Her Last Goodbye

Chapter 5

When she went through the front door of her house, Meghan saw a note taped to the TV.
It read:
Meghan,
Sorry for not being home. I just got notice that I need to work late today and I won't be home until a little before dinner. Sorry. I'll pick up things for more pizza on my way home so we can watch Twilight together! Love you lots!
,Mom <3
Perfect. Now what was Meghan going to do? She hadn't realized she started walking until she was in her mom's room. She hadn't realized her feet were still moving until she had her mom's closet door open and she was digging through a pile of junk. She didn't try to interfere; she was intrigued what she was looking for. She finally found what she was looking for, but when she held it up, her heart stopped. Well, them rather. She had in her hands a gun and a knife. She was scared, but she didn't put them down. Without trying, she thought of something she had never thought of before.
Meghan walked very slowly to her bedroom and laid the gun and knife on her desk. She looked at them for a long time and began gathering other things without thinking. When she had finished, there were 2 new things on the desk. Her pile now contained the gun, the knife, 4 bottles of pills, and a razor. "I don't know....." Meghan thought, hesitating. "But you have to, this is the perfect time." She objected herself. She knew that side of her was right; she really did only have this time to do it. She looked back at all the contents and picked up a notebook and a pen. She scribbled down a note to her mom.

It read:
Mom,
I'm so sorry. I love you so much and I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to survive this battle I'm fighting between myself. I love you, and please don't cry because I'm right here crying with you. I will always be here for you, even though I'm not really here. Please know that this is not your fault and I really do love you to no end. It's just too hard to keep going on with this war I'm fighting. I lost my war; please try to win yours if this put one on you. I'm sorry, and please keep fighting even though I didn't. I'm too weak and I know how strong you are, so please keep fighting. I love you so much, but I'm running out of paper space, so this is it. Goodbye, mom.
, Meghan <3
She sighed as she carefully placed the note on her bed. She would miss her mom to no end. That was all she had left, no friends, no family. Her father shot himself when he was drunk when Meghan was a little girl. Her mother had always been there for her; and now she was going to take away the one thing her mother had. Meghan's grandma (her mother's mother) always hated her. It was hard to see them fight and yell and throw things when Meghan was little. That's why they moved to the other side of the country and her mom tried to be so nice and understanding towards Meghan. And now, she was going to do the unspeakable to a broken home. She would implicit a lifetime of loneliness on her mother. First her mother hated her, then her husband shot himself and now.....this. But Meghan knew what she had to do to keep herself from drowning in this ocean of sadness and that was to make a rescue helicopter for her and....die. Just let it happen. Let the black water choke her and let her sputter as her life pooled out of her and added to the ocean where someone else would start to drown. This thought called Meghan as she chose what she would do. The thought was to be free of the chains. Of the water. Of the drowning. To escape.
Meghan looked at the gun. "That would leave a mess that would have to be cleaned up by my mom. It would leave a stain and all she would remember whenever she saw whatever it stained was this day." She thought as she tried to think of what to use. She looked at the knife. "A better option; less messy. But let's keep looking." She looked at the bottles of pills. "No messes, but there's more of a chance I'd survive. Then I'd never have this chance again and my mom would know." She looked at the razor. "Way too messy!" She began to mark some off her 'list'. "The gun and the razor are definitely out...so that leaves the pills and the knife. But I don't want to survive this. I want to leave. And there is no way I can plunge the knife into me deep enough. I would only walk away wounded. So that leaves me with the pills." She thought, picking the pills up and putting all the other things away.
Meghan took a deep breath, placed the note beside her, and carefully positioned herself on the floor. Cold tears began to flow as she looked around her room she had been in since they moved here. She was going to miss this place and especially her mom. Just before she was about to gulp down the pills, she thought of something. She quickly picked up the notebook again and scribbled down a second note.
It read:
Dear Jane,
You know this whole thing is your fault. I can feel that you know already. I can see your white face as they hand you this note. I can hear your sobs as you realize what you have done. And I just want to ease your suspense; because it really is your fault. And though you usually are wrong on so many levels this time, you're right. You were the problem. And now I'm gone. Sorry to disappoint you, though. I probably did not suffer, and no, I did not make scene about it in public to help hide your hideous face. You're a room emptier any day. I won't continue to waste my breath much longer, but only to say this (and please pass it on to Jonathon). I hate you both; I really truly do to the bottom of my heart. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. And I hope I see you both in h*ll really soon! Chao!
-Meghan <3
At least she got it out of her system. Now she felt ready to do this. She positioned herself on her bed to look like she was asleep; notes spread around her. She held the pills in her hands and she took a shaky sigh. She quickly gulped down the pills. Meghan knew this wasn't going to last very long. She took a peek inside the containers filled with pills and gulped them all down. And now she waited. Her head began to swim. She started to feel dizzy. She tried shaking her head and darting her eyes across the room to see if it would go away. It didn't work. She started to feel sleepy....then even sleepier.....then it got worse and worse. She knew what was happening. She was dying. She saw the edges of her room begin to quiver; as though they were bursting through the seams. Meghan tried to look closer with her tired eyes and saw a black trickle of something escape through the seams.....water? No, it couldn't be. But it looked like it. The water came in bigger streams as it found bigger ways of getting in. Soon, there was a pool of it going up in Meghan's room. The windows burst and the closet door and main door opened to reveal only black water. It was so scary.
"Mom.....mom....please....help." Meghan tried to cry out, only to make no sound at all. The blackened water was pooling over the bed. Meghan was scared. She wanted to be sitting on the couch watching Twilight and eating pizza with her mom. She wanted to be in her arms. She wanted to tell her everything. She wanted to even be in school being pushed in the walls by Jane. She wanted to be anywhere but here. The black water was about to cover her face. Wherever the water touched her, she was numb. She tried desperately to move; to leave this water and try to get her mother before it engulfed her. But her arms and legs wouldn't move; it was as if she was stuck to her bed as the water came dangerously closer and closer to engulfing her entirely. She tried to hold her breath and wait for her arms and legs to wake up. But her lungs felt frozen too; they wouldn't inhale any of the air Meghan was desperate for. She lay on her bed helplessly as her whole room was filled with the black water. Her lungs screamed as she tried to find some way of getting air. Her vision was blurred and everything soon went black.