I Missed You- Kleinsen (deh)

Jared

This chapter sounds super dumb to me but I don't know any other way to write it so uh yeah

Oh also:

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"THIS MOTHER FUCKER KNEW THE WHOLE TIME!"

"Okay, Jared, calm down."

"This mother fucker knew the whole time."

"I understand that Jared."

"What am I supposed to do now? My advantage was that I was the only one who remembered it happening, and now I don't have that advantage anymore!"

"For someone who claims you don't like Evan, you're awfully worked up about this."

"Alana."

"Sorry."

Last night Alana was still hanging out with Zoe after I left Evan's house, so now I'm pacing back and forth in her bedroom at nine in the morning. She got a little upset that I woke her up but got over it as soon as I told her what Evan said last night.

"What if he doesn't remember telling you? Like last time you guys were only drinking beer, this time he was drinking whiskey... a whole bottle of whiskey." Alana suggested.

"That doesn't change the fact that he knows."

That's why we've had random awkward moments, because he knew as much I as I knew. It's hard to erase the fact that we kissed on my couch and not think about it for time to time. I just assumed that I was acting weird cause only I knew and he noticed and thought it was his fault. But no. He knew too.

"Well if he still doesn't know you know, then you can go back to normal again."

"Okay, but now I want to know everything. How does he feel about what happened? How many times has he got mad at himself for doing it? Did he know what he was doing when it happened? Does he regret it? Did he like it? I mean, he definitely couldn't have meant it, I just wanna know." I ranted. You don't understand how long I stayed up last night just thinking about this.

"Then like. Ask."

"I can't just fuckin' ask! Then he'd know that I know, if he did end up forgetting that is."

"I don't understand why it's such a big deal. It happened. So what."

"Bitch- what am I supposed to say? 'You know that one time we got really drunk and we kissed? Wanna have a whole ass casual conversation about that?' No! You can't just do that! Plus, we're best friends, I don't want to hurt that."

"I've kissed Zoe before. We're perfectly fine." She said, shrugging.

"That's like, a straight girl thing, though. You guys are weird."

"Okay, and according to you, you and Evan don't have any attraction towards each other. So you should be fine. Just a weird memory you can make fun of him for later."

"Ugh! You don't understand!" I flopped down in a soft chair across from her, a pout on my face as she rolls her eyes.

We fall into a comfortable silence as she types on her computer, doing who knows what. Probably telling Zoe exactly what I told her. I pull out my phone and go on Reddit, scrolling through random subreddits. None of them interested me very much and I quickly got bored.

I was about to complain to Alana and force her to entertain me, but instead I got a text. From Evan.

Acorn:
I'm sorry

That's it. That's all he said.

"Well what the ass does that mean?" I say aloud, just staring at the text.

"Huh?" Alana asks, looking up from her computer.

"He just texted me 'sorry' like, only that, no context no nothing."

"Does me mean he's sorry that you had to deal with him being drunk out of his mind or that he remembers what he told you and he's sorry he kept it from you for so long?"

"That's my point, I don't know!"

I got up and started pacing again, contemplating my whole life and wondering how I got myself into this mess.

"You know, I'm going to be a therapist." Alana said, completely out of the blue.

"That's so irrelevant to the problem here." I replied and Alana laughed, putting her computer away.

"You're hella stressed. I've been trained to help. Sit down, talk to me."

"Are you serious?"

"One hundred percent."

We looked at each other for a moment. I tried to see if she was kidding, but the look of determination never left her face.

"...okay, fine." I sat in the chair once more, and she shifted herself into a stereo typical counselor position.

"Alright tell me everything. Start to finish."

"Like... about Evan? From when we met again?

"Sure."

And that's what I did. I awkwardly described the last couple of months or so, not really sure if what I was saying is what she wanted me to say. Soon though, I got more comfortable with it. Then I started going on a full. Ass. Rant.

"-like we definitely flirt with each other a lot. Mostly me. But that's just us being close, you know? And it's all the time too. But at the party, it didn't feel like he was just joking, which kinda freaked me out. But not in a bad way. And then he just fucking kissed me and I was like 'oh ok this is happening now?' And then you just had to go and find out, like the bitch you are. Anyway, I just really didn't want him to know cause all I could think about was high school Evan, and if that happened then, he would have definitely ran away and never talked to me again. And I know Evan's changed a shit ton from high school. I just, didn't want him to go back to that? I don't know. It's fun having Evan around. I don't know what high school Jared was thinking, he's pretty fucking great. And I don't want us to be awkward around each other cause we're finally actually friends and I don't want us to be any less than that. But my dumbass self isn't helping that, though. Have you ever like, had weird urges to do shit and you're brains like no?? Don't do that?? Well, I think I am just starved of affection or something cause like random times after the party my brain was like 'hey you should like... kiss Evan or smth' but like, not kiss kiss, just like, and little peck on his forehead. Which is weird right? But I never do cause like, what the fuck no? And I think Evan's noticed it, but I always avoid it and like-"

Oh shit.

I like Evan don't I.

"Dude." Alana says, a huge grin on her face. "You fell for him, so hard."

"Fuck."

~~~

It's pretty hard for me to write chapters like this cause like, I'm aromantic. I don't know how this shit works. I've never had a crush on someone before. I don't know how it feels to fall for someone like that. So if this chapter seems really dumb in any way, that's why?? Idk it might just be me thinking all my chapters are stupid, cause I think all my chapters are stupid😂

Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story

Sincerely, your favorite person with baby hands,

Me