How I Commited Suicide

Chapter 1 - Too many thoughts

Edited.

Italics are my (Zanna's) thoughts

I wake up to my alarm on my phone. Goddamnit. Why does life hate me so much to the point where I'm forced to go to school this early? I think to myself. I grab my phone from under my pillow, my eyes still closed. I throw my phone on the ground, careful enough so it only lands on my fluffy light blue, light purple, and blood red tie dye rug. *sigh* I open my eyes, squeezing them at first when I feel Satan-- I mean, the sun heating up my face through the window. I roll over onto my back and rub my eyes getting the morning crust off from my eyes. I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding in and sat up. I scooted over to the side of my queen size bed and let my feet dangle down. I'm short. I thought. I mean, It's true. I'm a 17 year-old girl that's 5'3. I like being short though so it's not all that bad. I push my thoughts aside and get up from my bed. I feel as my feet touch my fluffy rug and it feels like I'm stepping on clouds. I don't wanna move. I go to my closet, picking out my clothes for the day. I pick out a black cropped tank top that ended right above my belly button, revealing my belly piercing. I put on some light purple sweat pants to go with my shirt. I wanted to be comfy today. Especially since it's March. It's usually humid but chilly out around this time. I also decide to put on black ankle socks and my black vans. I put on a little mascara and chapstick and grabbed the black oversized zip up sweater that I stole from one of my other friends, Cory. He's 5 months older than me. He said I can just keep it since he has plenty of other sweaters. I grab my phone and my cloth backpack that has a bunch of different eyeball designs all over it, connected with vines. I opened my bedroom door and closed it behind me as I walked downstairs to wait with Alice for her school bus to get here and pick her up. Usually, after the school bus picks up Alice, me and Kevin get a ride with Alex. Sometimes we get a ride with George or Nolan. In about 10 minutes, Alice's bus is at the front waiting for her. She's about to leave to the front door when Nolan comes in, "Yo, y'all should start locking your doors in the morning," he says as he smiles and hugs Alice. "Hey princess, you should get outside, your bus is waiting for you," Nolan says to her. Alice is like a little sister to him. I smile and say, "Yeah, here's your backpack," I hand her her backpack and she left out the door giving me and Kevin a kiss on the cheek yelling "BYE!!" as she left. Kevin closed the door behind her and he went to go get his phone from his room. ...And I was left with Nolan. Alone. He turned to me, "You still have a boyfriend, don't you?" he asked me. Oh.. He's talking about Ryan. Well the problem with that is.. We broke up a month ago because apparently I was taking the relationship too slow. We were dating for 2 years and he would always try to get me to have sex with him but I was never ready (a/n: this part is not true but I've had similar experiences). I came back to reality and I looked at him with water threatening to fall from my eyes. I put on a fake smile, "Uh no actually. We broke up like a month ago..." I said, my voice cracking mid-sentance. My fake smile was fading. Nolan looked like he regretted asking that. "Hey, don't cry. I don't wanna see your cute face all sad. He wasn't worth it. I'm sorry for not seeing how you were in pain," Nolan said in a calming tone. He came over to me and gave me a comforting hug. I didn't want that hug to end.

Does he care about me like I care about him? Does he have feelings for me?
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Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed my first chapter and in no way shape or form am I trying to make fun of sexual harassment and such. It's a very serious thing that I myself have experienced and I am very against it, I'd rather raise awareness than to ever make a joke or anything towards s/a. Most of the story is fictional and I first wrote this story when I was in middle school. I've graduated highschool now and I know most of this story will have a bunch of drama but that's just what I wrote and figured it would be entertaining for some. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy reading this and if you have any questions/concerns/suggestions/comments, you're free to leave a comment. That's all for now, thanks for reading, enjoy!

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