when I saw the locket. Allen passed me the wrapped box with an excited look in his eyes. I opened it quickly so he would calm down. It's a beautiful necklace with a large heart shaped locket, gold color and a long chain. Inside was a picture of Allen on one side and me on the other. They were our yearbook photos from 2017, Allen was a senior and I was in 8th grade. Even though my picture that year made me look like a dork, Allen still liked it.

Mom helped me snap out of my flashback and gave me my first gift from under the tree. It was a new computer. Nice, I needed a new computer since my old one is slow when it comes to doing research for homework assignments. I also got new makeup, some new clothes, a pair of brown high heel boots, a steering wheel cover and some new jewelry. Mom went over to the closet and pulled out two extra gifts. One was from Kate who got me a set of lotions and the other was from Javier. His gift was a painting of the flower they use the pedals of on their Mexican holiday, 'The day of the dead' and his signature was at the bottom. Dad got some new tools, new cooking utensils and a touch pad. Mom got new shoes, paints, and what only seemed like a card, she opened it and three folded up pieces of paper fell out. "What are those?" I asked. Mom picked them up and opened one of them. "Travel itineraries?" Mom asks, looking at dad who had a smile on his face. "Dad? What's with the smile?" "My lovely wife and sweet daughter, this family needs a vacation. For New Year's, we're going to Minneapolis to surprise your parents Val! We leave in three days!" I was so happy to be going on this trip! I jumped up and hugged dad. "When did you get these tickets honey?" Mom asked. "Back in September. It was going to be a surprise." "Well it was a surprise alright." "Indeed. My parents will certainly be surprised."

I texted my friends and told them my great news. Kate wished me safe travels, so did Javier, but he also added a 'congratulations' comment with his response. I know that my maternal grandparents will be surprised. They could use a surprise like this, especially after Allen's death at the beginning of the year. My dad booked a hotel room since it's likely my aunt and uncle will be there. They live in Minnesota, but they live 42 minutes from my grandparents' house. Tina lives in an apartment with a friend of hers, but she'll be there too if my aunt and uncle are there. I texted my cousin just to double check. Tina responded with, "I think my parents are staying at their house at least, since I last heard. I'll ask my mom." When I heard back from Tina, it appears Aunt Avery has indeed staying at my grandparents' house. I think my parents already knew that, so a hotel it is.

Dad helped me set up my new computer and I got rid of some of my old makeup to make room for the new makeup. I reminded Tina not to tell my grandparents that we're coming because it's supposed to be a surprise. It got as cold as 40 degrees this afternoon, so we stayed inside while mom was hoping for a snow fall. "If it snows, they may cancel our trip." Dad reminds her. "I guess that's true, isn't it?" After putting away the rest of my gifts, my parents and I watched Christmas movies for the rest of the afternoon. We had light snacks instead of lunch, then mom made a big dinner. I'm so excited for our trip to Minneapolis, I can't wait to see the looks on my grandparents' faces when we show up. Before going to bed, I stood on the back porch with a blanket on my shoulders. I looked up to see a countless number of stars in the sky, and I began wondering which one Allen was using to see us from heaven. I figured it would have been the brightest star in the sky, so when I spotted that one star, I wished Allen a merry Christmas.