Dazai's List of Don'ts

The Tragedy of the Fatalist

Season 1: Episode 4 (SUBBED)

To: Osamu Dazai

From: Fynn Lind

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The workday was slow. Dazai wasn't doing his work and neither was I. Kunikida was keeping himself extra busy because of what happened and he was essentially panicking over the Port Mafia possibly attacking the Agency. Atsushi was also doing some simple work and worrying over his experience with Akutagawa.

Dazai and I were chilling at the cafe downstairs once again. As I was walking back over to the booth from the bathroom I spot Dazai fawning over the waitress. Rolling my eyes I strut over to them, standing right beside Dazai who doesn't notice me. The waitress stands across from the bandage-wasting device. He holds her right hand in both of his, stroking it gently. 

"A reason to live?" Dazai wonders. "No, a reason I'd kept on living till now." He sparkles, causing me to roll my eyes at his actions. Is he forgetting about me? The one person who's gotten him through eight years of his life. "That's right. I've lived to this day so that I can be in a double-suicide with you. I'm sure of it. Ah, Belladonna." 

Groaning, I plop down in the booth seat with Dazai, forcefully bumping into him. Doing so it dislodges him from the poor lady as I push him over. He grunts in pain as his face plants into the booth seat. I laugh at him, though I laugh even more at the waitress's reply to his words.

"Feel free to do it on your own." She states smiling in that customer service type way. Dazai abruptly sits back up, elbowing me to push me away. I grunt at the sudden action and glare at him.

"A double-suicide is not possible alone." He gushes grabbing the waitress's hand again.

"By the way, Dazai? Do you have a proper life insurance policy?"

"Why would you ask that, Belladonna?"

"Well... because you have racked up quite a tab. If you haven't gotten one yet, I'll be happy to refer you one." It takes Dazai a second to process her words before he dramatically reacts, like always.

"Ah, your vitality is blinding." He cries, letting go of her hand and sweeping his arms around his head to 'block' himself.

"Ah, if that's the best you've got for changing the subject, I'm going to go ahead and barge into your agency on the fourth floor."

"Ah, your decisiveness is even more blinding."

"You know what's even more blinding?" I ask Dazai, coming inches away from his face. "My fist connecting with your face at lightning speed." I bunch up my fist and wave it at his face. The waitress leaves us immediately. Dazai itches the back of his head sheepishly.

"I almost forgot you were here, Fynn!" He chuckles with a closed-eyed smile. "You're just so silent!"

"I hate you." I grumble, turning away from him and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Wait! No! Fynn don't hate me!!!" He whines, throwing his arms around me. "I need you to not hate me, Fynn!!" He cries out while rocking us back and forth, childishly. 

"Let go!" I grunt trying to pry him off of me. "We have no time for this!! We need to get back to work!"

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Today's uploaded date: 7/26/20

Next upload date: 8/9/20