Love Is Pain My Dear

You're an idiot, but your my idiot

Walking alone through the park Nellie was hesitant about meeting Sweeney. She was hurting, his words last night had hurt her more then the light bruises imprinted around her wrists. He had been rough with her mind and body and for that she didn't know how she would feel seeing him right now. She loved him, of course she did, yet recently she had been feeling worried around him. He was unpredictable, she couldn't seem to read him anymore and for that it was breaking her heart.

They had been away from each other for months. Now that they were back it should have been easy, however things seemed harder then ever in the marriage. His anger and jealousy was back, those months away had changed him again. He wasn't the man she had married. He was murdering again and Nellie was sure he wanted to kill David also...

If anything she was worried about him. Yes she was angry, but also deeply concerned something deeper was worrying him.

Heading through the park in her white and blue day dress Nellie walked along the path in the direction of the willow tree. She frowned spotting a trail of roses in the centre of the path. Would Sweeney really do something like this for her? He wasn't the romantic sort after all. As she headed up over the hill Nellie spotted more roses scattered across the path.

Looking up she spotted the willow tree, underneath stood Sweeney waiting for her with a bunch or red roses. As she got closer she noticed a large picnic blanket and a spread of food and drink. What was he up to?

Spotting her Sweeney cleared his throat and pushed the willow branches back so she could come underneath. It was like the willow branches were a dome in which they could have so privacy.

"What's all this?" She asked placing her hands on her hips looking at the picnic laid out. Fresh bread, ham and cheese, sausage rolls an array of different fruit. He had certainly been spending some money here that was for sure, this stuff didn't come cheap.

"My apology..." he whispered nearing her which had her turning to him "sit down pet" he said softly.

There was a reluctance in her eyes, yet she took a spot on the blanket anyway. She watched as he sat beside her only frowning when he seemed awkward in doing so. Sweeney felt nervous, he didn't quite know where to begin yet he knew he owed her this.

He could tell his wife seemed ever so distant even as they were sat next to one another. He had to get his feelings off his chest, had to open up to her rather then push her away. There was slight tension in the air, of course it was to be expected however it was his job now to heal those wounds he had created last night. The silence was getting awkward now.....

"I love you Nellie" he began clearing his throat again and reaching out to take her hand. She allowed him to do so yet she studied him cautiously.

"Ya called me a whore...ya accused me of bein' unfaithful, when I never..." tears pricked her eyes as she said this. Never in her life would she had ever thought he could be so cold towards her.

Running his thumb gently over hers he continued to hold her hand, Sweeney licked his lips to speak. "I know saying sorry isn't enough, but I really am...I'm not blaming my actions solely on drink but I woke up this morning with no recollection of the night before"  Squeezing her hand he cupped her face as she looked towards him sadly. "What happened between us last night was all my fault, I'm not expecting you to forgive me but I would like you to hear what I have to say" he whispered stroking her cheek with his thumb brushing away a tear that escaped her eye.

Cupping their joint hands with his free one Sweeney bowed his head wondering how to begin. He had so much to say yet the words didn't seem to come easy.

"I know I need to change" he said lifting his head to look into her sad looking eyes. "Three months of doing the job I was doing can make any man go crazy, the way they treated me and beat me Nel.....well let's just say murdering some man was my release of all that anger and it felt good"