Her Only Hope

CHAPTER 1

"Everything happens for a reason."

"Use failure as a learning method."

"Don't give up."

"Everything will be okay."

"Don't lose hope."

Those are the same things people would repeat to me every day.

And none worked.

It's been a year after my parents death,

And I finally realized about the mafia.

How it works, how people think and act, and how some don't care at all.

How everything they do is for power.

To get what they want, but in the end would it be worth it? Killing all those people for some place someone can take it from you in a second.

The way they feel pleasure to make someone's life a living hell. To make them suffer and get revenge.

A few months ago I finally knew what it's like to be in charge of something important,

to love someone even if you went thru ups and downs,

to be strong even if you were weak,

to have hope even if you believed there was none.

It's been two months since his death.

Two months of numbness, no pain, no discomfort, nothing.

My anxiety attacks are getting worse by the time.

Every night I wake up out of breath, my chest on fire, my breaths come in gasps and I feel like I will black out.

For me to forget everything, I started going to street fights. It helps me forget about everything and makes me relax myself.

I just feel lifeless.

My mind couldn't take it in.

I just feel guilty.

Because of what happened and because I just woke up, ate and went to train. Like any other day.

I haven't cried.

I haven't been thinking about anything.

My mind is blank.

My body slowly climbs out of bed, aching with every movement I make. Once I am standing correctly, I place myself directly in front of the mirror, sighing at how I looked right now.

It looks like I haven't slept in ages.

The day my brother died, Elijah didn't even let me see him.

Emily was taken care of the first few days she came home. We ask our doctor to check her wounds, or if she has any sickness.

Luckily she didn't, but still has some scars just like mine.

Emily and Jason have been very close, they just acted like nothing happened. They always hang out with everyone and I am really happy that she is now safe with us.

After everything we've been through, I never let it get to me.

Well, at least I try.

Connor always said that If something happens it's for a reason.

But sometimes I think that everything that happened didn't have a reason.

I went downstairs ready for training.

Since January every day has been really cold.

And honestly I love it.

Bitterly cold and humid - such a great combination.