Dazai's List of Don'ts

Love for the Disease Called Ideals

Season 1: Episode 7 (SUBBED & DUBBED)

To: Osamu Dazai

From: Fynn Lind

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Sasaki, Dazai, and I sat downstairs in the cafe just discussing things. I was still really suspicious of her and I think Dazai was being to be so too. But Dazai was still playing the good guy it seemed.

"Are you sure about this?" Sasaki asks from across from Dazai and I. "The Agency seemed hectic due to the bomb threat. Kunikida seemed very busy, as well."

"Kunikida is a workhorse." Dazai comments with his cup of tea half raised.

"When isn't he busy." I retort, rolling my eyes. 

"Mm-hm!" Dazai hums in agreement. "After all, he always spends two hours before going to sleep reviewing and revising his notes. I doubt I could stand doing that for two minutes." My spidey senses are tingling so I glance out of the corner of my eye where I spot Kunikida and Atsushi behind us. "Maybe he's got some soldier ants working for him is his brain—" Kunikida punches Dazai in the head making him fall over in the booth. "Oh, I didn't know you were here, Kunikida."

"How could you ditch the meeting during an emergency and go on a fancy afternoon date?" Kunikida wonders. "Fynn I would have at least expected you to be there."

"Ha! How could this be the least bit fancy, Dazai is here?!" I laugh.

"So mean, Fynn!" Dazai whines.

"And even if it were a date, I wouldn't be here." I state, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yeah, cause you're a silent stalker." Dazai taunts.

"Nuh-uh!"

"You're lying to yourself Fynn~!" Dazai sings. "Anyways... are you perhaps jealous of the fancy date?" Dazai asks Kunikida, turning around in the booth to look at the man.

"I'm not!" Kunikida shouts.

"Are too!" I gleefully shout back. "Kunikida's jealous~! Kuni—" Kunikida slaps his hand over my mouth.

"Fynn for once in my short time of knowing you, you're being annoying. I think Dazai is rubbing off on you." Kunikida huffs, pulling his hand away.

"You think that now he's rubbing off on me? I've known him for eight years!" I shriek. 

"Now, now Fynn." Dazai says trying to calm me down by patting me on the shoulder. He then turns his attention back to Kunikida. "You know Sasaki, she's a victim who was nearly killed. Ensuring her safety and tending to her psychological well-being is an important and urgent duty for the Agency, wouldn't you say?"

"Why are you, the poster child for sloth and irresponsibility, a good fit for the task?" Kunikida wonders. "Besides, given her good looks, I'd assume she has a boyfriend at least."

"Apparently, they broke up recently. That's why, Kunikida, I say you can do this!"

"Yeah, go for it Kunikida!" I cheer, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

"See even Fynn agrees!" Dazai says flinging an arm around my shoulder.

"Listen, Dazai! Fynn." Kunikida states. "I came here because you two skipped out on the morning meeting and I need to tell you guys what's going on."

"I know what's going on." Dazai sighs, letting go of me and sitting back against the booth seat again.

"We're not total idiots, Kunikida." I huff. "Dazai might act like a goofball most of the time but he's actually one of the smartest people I know, other than Ranpo."