When Pandora bleeds... (Shinkai)

Just Say Goodbye

Night after night, Kaito stared at the ceiling of hotel room after hotel room, unable to distract himself of the disturbingly growing urge.

Go back. Go back.

It even affected his shows to the point of being unable to concentrate. But why? Why should he go back and risk being noticed by media and his favorite Meitantei in return? Kaito knew it was a huge risk but the urge grew, together with Pandora's bleeding.

You need to go back. Go back. Go back.

Trembling, the man rolled onto his side in his bed and pulled out the glimming gem to stare into the calming reddish glow, it had become his source of warmth and comfort whenever Kaito felt upset. These visions were horrible enough and with each one, he urge to return to his home country became worse.

Maybe just a weekend trip? I could take a break of my tour and visit my old favorite places. Just... just to be satisfied.

Kaito paused, then groaned and pulled out his tablet. There was no chance he could go back without planning everything out. He had to search on Edogawa Conan to find out wether he still lived in Beika. Most likely, he thought, if he didn't return to Kudo Shinichi he was still a minor.

Indigo eyes grew wide in horror at the first article that popped up on screen, illuminating the darkness around him.

Impossible. This can't be true. No way. No. NO. NO!

Kaito looked down at the boarding pass he had just received from a friendly woman behind a reception desk, luggage already beyond and gone towards his plane. Was he really going to do this? Give in to this ridiculously strong and absolutely senseless urge to go back to Japan? But Kaito had to, he had to.
He had to say goodbye. Just say goodbye.

Kaito fell into deep thoughts while he took his sweet time reaching his gate, playing with Pandora inside his pocket. It had taken a good amount of work to hide the gem from security and thus, Kaito felt overall proud to have managed that. On the other hand, we was a retired phantom thief- it would be disappointing if he would have been caught.

Maybe check on Nakamori-keibu, he hadn't been the same since I retired.

Frowning, the male shook his head in disapproval of his own idea. He wasn't going to visit Nakamori-keibu, because he sure as hell didn't want to be reminded of his old childhood love. Watching people around him pass by in a hurry, Kaito allowed himself just the tiniest attempt of a smile below his latex mask of Kuroba Kaito. Maybe it would do good to him just to breathe Japan's air again and wander a bit around Ekoda. He could just take on a disguise and the risk of him running into somebody he knew was close to zero. It could also be fun to mess with people again like  he used to do as a teenager.
More and more, Kaito began to look forward to this tiny adventure. He would rent a hotel room in Tokyo and enjoy his stay, maybe wander once through his old neighborhood in Ekoda and eat his favorite ice cream at his former favorite ice cream parlor.

Somehow, he had to distract himself from the true reason of his journey. A nauseous feeling settled into his gut while his thoughts drifted back to the article. This wasn't possible to him, it just couldn't have been true. Edogawa Conan wasn't dead, it wasn't possible.
Tears had streamed down his cheeks at the large and black headline slammed into his face, Kaito remembered himself screaming and howling into the pillow in frustration and despair. Edogawa Conan had been something akin to a soulmate to him, someone who understood him and made him feel like himself even if he was wearing the mask of someone else.

Kaito took a deep shaking breath to remain calm. It wasn't good to loose his pokerface inside an airport. He just needed to end this entire story and say goodbye to his worthiest rival. Even using his real name, Kaito had decided it would be best to fly economy so he wouldn't arise any suspicions. He just blended as easy as ever into the mass while he told suspicious security staff he was travelling privately.
It sounded like a good idea to sit down near his gate and just mind his own business, it was a good way to keep track of his thoughts and go over the recent events.

Important to him was the exact reason why he wanted to fly to Japan. The urge, the pull, the incredible feeling to go back had been there before he had seen the news of Edogawa Conan's death. What exactly was pulling him there? Kaito had enough of blaming his own homesickness, it had been fine all those years away from home and now all of a sudden it hit him? That was most unlikely.
Another sigh of distress escaped the male while he buried his face deeper into his fluffy shawl. It had to be Pandora, but what exactly was it he had left in Japan?

...Pandora's second half. I left it inside Kudo Shinichi. I kept it there. Does it want me to find it? Does Pandora want to be whole again or am I just getting overboard?

Kaito was hesitant to believe and at the same time ignore his musings. After all, Pandora was everything but a lifeless stone to him, who knew its secret and powers. Pandora had started to bleed when it had been parted from his other half the next full moon.
Frowning, the magician felt for his own half of the gem as usual. Did Pandora have the power to regenerate itself? Was its 'blood' a mere selfproduced glue to fix itself? Kaito knew just too well how bothersome this fluid was, he had accepted the fact since long that his skin wasn't going to return back to normal.

Kaito flinched out of his deep thoughts as the flight attendant announced them ready to board. Setting up a friendly smile, Kaito rose from his seat, still unable to quieten his own mind down. Slightly nauseous and uneasy, Kaito boarded the plane, clutching his small bag with various entertainment choices for himself to spend the time in his hands, throwing a last glance back to the airport.

Just say goodbye and come back. Just say goodbye.