Her Last Goodbye

Chapter 4

~*third chapter today*~
When she was home, she lied and told her mom she was alright and that there was just an early dismissal and she had tripped and gotten a black eye and went straight to her room. She picked up her journal again.
"Why am I so hated? Why don't I have any friends? Why doesn't anyone understand me?" She wrote as hot tears fell onto the pages. Oh, how she hated those tears that always came at the wrong times to show she was weak.
"The thing about pain is it demands to be felt." She wrote again, her favorite quote. It was so true. It reflected her life.
"Why are you so stupid?!"She yelled at herself, punching her desk.
"What was that?!" her mom yelled from the other side of the house.
"I just dropped something, mom! Everything's alright!" She lied.
She got out her computer and went onto Facebook, knowing all she would find was hate mail; she opened up the messages anyway and read through them.
"Everybody hates you." "Can't you just go away?" "I wish you would just die."
She went to the 'Delete My Account' page and filled out the reason of why she was deleting it.
"Everybody hates me." She wrote in the box and went to the 'Delete Account' button. She closed her computer; it wasn't even worth it to go on YouTube at this point, it would just make her feel worse that they're all so happy and she was so sad. Instead, she opened her journal.
"How can I be surrounded by so many people and yet still feel so alone?" she wrote. She really didn't know the answer to her own question. But she had too much to handle and she knew she couldn't survive the battle between herself without a few battle scars. Walking across the room, she wondered if this was the right thing to do but it didn't matter anymore as she picked up the scissors. She sat on her bed and took a deep breath as she sliced the sensitive skin on her arm. It hurt, but it felt good to feel a different sort of pain. She only did it a few times more; knowing that if she continued she would bleed out and her mother would be devastated. She picked up a tissue and wiped off the blood from the scissors and studied her arm.
"Is this really what my life has come to?" she wondered to herself. "Keeping big secrets from my mom and cutting my wrist like any loser of a teenager would if they had problems?"
But she just put the scissors down and let her arm settle before wiping it off as well. She would give it a few days before making a decision whether to stay or go but right now, all she wanted to do was go to sleep and be happy in her dreams.
***
The next morning was the same again, except instead of her usual short sleeved shirts she was wearing a sweater and packed a long-sleeved shirt in her bag just in case; she didn't want to take any chances.
The day went by with all the taunting, laughing, pointing, and the newest one; hitting and punching. After she was finally done in Math, Meghan had Gym class. She hadn't thought of this; the rules in Gym were:
You need to wear gym appropriate shoes
1) You need to wear comfortable gym shorts
And the really sketchy one:
2) You must wear short sleeved shirts or tank tops.
This was bad; no, this was REALLY bad! Meghan had only brought a long-sleeved shirt and she didn't want to attract attention to her cuts.
As she was pacing around the locker room the Gym teacher, Mr. Clyrofere, knocked vigorously on the door.
"Hurry up in there, girls!! Class is starting soon! You have 3 minutes before you've got a 0 today!" he bellowed.
"Oh no, oh no, this is bad!!" Meghan thought as she imagined the faces of the students who would see her exposed arms. She looked around desperately as she tried to find a solution. "If I only had some sweatbands!" she thought. But her time was almost up. Just as she was about to give up and face the misery, she thought of something. She took the long-sleeved shirt she brought and quickly ripped off the sleeves. "Yes!" she thought with joy as she wrapped the tattered pieces onto her line-filled arms. It worked! They looked fine! And if anyone tried to ask what it was and get any hast ideas, she would just say that it was some makeshift sweatbands! It was fool-proof!
Meghan marched out of the locker room just as the Gym teacher was picking up his whistle to assemble the class. Perfect!! So far, this was going great! She quickly fell into the circle that the rest of the class was in around the Gym teacher.
"So, class, today we are going to-!" he started, turning to Meghan. "Maggie?!"
She gulped. "May I remind you that my name is Meghan, sir?" She asked as politely as she could.
"No, you may not, Maren! But may I ask you what that sh*t is on your arms?! Go wipe it off and meet us back here!" he yelled, as he usually did.
"Um, it's some make-shift sweatbands, sir." Meghan replied nervously.
"I don't like your tone, Magpie! Or those sad excuses for sweatbands, here, in GYM CLASS we only use quality equipment or none at all! Take them off!" he bellowed.
Her heart fell to the floor. Her stomach turned. Her head swam. But she had no other choice. Everyone else was staring at her. Meghan held her breath as she slowly started to unwrap her arms from the itchy cloth. As soon as she had finished, she heard everyone gasp. Meghan looked down to see that the itchiness of the shirt had scratched her cuts, making them worse. They skin around them were now a soft purple.
"What did you to yourself, Marie?! Go do laps until the end of class while the rest of us will have free time!!"
Everyone laughed. "Let's just get this over-with." She sighed as she tried to walk to the other side of the gym to start. She only took 3 steps before Jane stuck her foot out and Meghan fell. Her face skidded on the gym floor and she looked up just in time to see Jane's foot slam onto her nose.
"Oops! Sorry!" Jane laughed as she kicked her side and skipped to the side where everyone else was having free-time.
Meghan picked herself up off the floor and ran to the door. She didn't stop running as she ran down the long hallways and burst through the front door.