Torment

Protein

For the rest of the day I kept myself to myself. I barely ate any of my protein block, only taking a single bite before placing the slab into my pocket. I believed it was almost evening, so I took to my bed in the hopes of having some down time. With the dull curtains drawn around my bunk, I cried silently in the little privacy I had. I didn't want anyone to see my sobbing. With Curtis, a natural leader, as my friend, and my role so crucial to the tail section, no benefit came from my fellow passengers seeing me at my weakest. Over the years I had seen so much, but the abuse that was inflicted onto the elderly couple today was the straw that broke the camels back. Sniffling as quietly as I could, I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. I sighed as I heard the commotion forming beyond my makeshift bed. I rubbed my face and finger combed my hair in an attempt to make myself look presentable, before sitting up from my damp smelling covers. As I took out my half eaten protein block and took another nibble my ears pricked up at the sound of Edgars voice. I looked to my left seeing his silhouette through my curtain.

"What does steak taste like again?" He asked with a mouthful of protein block. "I had it once, but I can't remember." Edgar finished shaking the block in his hand. I looked down guiltily, how could he have had it before? He's a train baby, he's known nothing apart from the Snowpiercer, the state of our mental health was far worse than I feared, Edgar had become just plain delusional. "If you can't remember then it's better to forget." Curtis's gruff voice replied bluntly. I could tell he'd walked past, and Edgar was about to follow. "What does it smell like when it's cooked? It must emanate around the place." Edgar was still going, and I couldn't help but heave as I looked to the disgusting protein block in my hand, god what I'd do for a steak. "Where's Hazel?" I heard Curtis question, I smiled at the thought of him looking for me before pulling my curtain to the side and giving him a soft smile as he turned his attention to the noise I caused. Curtis returned the gesture, but he looked stressed. He and Edgar made their way back over towards my bunk, but Curtis could obviously tell I'd been crying and gave me a puzzled look. I shook my head quickly dismissing his worries before hopping off my bunk and landing between the men. "Edgar, you need to stop talking about steak, I can't handle the torture!" I teased clutching my heart and laughing at my own actions.

Edgar smirked before turning on his heels and walking towards the end of our carriage, I went to follow, assuming that, as Curtis called for me that's where we were all heading, but instead, I was stopped by a hand wrapping around my waist. I halted, allowing the person to spin me around. Curtis still stood at my bunk, his eyes searching my own brown orbs. I was still blushing madly as Curtis's grip remained round my middle, but soon calmed as he took a step backwards and made eye contact with me. "Why were you crying?" He whispered moving back towards me again. I looked away, biting my thumb nail to take away his intense gaze. Realising I wasn't going to answer he placed a caring hand on my shoulder. I sighed looking into his blue eyes, surprising myself with how quickly I could still get lost in them. "Seeing Doris beaten today really got to me. I know I've seen worse, but it just broke my heart." I spoke truthfully. Curtis moved his hand from my shoulder and crossed his arms over his chest, nodding before he spoke up.

"Hazel, we're so close to taking on the front, I can feel it. Just a few more nights and it will be time." I nodded, trying to remove my stress by rubbing my face. "I just feel like I'm failing these people, Curtis, I'm meant to be a nurse, I want to save people but all I have are dirty bandages and a knife." I whimpered feeling utterly helpless. I looked to the floor once more, hating how pathetic I was being. But those feelings soon disappeared as Curtis placed a finger under my chin and lifted my head to look at him. "You are the smartest, most kindest person I know on this train." I blushed vividly as Curtis smirked removing his finger and slinging an arm over my shoulders, urging me to walk with him. "Thanks Curtis." I whispered, pecking his cheek with a quick kiss, hoping that I wouldn't be outright rejected. Instead he gave me an adoring smile, leaving me in complete mush as he removed his arm and headed towards one of the vulnerable ladies sitting before us. "Curtis, is this it?" She asked weakly as he took her hand. "It's not it" He replied quickly and apologetically, turning to me and tilting his head for me to follow before we continued walking through the carriage. "Curtis! Hazel! Here." A woman's voice called. I looked forward to see Edgar beside Tanya, a warm and loving African-American woman. I smiled at her as she returned the action. I watched as Curtis knelt down by her feet. Inside the lower bunk was Tanya's son, Timmy. I think he must have been around five years old now. I remember the day I delivered him, the carriage was full of laughter and since then Tim has brought nothing but joy to the tail section. Currently he was licking and chewing a protein bar that was clasped in between his sticky fingers, I waved playfully at him as he looked past Curtis and towards me. Clearly Timmy had something Curtis wanted. "Timbo! How's it hanging buddy?"

To capture his attention Curtis asked for a pow, before proceeding to carry out a well-executed handshake with the young boy, I couldn't help but grin at the cuteness. "Hey listen. I think I need that protein block. How about I trade you, this one for that one?" He asked looking to Edgar, who showed Timmy his own half eaten bar. "mmmm no?" the boy replied. "Nice bargaining power, Curtis. Here, give me this one, I'll give you that." Edgar abruptly stated leaning forward and trying to snatch the protein bar from the child's hand. "Relax, relax..." I cooed, knowing that's not how you tempt a child. Before Edgar could upset the kid anymore Tanya spoke up pulling Timmy onto her lap. "Come here, Timmy. Come right..." As she lifted him up I looked to him. "I have an Idea! why don't we trade your protein bar with this one." I pointed to Edgars bar, "And this one!" I explained extravagantly pulling my own protein block from my pocket, trying my best to make it look as appealing as possible. Curtis looked at me with soft eyes as Tim thought about it, but, not two seconds later did he reply with a stern "No." before hopping off his mother's lap and running off down the train.

"Go get him." Curtis ordered Edgar as he scratched his head and stood back up. As Edgar followed the boy calling his name and weaving in and out of the bunks, Curtis, Tanya and I followed. "Timothy, your mom is gonna give you a darn good spanking." Edgar shouted before looking back to us. "I dunno where the fuck he went?" Edgar continued as Timmy ran from underneath one of the beds, between his feet and under another bunk. "Hey, come here. Give it to me." Edgar screeched as he lunged for the boy. I couldn't help but giggle. "Hi Jose, how are you doing?" Edgar said quickly as he passed a fellow passenger still on the hunt for Tim. Disturbance above caught our attention and I couldn't help but smile as I watched the dexterous kid clamber across the top bunks out of Edgars reach. "Edgar, why did you let him get up there?" Tanya scolded as I giggled causing Curtis to smile and me to blush. God dammit I was being lustful today.

"No, I didn't, he got up there by himself. He's very nimble." Edgar said cockily, "He's five!" Tanya replied. "He's a very nimble five year old" Edgar joked causing me to snort. We were still following the boy along and as Tanya asked for him to come down the three of us stopped, looking up at him as he sat on a bridge, suspended above the walkway of the carriage, connecting the two rows of top bunks. Curtis looked to me before effortlessly grabbing hold of some nearby metal railings and hoisting himself up to Timmy's level. "What do you want for it?" Curtis whisper asked causing me to smile. "In the whole wide train?" The little boy asked, breaking my heart. "In the whole wide train?" Curtis repeated playfully. "The ball." Timmy replied boldly. I gasped dramatically, pretending that what he had asked for would cost us the world to get. Curtis glanced at me quickly before continuing with the act. "The ball? No. No, I'm sorry I can't do that. I can't do that." Curtis whispered in a daring voice as if it were a massive secret trade deal. "Yes, I get the ball for a whole hour." Timmy demanded. Curtis looked at me and I covered my mouth in fake shock. Curtis shook his head before clicking his tongue. "Done!" He agreed holding out his hand as Tim placed his protein bar into Curtis's grip. I smiled at the outcome as Curtis lowered himself down beside me. I still had no idea why he needed 'that' protein bar but I could tell it was important.

"Curtis. Is it time?" his mother asked as Curtis held the amber bar up to the light looking like he was searching for something hidden inside it. "Not yet, Tanya. Soon." He replied looking to me and nodding. I followed him towards the back of the train, heading for Gilliam's quarters. "What's this all about?" I asked as we neared the cornered off section. "Come, I'll show you." Curtis replied taking my hand and leading me through the curtain to Gilliam. I didn't know what was going on, but when it came to Curtis, he and I both know I'd follow him to the ends of the Earth.