Stoic

Bright Lights

After I came home I think I cried for hours. Paisley laid in bed with me, "I'm sorry baby girl," she frowned. My phone started vibrating, I tossed it on the table. "Who is it?" I looked at my phone again, "uh it's Derek." I answered the phone, "Derek? Aren't you home?" His side was quite then he spoke up, "yeah, I was calling to see where you were." I sighed, "I've been home for almost 3 hours now, I'm in my room with Paisley." "Oh." Then his line died. I tossed my phone on the desk again. "Did he really not know you were home?" Paisley giggled trying to lighten the mood. "Paisley I love you for staying but you don't have to, you can go home if you want." "Don't be silly I'm staying the night!"

The next day at school I was in no mood for people. I stayed quite in each class. In art, Luke and Jase walked in together, "hey babe!" He kissed my head. I flinched, "I'm not your babe." I said coldly. Jase looked confused, "sis are you ok?" I snapped my head to Luke, "why don't you ask him." Jase turned to Luke who was just as lost. "I don't follow?" Luke sat down next to me and Jase sat on the other side of me.

I stormed out after class trying to hold back my tears, Jase followed closely behind me, "I swear to God I'll kick the crap out of him if you want, no little shit will get away for hurting my little sister!" I wiped my face, "wait Linh! I'm sorry! I wasn't fully aware of what was happening last night! I had a lot to drink and it happened so fast!" Luke came running up to Jase and me. "Bro, seriously you need to stay away from my sister for awhile, you've done enough damage." Jase put his arm up to keep Luke away from me. I rushed into the bathroom, I went to the stall to grab toilet paper and blew my nose. "I heard what happened, sorry for that." I looked over and Tracy stood there leaning against the sink, "um thanks." She went into the stall and grabbed more toilet paper and handed it to me, "look and I'm sorry for the bullshit freshman year. I had no right to be a bitch, I guess I thought I could because I mean everyone was rude to you and I wanted to fit in." I blew my nose, "it's fine, I got over it." Lies. Utterly, complete lies. I never got over it, it haunts me everyday. It lingers on me like ugly scars. "I guess, but um start fresh?" She ran her hand over the shaved patch of her head. "Hi I'm Linh Tylers," I extended out my hand. She smiled, she actually smiled, "hey Linh, I'm Tracy Mathews," and she shook my hand. Maybe she wasn't all that much of a snooty bitch.

"Why'd you shave your head?" I asked Tracy as we walked into the plaza. "Rebellious reasons, I had 'daddy issues'" she motioned air quotes. "Oh, yeah I know how it is with daddy issues," my voice trailed off. "What's it like being a twin? Is it weird seeing someone else with your face?" She laughed. I shrugged, "I forget I'm a twin cause Jase is constantly pestering me so I feel like I'm older or sometimes he'll try to tell me what to do and act like he's so much older than me but in reality he's older by 5 stupid minutes!" I laughed along with her. Paisley walked up to us and she raised her eyebrow at Tracy. "Paisley you remember Tracy from the roller rink, but we're totally cool now!" Paisley took a step forward then smiled, "nice to meet you." We all laughed and rambled on about all sorts of things. How Tracy likes this one boy who's in Paisley's class and is friends with Jase and how Paisley wants to shave her head like Tracy. Then the loud speaker interrupted us, "Will Linh Tylers please report to the office, Linh Tylers to the office, thank you." Paisley and Tracy looked at me and I got up. "Ooh are you in trouble?" "Uh oh did you steal expo markers?" They joked and I rolled my eyes, "I'll catch up with you sluts later."

I walked into the office and saw Derek and Jase standing there as well. "Oh good you're here!" The secretary said, "right this way!" She led the three of us into a conference room where the school funded family therapist sat and what the hell my parents? My hands went cold and my mouth went dry. I looked over to the boys who were taken aback as well, "what's all this?" Derek said looking between mom and the therapist. The therapist, Dr. Favier, cleared his throat, "well you all are here for a group session, your mom called the school to set this up, she tells me that since Jase and Linh were born your father hasn't been much of a father to Linh." My legs felt wobbly, and I thought I was going to faint. "Mom? You set this up?" Jase looked at her. "I had to! I wasn't going to let your dad continue to neglect Linh! It's heart breaking to see him love you two and not Linh!" Mom's eyes started to look glassy as she tried to fight back tears. "Isn't it a bit too late to work all of this out? I mean dad remarried already! And you've been divorce for almost 10 years now! I think it was a bigger issue when it first started, now it seems pointless to even try to change dad." Derek huffed. "I don't even want to be here." Dad said. Fuck he's not my dad. Screw him, he's just Mr. Tylers to me, he's fucking dirt to me. I balled my hands into fists, "can I just leave! I don't want to be in the same fucking room as him!" Dr. Favier's eyes widen and mom gasped, "honey watch your language!" My fist collided with the door, "no! Just stop! All of this, I don't need therapy, I don't help and I certainly don't need him." I looked at the door again and saw that I left a hole where I punched. "I want to be far from him, he's never loved me and nothing that anyone can do will fucking change that! He's a no good, poor excuse for a dad and I don't need shit from him!" I stormed out the door and ran through the parking lot. Fuck. It was pouring rain, how fucking wonderful. I kept running, my lungs tightened and my legs burned but I kept running. Why does mom think she can just make things all happy, she's not even home half the time to even see how I am. My vision started to blur, fuck what anyone has to say! I continued to run, I was breathing hard, gasping for air, I clutched my side where I felt a sharp pain. Fuck, I might be thinned out but I'm still athletically fat as I was years ago. I'm such a pathetic excuse. Hunter didn't want me, Luke didn't want me and fuck worse of them all, my own bloody biological father didn't want me. Everyone thinks it's all dandy, they think I'm not hurt by any of it, they think I have feelings of steel. All of them, people at school and my family, they all think I'm not offended by crap, but little do they know I'm just stoic, I can hide everything from the blank of my face. As I kept running, I was hit by bright white lights.
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That's the last thing I remembered when I woke up in the ER. The room seemed so small, and the only thing I could focus on was the heart monitor with it's irregular beeping. I groaned, fuck my head hurts. I looked down, I had a tube running up my nose, a soft cast around my neck, my left arm was casted, my right arm had an IV needle injecting some clear liquid from a bag into me, and I couldn't see my legs due to the blanket covering them. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Shit my ribs really hurt. "Good morning darling, how are you feeling?" The nurse said checking in on me. I looked at the heart monitor, "what happened?" She frowned, "well I guess you ran from school and before you made it home, you were hit by a car. It wasn't your fault, you weren't running in the street, it was dense with rain and the man who hit you was driving under the influence and dozed off and when he woke up he swerved and collided with you. You sprained your neck, broke your left arm, cracked two ribs and there was spine damage. You also need the oxygen tank because your ribs and spine were close to completely collapsing on your lungs." I shut my eyes, "my head really hurts right now, can I please get something for it?" She smiled and opened a bottle of pain killers, "here you needed to take these anyways." She gently fed me the pills and brought the water to my lips. "Thank you." She nodded, "if you need anything else, just buzz me." She place the caller in my right hand, "also please try to lay still, you're in critical condition if you haven't noticed." She walked out and I heavily sighed then winced in pain. He should've hit me harder, he should have just ended it for me. I was taken out of my thoughts when Derek walked in. He looked like a mess. "Linh! You're awake! Jase she's awake!" Jase ran into the room, he looked like a mess too. He came to the side of my bed, "oh my god Linh! How are you feeling?" I looked between the two, "how long have I been here?" Jase looked at Derek then spoke up, "three days now. Doctor said you were in a not so severe, mild coma, but really I think you were just sleeping." Derek touched my hand, "do you remember what happened?" I shook my head, "no but the nurse told me what happened." Derek's jaw clenched, "son of a bitch was drunk driving and was on something, he could've killed you!" Derek was flustered, I held his hand, "but I didn't, I may be fucked up but I didn't die." He smiled and gently placed a kiss on my head. I looked at Jase, "um is the driver ok?" They both looked at each other, Jase huffed and Derek scoffed, "yeah he's fine, he got away with a broken leg. Doctor said because you're so small and also because he was driving a large truck, you had major damage." I closed my eyes, I felt the pain killers slowly kick in. "If anyone tried to visit me, I only want Paisley Braxton and Tracy Mathews allowed in." I opened my eyes and both my brothers looked confused, "Tracy Mathews? The same bitch that bullied you freshman year?" Derek said sternly. "It's ok, she apologized and I forgave her. Plus we started fresh. So we're on good terms." I said lightly tightening my hold on Derek's hand. "Fine, I guess. I'll go tell the front desk then." He walked out of the room and Jase looked at me, "it's amazing what you can do. The situation you were in freshman year, everyone bullying you and to think Derek and I didn't do anything. But you got better, all on your own, you're strong in heart and mind. And you forgave the people that hurt you the most and if you didn't forgive you certainly forgot. Not a day goes by that I think I'm a shitty brother." Tears were streaming down his face, I put my hand on his, "don't be so hard on yourself, I'm fine. I learned from it and I am who I am because of it."

[(A/N): hope you guys enjoy! I wrote this in like an hour and a half while having a billion things going through my head at once so hopefully this makes sense and isn't shitty! Comment what you think! xoxo]