Love Is Pain My Dear

If only it were easy to stop loving someone

"Sweeney? Are ya awake love?" The soft whisper of Nellie's voice stirred Sweeney from his sleep. A small grumble vibrated into his pillow making her smirk towards him through the darkness of their bedroom. He never liked being woken but on this occasion she knew he wouldn't mind as much.

"Love?" She tried again only for him to grumble again and lift his head glaring at her through squinted eyes.

"What?" His hoarse voice mumbled before he finally pushed himself up beside her watching her run her hands gently over her swollen stomach.

"The baby's kicking" she said taking his hand and placing it on her bump. He smiled feeling the soft kicking through the thin material of her nightdress.

They were both grinning now at one another through the darkness "Does it hurt?" He asked keeping his hand on her stomach still smiling as he felt the soft kicking.

"No love, just tickles a bit....t'is comfortin' to know he or she is cooking away nicely"

Sweeney kept his smile on his face as he glanced towards his wife. This moment was so special he could feel his heart aching with so much love for the woman sat beside him. Never in a million years did he think he would ever marry Mrs Lovett. Yet here they were expecting their first child together.

Running his arm up over her head and round her shoulders he pulled her close and kissed her temple. "I love you" he whispered which had her lifting her head to smile towards him.

"I love ya too Sweeney, so much" with this she cupped his cheek and kissed him slowly savouring the taste of his mouth against hers as if it was the only thing in the world she needed.....

Throwing himself upright in his bed Sweeney found himself panting with sweat dripping down his face from his dream. His eyes cast around the room he was currently sleeping in hoping he hadn't woken anyone. Yes, he was still living in his nightmare. The room felt more like a cell with cold dirty walls and nothing in the way of furniture. Him and the other 3 men were all cooped up in the basement of this building while Arnold had his own room upstairs.

Running his hands over his face tiredly he sighed loudly and collapsed back against the dirty mattress he was sleeping on. Sweeney wanted out! He wanted his life back, wanted his family back. He would give his right arm just to be allowed to check up on them and see that they were ok. Not knowing how Nellie was coping was making him go mad...

Staring up at the mouldy celling Sweeney laid there twiddling his gold wedding band around his finger. He missed his wife more and more with each passing day. Knowing what he had done to her was the worst kind of torture, he couldn't even bring himself to think about how Lily was doing. If he thought too hard about them it would only break him. Being strong was the only thing getting him through this nightmare and so being strong was what he had to be.

After Arnold was finished with him he would return back home and makes things right again. He just hoped Nellie would understand why he did what he did.

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Sweeping the floors to her dusty shop Nellie had woken this morning feeling even worse then she had the night before. She had hardly slept due to sobbing into her pillow though the hours of the night. Life without Sweeney was harder then she had ever imagined. She didn't want to miss him because of what he did to her and Lily however she did, terribly in fact. Even now she couldn't understand just what had changed between them. She thought they were happy. Weren't they? Had she missed something?

Her mind seemed to cram with all these unanswered questions. She hadn't had proper closure and that was why this was all so much harder...

A knock suddenly sounded at the pie shop door which had the baker looking up in confusion. It wasn't 9:00 yet and she didn't open till then, no earlier or later. However as she placed down her broom and headed towards the door Nellie smiled widely noticing it was Johanna waving at her through the stained glass.