The Boss' Daughter

Chapter Fifteen

AN

THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES DRUG USE

DECEMBER 1972

DAWN'S POV

I was sitting in my bathroom, with my snow lines in the little mirror. I took the rolled up bill and snorted a line of it. I did another. I put the rest away and walked out of the bathroom, sniffling. "You were doing it again, weren't you?" Jimmy asked me.

"Doing what?" I asked, sitting next to him.

"You know what I'm talking about." he didn't look impressed.

"Just a little bit." I looked away. 

"Dawn! I thought we talked about this. You have to stop this shit, I can't even believe you started it." 

"I'm sorry, I won't do it anymore." 

"You've said that a hundred times. I don't know what to believe anymore. I can't do it Dawn. It's the drugs, or me and your kid. I don't care if you smoke pot, but I can't handle the cocaine. So what's it going to be?" I sighed deeply.

"Always you guys." I smiled weakly. I stood up and walked to the bathroom. "Let me do one more line before I say goodbye forever." I snorted the last line on the mirror and tossed it into the garbage. I took the rest of it in the bag and flushed it down the toilet. I almost had a heart attack when it went down. That was a lot of money's worth of drugs. I sniffled and looked at Jimmy. "You need to buy me a fuck ton of pot then." I said.

"Anything for you." he smiled and left the bathroom. As soon as he left, I pulled out another little baggie I had hidden. I snorted a little bit from my pinky nail. I quickly hid the baggie and left the bathroom. Jimmy had gone out to get me some tree and I was watching cartoon with Kashmir. We were watching The Jetsons. Sooner than later, Jimmy came back with everything I needed. I put it away and went back out to watch TV. 

"Alright, bedtime kiddo." I said as the show was ending. 

"Ugh, I don't want to go to bed." Kashmir whined.

"Too bad, it's late." Jimmy added. When Jimmy brought Kashmir up the stairs, I ran to the bathroom and started rummaging through the cupboard where I hid my little bag. "Looking for this?" Jimmy asked, holding up the baggie. 

"No, I wasn't." I lied.

"Dawn, you're a terrible liar." I sighed. 

"I know. I'm sorry, it's just hard. I want it all the time." 

"Baby, I get it. Don't worry, I'll help you get through it. Do you want to go smoke a big doob and fuck like old times?" 

"Okay." I got up and ran up to our bedroom. I pulled out the stuff and started rolling a huge joint. I finished rolling it and went outside to light it. I inhaled a few times and passed it to Jimmy. I exhaled and looked at the sky. He passed the joint back to me and I inhaled again. We smoked the joint and were sitting there, in the backyard. We were laying on our backs, in the grass. I sighed and turned my attention to Jimmy. 

"What's wrong babe?" 

"I'm just thinking about life. How six years ago, I wouldn't care if I died or got hurt doing something, I still did it. Now, I'm scared to even leave my house." I moved to cuddle into his side. He wrapped his arms around me. 

"Yeah, but six years ago, we didn't have a kid, we weren't adults. Things change. We're adults now, with a child. We need to grow up too. No more cocaine, no more fucking all the time." 

"I just don't like change." I sighed again and looked at Jimmy. 

"I know baby, but sometimes change is good. We had our fun, now it's time for us to grow up. We're 25 and we need to start acting like it." 

"I know. I'm trying. You have to realize that I was raised differently than you guys. I was raised with lots of money, lots of cars, clothes. I was always around dangerous people. Guns, drugs, money and death was what I grew up with. I mean, I've been smoking pot since I was like eight years old. It's what I know."

"I understand that, but do you want Kashmir growing up like that?" 

"No."

"Exactly. We have to try and be better parents." 

"You don't think I'm a good parent?" I sat up. I was offended. I thought I was doing okay. I knew I wasn't the best mother, but I didn't think I was that bad. I didn't even wait for his answer, I got up and went inside. I went into the room and shut the door, locking it. I went into the small bathroom, in the corner of our room. I pulled out a little baggie that I had hidden. I have them hidden all over the house. I snorted a little bit from my pinky nail a couple times and put the bag back. I went and laid down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and that was it. 

The next morning I went downstairs and Jimmy was laying on the couch. I went to ask him what he was doing, but he was still sleeping. I shimmied my way into his arms and laid there, inhaling his scent. "Morning baby." he muttered. 

"Morning, I'm sorry for last night." 

"Hey, let's not talk about that." he moved and made my body come closer to his, wrapping his arms tightly around me. Next thing I knew, Kashmir was jumping on top of us. "Morning princess. What would you like for breakfast?" Jimmy asked her. 

"Ice cream!" she yelled. 

"How about we have something else healthier first and then ice cream?" I said. 

"No, I want ice cream!" Kashmir yelled again.

"Well, that's too bad." I said. 

"I'm gonna scream if I don't get ice cream." 

"You want to do that? You'll know what screaming is." I said, sitting up. Kashmir started screaming, but I screamed louder. 

"I hate you!" Kashmir said, running up to her room. That absolutely crushed me. I literally felt my heart break. I looked at Jimmy and moved so he could get up. He walked up the stairs to talk to Kashmir. I just sat there, on the couch, crying because my kid just told me she hated me.  I mean, I hate me too, but hearing it from your own kid is a completely different thing.