Can't Hold Back

Chapter Seven

The next few days passed in a blur. I went to school every day, skipped my lunch period to avoid any chance of accidentally bumping into the persons I didn't ever want to see and went back home right after the school bell rang.

Simple as that.

At home, I did my homework, had dinner with Raven and cried myself to sleep every night. Yup, I cried because I just couldn't get over him.

Pathetic, I know.

The first few days I even refused to get out of my house until Raven literally slapped and dragged me out of it, saying that I needed some kind of distraction. Strong-headed would be an understatement for Raven.

So I went out with her, not like I had any other choice. We went to a movie, amusement park and so on. But in the end, I ended up bawling my eyes out in the backseat of her car as those places reminded me of...him.

Those moments, beautiful moments that I spent with him...

The way he'd always smear the cotton candy all over his face whenever he tries to take a bite out of it...or the way he would hug me during roller coaster rides as I shriek at the top of my lungs.

The way he would always put a smile on my face...

As much I wished to move on, these places seemed to continuously haunt me. The school, that amusement park, almost everywhere. And little by little, I started to lose my old self. I had dark circles around my eyes thanks to those countless sleepless nights.

I barely smiled at anyone, even Raven. I hated the way I behaved around everyone. It's just I couldn't help it. I even skipped my Friday night chick-flick marathon with Raven.

Maybe that was the last straw...

That's because the next Monday, Raven stormed into the lunch area and threw a fist across Asher's face. He crashed onto the table on his side but regained his balance quickly. Asher had a cut across his nose, a little trail of blood flowing from it.

And there I stood at the cafeteria, with my legs rooted to the ground and unable to grasp what was happening with my life.

"YOU RUINED HER, YOU ASSHOLE!"

Raven's yell echoed through the cafeteria as she slowly disappeared through the hallways. When I met his gaze, he was already looking at me, with a blank expression on his face. He stared straight at me for a while before dashing out of the cafeteria.

Later that day, I confronted Raven regarding the stunt that she pulled earlier on Asher and she just shrugged it with a 'he deserved it 'look. On my way back home, after school ended, I saw Tris along with Asher at the parking lot. She was comforting him.

So are they together now? Like are they official?

But the thing was I didn't feel angry. I wasn't furious about them. I didn't feel anything about them. And when I saw that Band-Aid on his nose, I somehow felt...relieved or satisfied maybe?

Whoa, Hazey... when did you become a sadist?

Not in the mood, mind voice.

Maybe I had really moved on. Yeah, I thought so and it felt...good. To be me again. After eleven fucking days, I smiled. I smiled to myself. And all it took was a punch in Asher's face from Raven.

*****

"I love you... I love you so much, it hurts," he said while caressing my cheeks with his thumb, gently moving it towards my lips, brushing against them before leaning in towards me.

There was a little peck on my lips at first and slowly a series of kisses showered down my jaw to my neck.

I closed my eyes relishing in tingles that were being spread throughout my body...