Stupid Boys

08 Your Absence

The umph-umph beats of the club vibrate through my body and deafen me. So many colours flash past my eyes so quickly I feel like I'm going to have an epileptic fit. Along with Ramir's Ralf Lauren jacket that makes him look like a chameleon.

"Let's go!!!" he yells through the music, jumping up to the crowd and trying to squeeze in to mosh. Joe grabs my hand and takes me in after him, his phone in his other. Tyler said he'll meet us but I can't imagine he'll be able to find us.Especially Ramir, who I've already lost to the concept of colour.

We bounce and jump to the sounds. Jake is the farthest thing from my mind. We're like a massive blob, barely moving from birdseye view. But inside this blob is mad. There's one rule in a rave- jump of die. You will get absolutely smashed up and I mean smashed, like getting-stepped-on-the-head smashed if you don't jump and scream to the music. I'm genuinely impressed when I see Joe filming with his phone without the crippling fear of dropping it and losing it forever.

I jump my way out to freedom, sweat already surrounding me and everyone who I was just with. Thankfully there's a coat closet that I put my wallet in because I'm not stupid. Like Ramir, who kept his coat still on in that hot mess with all of his belongings.

"Uh.. number 309." I tell the lady handling the coats and take out my credit card, handing the coat back, "Cheers."

The bar isn't swarmed, it never is at a rave because everyone's on drugs so they don't care about drunk. I however, am never taking drugs and going to a rave again. Never.

"Hi, could I have a shot of vodka? Ta." I say punchily and sit myself onto the bar stool.

"Hey." someone says from my right and I slowly turn to face the male voice. It belongs to a guy, a normal looking guy. Well, except for the fact that he has bright orange hair and glitter on his eyelids.

"Hi." I say kindly back.

"You do know that this is a rave, right?" he nods towards the blob and then to me, the only guy at the bar. I shrug and put my head in one hand, leaning towards him with my elbow on the shiny wood.

"Yeah, but I'm the only guy at this rave not high. Need something to make me not hurt when I get elbowed in the gut." I say, smiling as the guy laughs a hearty laugh. It's the kind of bellowing laugh that makes it hard for me to not join him. It's how I've always imagined the good stranger, with a big, nice laugh.

"Well, I'm not high." he says as my shot arrives. He then orders one for himself, takes mine and shoots it down before I can.

"Hey!" I shove his shoulder and he laughs. His shot arrives and I instantly take it and swallow the sharp liquid, feeling it like acid pouring down my throat in a thin stream. The music is so loud but it's a little more secluded at the bar. I stay there for a second, not wanting to go back to the deafening noise and violence.

"I'm Luca." he smiles and I stare at his face a little more, judging on whether he's hispanic or not. Either way, he looks like a movie star.

"K— Kyle." I slowly decide. Kingsley would send him walking.

"Let's dance." he winks and grabs my hand, pulling me back into the jumping. This time I don't feel like I'm wanting to escape. I don't feel like I'm about to be killed; I barely know this guy but he makes me feel safer. We start dancing together, making punk rock faces to each other. The music just feels like a warm buzz in my ears.

And I think: I think about Jake, I think about Bianca, I think about Harper and I think about Harper and Jake. I think about me and Jake. And something along those thoughts fuels me with emotion and move my head towards Luca's, pressing my lips to his. It's like something you see in the movies - the smiling and the sweat and the spit as you kiss a random stranger in a club. The sweet taste and smell of vodka and weed. The feel of his hand cupping my cheek enlightens me. It all enlightens me.