Dazai's List of Don'ts

The Beauty Is Quiet Like a Stone Statue

Season 1: Episode 9 (SUBBED)

To: Osamu Dazai

From: Fynn Lind

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I don't know how long it's been, that Dazai and I have been trapped here together, but it's becoming too long. He is so annoying! And he won't tell me any of his plan either!! Right now he's singing that double-suicide song of his and I'm on the verge of crying.

"You can't do a double suicide alone..." Dazai sings as Akutagawa walks down the steps into the torture room. "But you can do it with two..." An easily annoyed Akutagawa sends Rashoumon at Dazai's neck, silencing him, but ultimately the ability disappears because of Dazai's. "Oh, you were here?" Dazai smirks.

"For once, Akutagawa, I'm so happy that you're here." I sigh in relief. "My ears were about to bleed."

"I believe you two know what manner of fate awaits those who are chained here." Akutagawa speaks.

"This brings back memories." Dazai comments. "I remember when you were a rookie."

"You have committed grave sins: both of you." Akutagawa spats. "You both suddenly abandoned your mission, vanished, only to reappear as an enemy to the Port Mafia. It's hard to believe, coming from a former executive and top assassin."

"And from your former superiors?" Dazai's words anger Akutagawa causing him to get punched across the face. Another thing to add to the list: 'don't anger Akutagawa'. Dazai lets out a little laugh from being punched. I was just lucky that I didn't get splattered by his blood spewing from his mouth. 

"Not even you are invincible." Akutagawa grunts, cracking his knuckles. "As long as I don't use my ability, I can hurt you. I can kill you any time I want."

"Wow, great speech." I say rolling my eyes and giving some snaps as to applaud him. "Very effective."

"I see." Dazai chuckles. "You've climbed up through the ranks. I'll say this to you now, but it was a challenge to train you. You were a slow learner, and you always disobeyed instructions. Not to mention that useless ability of yours..." He taunts making Akutagawa's fists tighten but he doesn't retaliate this time.

"Your fake bravado and sarcastic comments will only last for a few more days." Akutagawa tells us. "In that time, we will obliterate the Agency and seize the weretiger. Both of your executions will then follow."

"Good. Because if I have to spend one more day listening to Dazai's terrible singing I might just end myself." I state.

"Look forward to learning of your organization and your subordinates' demise with clenched fists and teeth."

"I wonder if you'll actually manage that." Dazai says with a devious look on his face. "My new subordinate is far superior to you." The smirk upon his lips only adds to the fuel of the comment. Akutagawa rears around and punches Dazai again knocking him unconscious. I laugh a little at the scenario making Akutagawa turn his attention to me.

"Anything you'd like to say Shadow?" Akutagawa grunts quickly latching onto the hair on the back of my head. 

"No..." I trail nodding my head limitedly back and forth.

"That's what I thought." He harshly let's go of my head before leaving the room.

"Nice going you bandage-squandering machine." I grumble under my breath. "Nice going."

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"It's about time." Dazai says after a yawn while looking up at his shackles. 

"It's about time for what?" I groan looking over at him. "To die? Yeah, I get it you're suicidal. Can I just get a break? Have some peace and quiet maybe?"

"Plotting as usual?" Chuuya comments from across the room as he walks down the stairs. "And poor Shadow, complaining just like the old days."

"That voice..." Dazai panics.

"This is nice. This is a great view." Chuuya comments, peering down at us. "It rivals even a masterpiece worth ten billion. Wouldn't you agree, Dazai, Fynn?"

"Gross!" Dazai says disgustedly. "Man, gross!"

"I hate when you group me in with him." I pout.

"I like your reaction, Dazai. It makes me want to strangle you." Chuuya states as he stops in front of us. "Fynn, I'm sorry you've had to deal with this mackerel for who knows how long."

"Thank you!" I say appreciatively. "It's been a rough four years. I only got a two week break from him, like, once. Once!"

"You haven't changed at all, Chuuya." Dazai tells him after glancing Chuuya over. I mean he's not wrong... poor Chuuya.

"Oh?! What's that supposed to mean?!" Chuuya exclaims.

"I've always wondered about this, but where do you buy your embarrassing hats?"

"Say what you want, vagabond! I bet you're still going on and on about suicide despite your age, aren't you?" Chuuya retorts.

"Yeah." Dazai honestly responds.

"At least pretend to deny that." Chuuya says before straightning up. "But now, you're just a sad little prisoner."

"Isn't it a little sad that you came here to torment us?" I speak up, rolling my eyes at him.

"Oh shut it, Fynn!" Chuuya snaps, turning his attention back to Dazai. "It's enough to make you cry, eh, Dazai? No... it's actually a little too convenient." Walking closer Chuuya reaches up and grasps the top of Dazai's head bringing him down to his eye level. "You may be able to decieve that apprentice, Akutagawa, but not me. After all, I'm your old partner. What's your play?"

"My play? It's just what it looks like." Dazai announces. "Get caught, and wait to be executed."

"Excuse me!" I shout, snapping my head to the side to glare at Dazai. "You brought me with you just to end up getting executed in the end?!"

"There's no way the Dazai I know would be caught through bad luck or gross neglience." Chuuya anaylzes. "If you were that foolish," Chuuya forcefully lets go of Dazai's head. "I would've killed you long ago."

"You're overthinking this." Dazai chides. "Besides, why'd you come here in the first place?"

"To harass you."

"Wow. Like it wasn't obvious." I mutter. 

"You toyed with me all you wanted back then. But..." Suddenly Chuuya swings around with a sweeping kick, destroying the chains that held us to the wall. He had essentially let us free. "There's usually payback for it ten times over later. I don't know what you two are planning, but fight me, Dazai. I'll crush you right along with your schemes."

"Chuuya..." Dazai sighs.

"Yeah?" Chuuya responds. With a snap of Dazai's fingers the cuffs around his wrist fall to the ground. Rolling my eyes, I use my ability to make a key out of the ink from my tattoos and I unlock the cuffs myself. "So you both could've escaped any time?"

"Aren't our acting skills just great?" I flirtatiously smirk at Chuuya.

"You, stop my plans?" Dazai grins, holding up a bobby pin. "You must be joking." Chuuya chuckles slightly.

"I'm liking this turn of events!" Chuuya shouts before charging forward.

"You are, but I'm not!!" I cry, panicked at him rushing towards Dazai and I.

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Today's uploaded date: 10/4/20

Next upload date: 10/18/20