Secrets and Camera Flashes

Chapter 7

"Castiel!"

"Castiel, over here!"

"To your right!"

"Look this way!"

Castiel gives up trying to follow the voices almost immediately. There's a wall of paparazzi screaming at him, and he can't look at everyone at once. He does his best to look at everyone at some point, but that doesn't stop them from getting impatient that he's not looking at them when they want him to.

"Cas, hey!"

He looks over to see Jo and Dean, and he gives them a smile that's about as real as the ones he was giving the cameras. He knew he'd see them eventually, but he was hoping for a little more time to himself. It's not that he doesn't like them — they're both really nice, and he couldn't ask for a better co-star or future love triangle rival, but at the same time...

He's awkward. He's always been awkward. He knows that. Everyone knows that. And throwing in a hot guy that he may or may not be crushing on... well, it's a recipe for disaster.

But he has to try to be normal, so he says, "Hi."

That's it. Nothing fancy. No big cluster words that he'll inevitably end up stumbling over. Give him a prepackaged monologue and he's fine, but he can't deliver homemade sentences when he's nervous to save his life.

"Hey, Cas," Jo says with a grin. She pulls him into a hug, which he had not been expecting at all, but he immediately hugs her back. There are far too many cameras on them to hesitate. It won't be as believable that they had suddenly gotten together if people don't think they already like each other.

And then it's time to greet Dean, and he has absolutely no idea how he's supposed to do that. They've only met twice and spoken once, but he's also heard so much about him, he feels like he knows him. And, of course, there's the little itty bitty detail that is the giant ass crush he has on the guy.

Fortunately, Dean makes it easy for him, extending his hand for a hand shake. "Hey, man."

"Hi." Castiel shakes his hand briefly. He really shouldn't feel as uncomfortable doing it as he does, but he can't help it. He always overthinks his crushes. As someone who has desperately tried to hide his sexuality his whole life, he doesn't really want to be in the same general vicinity as his crush.

And now he sounds like a 13-year-old girl.

"So, Cas, ready for the big reveal?" Jo asks. "They're finally putting our chemistry on the big screen."

"That they are," Castiel says, and he really hopes people do think they have chemistry. The first round of reviews comes out tomorrow morning, and this role was a huge step up for him. If this doesn't do well, he might as well give up on landing any more big roles for big films. He'll have to go back to things like Karla, and he does not want to do anything like that ever again.

"I'm not sure I want my mom to see it," Jo adds. "She's getting really sick of all these romance movies."

"That's fair," Castiel says, because what else does he say to that?

Fortunately, Dean seems to know how to respond, because he says, "Dude, your whole life is a romance movie."

Jo laughs. "Wow, thanks, I hate it."

"Beware the love triangle, that's all I gotta say," Dean says.

Jo shakes her head, amused, then turns her attention to Castiel. "How 'bout your family?"

"What about them?" Castiel asks warily. He doesn't really like talking about them, mostly because he decided early on in his career to pretend he still had a family, and it's a bit late to back out now. He's amazed no one has found any contradictions in his lies, even though he tries to keep them short and sweet.

"They have any thoughts about the movie going into it?" Jo asks.

"Oh, no, not really," Castiel says, relieved. That's an easy one.

"You're gonna have to tell me what they say about it," she says. "Are they here tonight?"

"No, they're... busy," Castiel says.

"Too busy to come to your premier?" Jo raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know, big family," Castiel says awkwardly. "Always something going on with someone."

"Sounds like their priorities are a little messed up, but okay," Jo says. "Sucks to be them, I guess."

And, just when Castiel thinks he's in the clear, he makes the mistake of looking at Dean. It only takes one look at the expression he wears for Castiel to remember that he never told him this lie — in fact, he did the opposite; he told him that he hasn't heard from his family in a decade. He hasn't told anyone that since his days waiting tables, hoping for his big break, but that was years ago.

Maybe this is why he usually tries to avoid alcohol. He was trying to hype himself up to talk to Dean at the party, so he may have had a few drinks, but he certainly wasn't drunk. He probably should have known better than to tell him that. He really better avoid alcohol now, because if he accidentally lets his sexuality slip, it's over for him.

But maybe this is a good thing. It just serves as an incentive to not talk to him, or at least not talk to him alone. He's far less likely to make a fool of himself in front of the guy he likes if he stays away from him.

And, fortunately, his agent takes that moment to come over and drag him away for an interview. Thank god for PR, huh?