Thoughts From A Victim

When do good memories turn into horrific ones?

How do I look back and love someone and a minute later wait for them to crash and burn?

How can you look at me as a little sister one second and another look at me like a conquest?

Someone to hurt,

Someone that doesn't matter,

Just another girl to fuck.

No matter the cost,

No matter how much I cry,

No matter how much I scream,

No matter how much I fight,

No matter how far you need to go.

You could've killed me,

You would've killed me,

You almost killed me.

With your hands wrapped around my neck,

With the vomit I almost choked on,

With the pills you got me hooked on.

I loved you,

Now I hate you,

You never loved me,

You couldn't have.

You can't break, hurt, torcher, and rape someone that you love,

And take their innocence,

While they beg you to let them go.

I can't forget,

But you can,

You can go snort cocaine in a bar,

And take a girl home.

I wasn't old enough to go to a bar,

But I can take a guy home,

And then start to cry

When he touches me the way you did.

Maybe I have PTSD?