“Hey, kiddo,” my brother exclaimed when his face popped up on the computer screen, making me smile when I saw that familiar room of his in the background; he doesn’t live with our mom, he just stays there when she needs him and I’m guessing she does. Jake lives with his pregnant wife whose probably in the house somewhere with our mother, and our many (six) animals.
Jake’s hair proved that he had just woken up not too long ago, and his hazel eyes looked half dead as well with dark circles starting to form underneath them. Ever since his wife got pregnant he’s been losing sleep, which probably adds to sleep he needs to catch up after spending days in the hospital for our mother last year; it was stressful for everyone, I almost failed my first year of college. My older brother ran a hand through his dark brown hair and let out small sigh.
“Hi,” I replied with a smile still on my face. I miss him so fucking much.
“How’s the college life?” he asked.
“It sucks, last night I had to take two tests and an essay due and then earlier today I had to take another test,” I paused and put my hands over my face, “it gets worse with each passing day, how the hell did you survive?”
Jake chuckled and I uncovered my face. “No idea, Faith, but I barely did. But, hey, you’ll get a cool job once you’re done!”
I glared at my brother. “Two more damn years, Jacob, two more.”
“Jesus Christ, you’re overreacting!” he laughed. “Faith, seriously, just believe in yourself and don’t stress so much. The next two years will fly by, you won’t even notice until you graduate, honestly. Then you can get a job as a mental health nurse somewhere like you’ve always wanted to.”
I just shrugged. “But… Gosh, Jake, I don’t know if I still want to be that or drop out and try to become a singer.”
“Okay, first off you are not dropping out like I did in the beginning- it was stupid,” Jake said in a serious tone. “Secondly, the singing career might take even longer.”
“Whatever,” I mumbled and leaned my elbows on my knees, putting my chin in on hand as the other went limp. “How’s Momma?”
Sadly, Jake got even more serious once I asked that question. His face didn’t have that humor look it did when he talked a few seconds ago; it was replaced with a sad, serious look that has always frightened me because it usually means something bad or I’m about to get in trouble with my older brother. Sighing, I looked away from my laptop and off to the muted TV that has Say Yes to the Dress on at the moment. Everything stayed quiet for a few seconds which scared me even more, bringing tears to my eyes thinking about what’s happening with my mom.
The silence broke by Jake letting a loud sigh and I finally looked at him; his hands were covering his face as he shook his head slightly before sitting up and looking back at me through the screen after uncovering his face. Never in a million have I seen my brother the way he is now: tired, looking broken, miserable almost, and most of all just sad. So many emotions filled his eyes and were shown on his face that I absolutely hated it but I’m glad Jake doesn’t cover it up anymore just so he could act ‘strong’.
“You don’t have to tell me,” I said quietly, looking at the keyboard.
“You deserve to know-.”
“But I don’t want to, Jake!” I yelled slightly. “She’s getting worse, I know it, and all I want is for her to get better but nothing has seemed to go the way I want it these past few years so I’m guessing she probably has a certain number of days, huh?”
Jake blinked at me as I tried to hold back tears. “Faith, yes, she has gotten worse,” he paused. “But no the doctor hasn’t said anything about when she might die.”
