Justin helped me pack my things up, and he was going to drive me over to Vic's. I couldn't wait to see what he had planned for us. I loaded the last box into the car and waited for Justin.
"I can't believe you aren't going to tell him." Justin said for the third time, shaking his head in disapproval. I glanced at him and sighed.
"I can't, Justin. Believe me, I, more than anyone, want him to know the truth, but I can't lose him. He's part of me now, and I refuse to hurt him." I said it to him, but I was also still trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. I saw Justin shake his head slightly before he started the car and started driving.
The drive was mostly silent, aside from the Green Day playing in the background. Before my life was thrown off track, I always pictured myself in the music career. I wasn't terrible at singing, according to Matty. I thought about how Matty would view my life. Would he want me to tell Vic? Who am I kidding...of course he would. He would want me to tell him because facing the truth is better than living a lie.
We pulled into Vic's driveway, and I pushed the thoughts away.
"I'll help you take boxes in," Justin said, slipping out of the car. We each grabbed a few boxes and headed toward the front door. I pushed it open with a smile and was greeted by an angry looking Vic. I immediately replaced the grin with a frown and set the boxes down.
Vic barely looked at me before his gaze fell on Justin.
"Get out." He demanded, surprising both of us. Justin set the boxes he had been holding on the floor.
"Kellin still has boxes in the car--"
"Leave them on the porch." Vic growled. I didn't like this at all. Justin gave me a sympathetic look before ducking out and closing the door behind him. I stood frozen and I felt Vic's eyes on me.
"What was that about?" I asked, meeting his angry eyes.
"You tell me, Kellin." He growled, thrusting an envelope at me. I stared at it and then looked at him with a questioning expression. He didn't care to answer my questions though.
"Fucking open it!" He yelled, startling me. What could he possibly be so mad about? I didn't want to question him again though. I didn't think twice before tearing the envelope and taking out three photos. My stomach knotted as I glanced at each one.
The first one was me slamming Mike's face into the wall. The second was me pushing his face in the toilet. And the third was me propping his dead body up against the stall. My hands began to shake, and I started sweating enough to bathe in.
"Something you'd care to tell me?" He demanded with as much sarcasm as I've used in my entire life.
"How did you get these?" I asked, not daring to meet his face again. He scoffed and started pacing.
"Why don't you ask your friend Aria. Kellin explain the photos right now." He seethed. I didn't say a thing; I just stood there in silence. Vic marched up to me and slapped me in the face with such force I actually stumbled.
"Tell me!" He screamed.
"I killed him, okay?!" I turned away from him because I couldn't bare to look him in the eyes. Everything was silent. I turned to explain, but was met with his fist. I felt the blood oozing from my nose instantly. I looked into his eyes. They no longer held rage, only hurt and confusion.
"How could you do that? Mike never did anything to anyone..." He trailed off, walking away from me. I put my hand on his shoulder and he turned to me, eyes watery.
"Don't! Don't touch me!" He yelled, moving further away from me.
"Let me explain." I said, walking closer to him. He looked at me with an incredulous expression.
"No amount of explaining will erase what you've done." He whispered with a hint of bitterness.
"Please. Don't you want closure?" I begged. He couldn't even look at me, and it ripped my heart apart.
"Fine. You get a five minute explanation and then you need to leave and never come back. Do you understand what you've done to me, Kellin? I should have called the police, but I didn't! I couldn't...I needed to know the truth first. Now that I know you've actually done it, I still can't. Do you know why?" I shook my head slightly and he looked pained.
"Because I'm so in love with you that I can't bring myself to! You killed my brother, Kellin...and I can't even call the police. There's a part of me that would love to see them haul your ass to prison so that I'd never have to see you again. But the other part, the bigger part, won't let me. You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know why you did this, because no reason is enough." He looked at me with a look of frustration, and then he looked away.
"Leave, now. And never ever come back." He turned to me again.
"Don't text me. Don't call me. Don't send letters. I never want to hear from you again, Kellin Bostwick." He finished, tears sneaking out of his eyes. I turned to leave, but I stopped. I turned back and his back was to me. I could hear his sniffles.
"It's Quinn." I said, causing him to turn to me again.
"What?"
"My name isn't Kellin Bostwick, it's Kellin Quinn." Realization flashed in his glossy eyes.
"Oh my God..." He whispered, "Oh my God, I should've figured it out. You killed your own parents..." He trailed off and his face held more hurt than it did before. "I don't even know who you are. For all I know, you did this out of pity for killing Mike. Was anything we had real?"
"Of course it was real, Vic...please let me explain. And then I'll walk out that door and you'll never hear from me again." I pleaded. He glanced at the door and then finally nodded in defeat.
"I'm Kellin Quinn, and I'm seventeen." He gave me a horrified look.
"Kellin...we..." I nodded.
"Kellin, that's illegal!" He shouted. I walked over to him and made him look at me, despite his attempts to swat my hands away.
"Vic, it's fine. No one else knows. I would never dream of using this against you, and I don't think you'd turn yourself in." I smiled, but he didn't. He only grabbed my hands and put them back at my sides.
"Okay well as I was saying, I'm seventeen. I've killed people before my parents." I looked to the floor because I couldn't handle the terrified look on his face.
"To this day, I'm not certain what triggered that horrible, ruthless beast. But I think Matty's death contributed a great deal. He was my only friend, Vic. He was the only one that was there through everything. The story about my parents always fighting...that was true. The only things I ever lied about were my name and age. Vic...I know that having a hard life isn't the excuse for killing people, but I was young. I still am...my teen years have been nothing but a string of bad events. I wanted to better myself. You made me want to better myself. And you are the reason I did. You've changed me so much. I can't lose you, Vic..." He didn't say anything for minutes. He just stood there and stared at the floor.
"Please say something." I choked on my words as I forced them out. I never in a million years thought that I'd be in this type of situation; loosing someone that I love with all that I am.
Without a word he walked over to the door and opened it.
"You need to leave now." The little ounce of hope that he'd forgive me faded as I looked at his blank facial expression. I walked to him and stopped right before the door.
"You can refuse to look at me, but there's not a way for you to stop hearing me. That being said...I love you, Vic. I love you with every fiber in my being. I am and always will be completely and utterly in love with you." I stood there for only seconds before I figured out he wouldn't be saying it back. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, finally going outside.
"What about your stuff?" He asked, still not looking at me. I shook my head.
"Keep it. Or throw it away, it doesn't matter." I said, but I didn't turn away. He met my eyes briefly, and his eyes told me everything that he couldn't.
Please leave before I let you stay. Please know that I'll always love you,too.
That was enough for me to finally turn around and walk away.
