Love Is Pain My Dear

I must lie to protect you pet

Pacing back and forth anxiously down a discreet alleyway Sweeney pulled his leather coat tighter around his body shivering in the cold icy air. He was meeting Arnold in this exact spot hoping to persuade Arnold in including Nellie someway. He didn't want to hurt her, didn't want to cause her pain and so Sweeney wondered if he was to tell her the truth maybe she would be of use in someway. Then again he worried about dragging her into this mess. Either way it wouldn't be good for her yet he would rather be there for her then turn his back on his wife altogether.

It had been over a week now. Already he had been distant with Nellie and Lily, he couldn't bare seeing them at the moment knowing what was coming. Most nights Sweeney would stay up drinking down the local bar. Of course Nellie was worried about him but every time she tried to comfort him he would shrug her off and go sleep upstairs in his shop away from her. He hated what this was doing to them, only she would never believe him if he randomly came out with the fact he was seeing someone else. At least by being distant it would make the lie a little more believable.

"So have you told her?" Arnolds deep voice appeared from behind him.

Turning around Sweeney crossed his arms in front of his chest to keep out the bitter chill in the air eating at his bones.

"She's a smart woman, she'll know something is up....let her in on this, she may be of help to us" he didn't want to drag Nellie into this mess but anything was better then leaving her broken hearted. The thought of leaving those he loved was far more painful to him then any form of torture he once endured in prison.

Arnold just stared at Sweeney before moving closer. His dark eyes were hard and unsympathetic "I don't like repeating myself Mr Todd...." he sneered at the barber. "I've made it clear what will happen to your precious family if you don't cooperate...if you think she won't believe you, then hurt her...I don't care how you do it, just get it done"

With that Arnold placed on his cap and headed out of the alleyway leaving Sweeney glaring at him from behind.

Growling to himself in frustration Sweeney headed the other way. He kept his head down and pushed past the people of London all the way back to the pie shop. Nellie would never believe him if he just randomly said he wasn't happy. He needed to think of something, something she would believe. He had to do this in order to keep them safe.

Heading towards the shop Sweeney opened the door and slammed it shut behind him in frustration. The noise had Nellie rushing out from the living room into her empty shop. "Where the bloody hell ave you been!" She snapped angrily flying her hands to her hips.

He hadn't come home last night making her worried sick. This last week he hadn't been himself and was extremely distant whatever was going on with him was making her madder each day. The truth was Sweeney couldn't face being near her knowing what he had to do. He had stayed up all night at the local bar drinking his sorrows away. He hated this so much yet there was nothing he could do to get out of this.

"Well!" She snapped moving towards him only turning her nose up at the stench of alcohol on him. He had been drinking! So this is what he had been doing when she had been worrying all night about him.

"I went out" he mumbled lowly removing his coat and flinging it onto one of her tables in her shop.

"Drinking!" She hissed at him moving closer and placing both her hands on his cheeks to look at his tired eyes. "Love I'm worried about ya...as somethin' happened? Please talk to me" she said softer this time her thumbs stroking his cheekbones soothingly.

The look of deep concern in her eyes and the softness of her touch was causing his heart to ache. He just wanted to hold her and tell her everything, yet he knew she would try and help him which would only make matters worse. He couldn't risk losing her altogether or for Trevor to get his hands on her....

Moving away completely Sweeney headed over to her counter and placed both palms on top of her worktop. He let out a large sigh before turning back to face his concerned wife.

"I'm in love with someone else"

There was nothing but silence that past between them. Nellie felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of her body, her heart shattering at his words. Suddenly she felt unbalanced on her own feet and lowered herself into one of her booth. Her eyes were looking past him, far off and shocked by what was happening.

"Ave ya been cheatin' on me Sweeney?" She lifted her eyes to meet his from across the room. They were glazed over with fresh tears almost to painful for him to look at. "Is this where you ave been these last few nights? With her?"

"I'm sorry" he whispered only for her to crumble and cry into her arms on the table. She was weeping like he had never seen her cry before so full of pain and suffering. He wanted to rush over to her and tell her it wasn't true only he couldn't. If he did, Arnold and his men would be after her if she knew the truth.

Heading slowly over to Nellie Sweeney saw the way her shoulders shook as she cried into her arms. If only he could tell her he was doing this because he loved her and wanted to protect her and their daughter.

Lifting her head she slowly looked up to see him towering above her. Her face was tear stained and eyes looking at him as if she had never been so betrayed. "How could ya...we have a family" she sniffled shaking her head in anger.

Standing from the booth she pushed him hard on the chest as she moved past him. "After all we've been through together I never thought you would hurt me like this....I want ya to be out of ere by this afternoon and don't think about coming back" with that she left followed by the muffle sounds of her crying and slamming her bedroom door behind her.

It had been done. He just wished that one day she would be able to forgive him for putting her through this pain when it was all a lie. Sweeney would make sure that his family would always be safe and well protected therefore if it meant he had to endure losing her for a while to keep her alive he certainly would.

Leaving the pie shop he headed upstairs to his own shop and packed a bag of all his essentials. He would need to leave now without causing her any more grief. As for Lily he couldn't bare facing her as well and telling his precious little girl he had to leave. It was better for him to now slip into the shadows and do what was needed before making things right again. He just hoped Nellie would one day believe he did this for her.

A/N: Short chapter I know! Just seemed like a good ending for this one and so I'll be writing the next part soon! Hope you like where this is going!

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