Thoughts From A Victim

Dear _____,

You were just supposed to be a distraction,

A distraction from him and all of the heartbreak that I knew was to come.

And I know what you're thinking,

No, this is not a love letter.

I knew that he had me completely wrapped around his finger,

But the more that I chased him,

The more I found myself wrapped up in you.

Wrapped up in your arms,

Wrapped up in your kiss,

Wrapped up in your touch,

Wrapped up on your couch,

With my head on your chest.

I overlooked you,

Because I was too busy chasing someone that was trying so hard to push me away.

Someone that didn't hold my hand,

Someone that didn't talk to me,

Someone that didn't make me feel wanted,

And I never really realized how much I wanted you until you wanted a break.

No I don't want to lose you,

You're the only one that makes me forget him,

You're the only one that makes me feel in control,

You're the only one that makes me forget about the horrible things they say about me,

You make me forget that your friends only think terrible things when they hear my name.

Because you don't point out the fact that I've spent the last four years in a downward spiral,

You don't point out the fact that I've made so many mistakes,

You don't point out my insecurities.

You just hold me and make me feel comfortable and at home.

I'm never nervous when I'm with you,

I'm just scared when you're not around,

Because I don't want to lose you.

Friends or more,

I don't care,

It doesn't matter,

Just please don't walk out of my life.

You promised me that you wouldn't cut me off completely throughout this break,

You pinky promised in fact,

And you can't break those, ya know?

-xoxo