Stupid Boys

15 His Calves

It's midday on a Saturday and I'm bent over my desk, studying. I thought when I finished GCSEs that I would get a break, but no. Just four months of gigs and getting messed up with Jake. Now I've got more exams, something even bigger to work towards. And I hate working.

But what I hate more is overthinking. What I hate more is holding back from my phone.

I can't stand it, I grab my phone and flop onto my bed. I click on photos and stare at me and my best friend. There's this one photo from a couple weeks back, it's all blurry and there are flashing lights. It's from that day we went to the rave. Just a flash of his face.

"Fucking hell." I whisper and put my head in my hands. And I swear to god, I haven't cried since I was 13 years old and broke my ankle at a skatepark. But there's some kind of stinging in my eyes that hurt. And no matter how much I try and turn it into anger, tears fall down my cheeks. I yell into my hands and hear my door squeak open. When I look up my sister, who I haven't seen in days is standing on the other side. She has ink on her lips and is wearing a slightly damaged version of the clothes I last saw her in. She's staring at me like one of those bush baby things.

"Fuck off!" I yell to her but she doesn't even flinch. Instead she just stands there, in the doorway like she's one of those little girls from a horror movie.

"What's wrong?" she says completely bluntly and I roll my eyes and throw my phone at her. She catches it perfectly and turns it on.

"How do you know my password?" I growl. She sighs and throws my phone back to me.

"Told you you were gay." she smiles and turns around.

"Fuck, why can't you just be normal." I moan and kick my door shut. But she speaks through it,

"Yeah. But I'm not. I'm not that sister that you can talk to about your weird fucked up love life. And I can't be sad with you when dad leaves it doesn't effect me the same. So I'm sorry that you got me instead of someone normal. But it's not my fault." her voice comes through clear and her footsteps as she leave are soft and padded.

I don't need someone normal. I'm not normal.

"Oh, and I'm going on a date with Olly." she shouts through the walls and I sit up immediately.

"What?" I ask.

"Have you seen his calves?" she yells back and laughs an evil villain laugh.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Three booming knocks on the front door. A slow pattern that I recognise. I get up and rush to the door. And sure enough,

"Hey." Jake says smoothly with a scowl on his face. He pushes past me and turns around.

"Your sister licked my face." he says. Something I definitely wasn't expecting. He turns his face and I see smudged ink across his left cheek.

Tell him kings.

"Oh my god." I say in disbelief.

"And she told me to talk to you. And I said no. But now I'm here." he spins around and walks up and down the hallway. He stops at the mirror and stares at his reflection. He laughs deeply and turns to me.

"Tell me what? That we kissed?" he says and I feel my mouth physically open.

"You think I didn't hear in the bathroom? That only homophobia pricks my ears up enough to listen and not even the mention of my name." he prowls and walks towards me.

"Jake, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it." I apologise frantically. He nods and turns away again but this time walks up the stairs.

I'm scared.