Torment

2031

*Present day*

We had begun our journey onboard the Snowpiercer 17 years ago, the man-made ice age had never subsided, and the horror of life in the tail section only got worse. I sighed, a warm breath hitting the cold air as I stood from a crouching position to my full height. I looked at the wood beneath my feet, running my boot over the notches I had struck onto the floor with a knife I had been gifted with a long time ago. It confirmed that today was the 6,201st day we had been treated like animals. It was a weak attempt to keep some form of normality, to remember what day it was, a sort of calendar if you like. I was no longer a naive teen; I was now a 35-year-old woman. My once fair hair, sat just above my waist, hanging in wild untamed caramel curls. I hadn't seen a proper shower in almost two decades, so my olive skin held a constant tinge of grime, just like everyone else's.  Still the only nurse in the tail section, I was well respected by the fellow passengers. Over the years I had been onboard Snowpiercer, I had lost count of the babies I had delivered and the lives I had saved. Everything I had to do, every new obstacle I faced was a learning curve and there was no room for mistakes.

According to Wilford, Christmas Day had recently passed, and as a result, all in the tail section had been presented with this year's clothing. Just the one outfit, one outfit for the whole year. I had received a new pair of blue skinny jeans and a black thermal turtleneck. The clothes were form-fitting and hugged my thin physique, accentuating the slight curves my malnourished body had. I also received a pair of fingerless gloves and thermal socks along with a fleece-lined trench coach that swamped my petite frame. Sheathing my small knife into my utility belt, I fingered the bandages and little medical equipment I had attached to my waist. After seeing our struggles during the beginning years, Wilford's soldiers finally brought us supplies, there was very little, but every bit counted.

If my 'calendar' was correct I knew we were a few days out from the New Year, soon it would be 18 years onboard this Hell hole. I shook my head, sighing as I weaved in and out of our makeshift living quarters. As basically the dumping ground of the train, the tail section often received unwanted scrap metal, wood and damaged furnishings from the front.  Over the years, with a few forgotten and disregarded tools from the soldiers, we had created four-storey bunk beds that lined our carriages. We used cloth and ripped clothes as curtains for privacy and with metal drum bins the tail section had created nifty storage solutions and a back room for Gilliam, the man who made the first sacrifice and shaped the people we had become.

I was on my way to see Gilliam, we had plans and protocols that needed to be discussed regarding the injured and the new babies on board. As I pulled the collar of my coat higher, untucking my hair from my neck, the sound of the metal gate opening up ahead stopped me in my tracks. I held my breath spinning around to look at the guards who had just entered our carriage. One of them spat on the floor causing me to roll my eyes, a nearby child giggling at my actions. I smirked but quickly wiped it off my face as the second guard announced a head check. They did this every so often, it annoyed the shit out of me. Where did they think we'd go! I shuffled forward, grouping together with my peers looking for the familiar woolly hat I'd come to adore.

I rose up onto my tiptoes, scouting over the sea of heads for the man I relied so heavily upon. I sighed, wondering where he could've gotten too before a calloused hand brushed against my own. I looked down at our briefly touching hands and then up to the face, it had come from. There he was. There was Curtis. Mentally, the years hadn't been kind to him. As a younger man, he was always in the firing line for the guard's abuse and I'd always be there to clean his wounds. As the beatings got more intense Curtis rebelled and after two failed rebellions before him, Curtis had become determined to take the front. Of course, I stood by his side, we'd been close since we were teenagers and we had seen so much shit together that it was inevitable we wouldn't continue life onboard this train side by side. Curtis had grown into a man, and in many eyes like my own, we believed him to be a leader, the next after Gilliam.

His eyes were still a striking blue, but after the experiences he had faced, they'd clouded over and looked far more dangerous than I remembered all those years ago. Like many of the men onboard, Curtis's hair was shaven into a buzz cut and it only emphasized the unruly beard that dominated his facial features. He too had just received new clothing, but due to his hands-on role, they were already filthy. He had a thick black trench coat that fitted his muscular shoulders and finished just above the knee. He also had a thin thermal jumper like me, with black slacks, military boots and of course, his trademark beanie. 

As one of the guards told us to get in line, I smiled briefly at Curtis and stood in formation. Our friend, Edgar, soon appeared beside Curtis and flashed me a cheeky grin, before looking forward like the rest of us. The baby Curtis had spared, and Gilliam and I had saved, was now a mischievous young man, and a very close friend of Curtis's. It was silently agreed that Edgar would never know why his mother wasn't around anymore, and after those fateful first few months in the tail section,  everyone forgave and forgot what happened. But I always knew that Curtis had been affected more than others, and in an attempt to make amends, he took Edgar under his wing whilst Gilliam raised the orphan.

I couldn't help but glance quickly up at Curtis. Somehow, even by only eating very few of those godforsaken protein bars, the man was clearly well built. I guess all the work he'd done across the carriage over the years had paid off. His six-foot frame towered above mine, and his dry, but plump lips looked so inviting. I had to admit it, I hated to, but living in such close proximity with so many people, it was always unavoidable that I would fall for someone. But I didn't expect to fall so hard for Curtis. It was hard because our friendship was the only valuable thing onboard the Snowpiercer. Well, it was to me anyway, and I never wanted to risk anything because of a schoolgirl crush. But as I'd grown older and Curtis and I had matured, it was getting harder to keep those feeling's at bay. Despite his good looks, Curtis had always turned girls down, claiming he wasn't interested or had more pressing matters to attend to, and as far as I was aware, in the last 17 years, like myself, he's never had a partner romantically or sexually. I guess it was just too risky and too much of a liability on the Snowpiercer. Each day brought a new issue and not knowing whether your loved ones would die today, tomorrow or the next was probably a thought best not to have.