Parallel Delusions

Chapter 8

I was sitting on my chair in my room, drowned in my thoughts. I didn't know what I wanted. It was sometimes like that. Like you know that you need something, but you don't know what it actually is. And that was annoying, very truly  annoying.

I searched for possibilities. And what did I get as a result? Frank. I needed him at that point. It had been only one or two weeks since I had met him but I was already so attached to him. Maybe it was because when people finally find someone or something that satisfies them they can't let go, no matter how long they've had them.

But I also knew that I couldn't be with Frank at that moment. My mom wouldn't let me. Okay no, she did let me, but she had talked to me about Frank right after she got home from therapy two days ago. She talked about how I had to get over it to stop hurting myself and others. She told me how much she hated it when she saw me all happy just because of an illusion. Yeah I knew the whole speech was bullshit, but there was something in me that told me I could actually hurt others if I continued seeing him, cause I knew with Frank Iero there was no control over what I could do. No I wasn't in love with him, at least not yet, but I knew that he was like some kind of drug that I would lose my mind because of. I felt that. The vibes wouldn't leave me alone. That was why I felt a little bit stressed and guilty. I couldn't let anyone get hurt because I suddenly got attached to somebody who apparently wasn't "real".

So I began looking for other ways. And there it was, my one and only escape; drawing. At that exact moment I felt like my hands needed to hold that goddamn pencil and move all over a paper and create another different art piece. Music would've helped a lot too, but I felt that I wouldn't feel as comforted by music as I would by drawing at that moment. But still who were I to resist it? So I put my headphones on and put my music on shuffle. I began drawing but something suddenly came to my mind. If I couldn't have him physically, I could have his picture right? Also, I had almost memorized every single detail on his face. So why not? He also had an amazing bone structure which killed for drawing.

So I began sketching the sculpture of his head. I was so focused, because it was really satisfying and it was almost what I needed to calm down.

Moments passed as my drawing looked more and more realistic. With those thin perfect lips and those magnificent eyes and sharp, attractive jawline of his, I think I could create a masterpiece. Something others would call real art.

As the whole head structure was finished and everything was sketched and fit, I wanted to begin coloring when...

"Ouch fuck!" Somebody almost screamed from where the window was and if I say I was calm and relaxed and I didn't freak the fuck out I am definitely lying.

I jumped out of my chair and looked at the window with wide eyes.

And there he was; Frank, stuck in the window. Just one tiny question; what the actual fuck?!

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" I whispered loudly.

He looked at me and spoke so fast I struggled to understand what he was saying. "I will I will please come and get me out of here I'm dying!!" He breathed out.

I ran towards the window and pushed it up. He jumped in and lay on the ground breathing heavily. "Huh thanks..." he breathed out again.

I went out of the room and tiptoed in the living room to get a glass of water. I tiptoed back up and saw him sitting on my bed. I handed him the glass. He smiled at me and drank the whole thing in one fucking second.

Then he sighed out of satisfaction and handed me the now empty glass. I placed it on my desk and sat on my chair.

"You okay now?" I said quietly.