therapist | jack gilinsky

fourteen

silvanas pov

my eyes were steadily focused on my ceiling.

i just fucked my ex boyfriend. jack. i just fucked jack. in my office. on my office sofa, and i liked it. scratch that i loved it. god i've forgotten how good in bed he is.

i sighed and fixed my position upright beside him. this can't happen, i can't gain feelings for him again. i let out a huge sigh, and slowly shifted my thoughts, to my current situation.

i raised my arm from under him and checked the time.

6:44. great. session "overran"  by 45 minutes.

"jack, sit up." i say tapping his bare chest.

he rises from his position, and sits up. "what time is it?" he asks. i point my hand over to the digital clock on my wall. he glances at it and mumbles. "shit".

"jack. you need to leave." i say, bluntly.

"what?" he questioned. i look down at my bare lap and mumble "you need to leave." i repeat. he starts looking around with a confused look on his face.

"what do you mean?" he continues "i need to leave" he adds on.

"w- what did i do wrong?" he stutters.

i took a deep breath and turned to face him. i stared into his eyes and analysed his facial expressions. his brown eyes stared back into mine.

and just like that, all those horrifying memories came back. me walking in on him with his arms wrapped around madison, hearing the words "i'll cut it off with her as soon as she gets back.", and especially "i tried my best to make myself love you-" i shook my head rapidly, in order to try and shake off those thoughts.

i can't be with him. this can't happen again. "everything, jack"

"you did everything wrong." i added "you're the reason i'm here in this mess today. your part of the reason why my heart was broken twice as much as it shouldn't have." i paused 

"your the reason i'm still so insecure about myself." i took a huge breath to stop my tears  that were about to start rolling down face. 

"i can't let you back into my life, especially after i've just started getting back on track with everything." i shrugged looking back down on my lap. " i'm sorry"

i looked up at him, and he was just staring at me in pity.

"no, i'm sorry" he says before getting off the mini sofa and picking up his clothes, and begins dressing himself again.

once he's done. he picks his phone up off the table and exists my room. i sigh and lay my head back. what have i done? i have at least 5 lessons left with him.

at least i don't have to see him till next week. i let out another agitated sigh and went to pick up my clothes from the floor.

by the time it was 10 past 7, i had already gathered all my belongings and left the building. i entered my car and started the ignition. my phone automatically connected to the car's bluetooth and continued the song that was left on last which was 'bacc seat' by roddy ricch. i hummed along to the lyrics and parked up outside walmart.

i grabbed a shopping cart and began strolling with it. mid stroll i felt a little pain between my legs. i mentally winced and managed to keep walking.

curse me for keeping my legs closed all these years.

picking up the last few things on my shopping list. i make my way to self checkout and pay for everything, hearing the last store announcements blurt from the speakers, i made my way to the exit and to the boot of my car to load all the groceries there.