Her Only Hope

CHAPTER 34

My heart pumps because of the adrenaline, my knuckles are covered in blood and I could feel my hands getting tighter around his neck.

I could see Jason beating the hell out of the brown haired guy laying below him, his face was all swollen from the beating Jason did. I could see the man trying to push Jason away but Jason's knees were on top of his arms.

I remember Elijah's words before the fight.

Kill them both.

I could feel the cold metallic on my hip sending shivers on my body. The image of this man came through my head.

His body laying under me, his skin becoming pale and covered in blood, his eyes looking directly at mine, lifeless.

"What? Are you scared that I will beat the shit out of you?" He says trying to breathe. The man under me had his eye swollen which started turning purple, his mouth was covered in blood as he spat his words.

Anger immediately fills my body and my mind thinks about what Elijah said to me before fighting.

My hand went immediately to my gun and I pointed it on his forehead. The crowd became silent like last time. I could feel my hand start to shake and memories fill my head like always.

His eyes got wide and I could see fear right away. As always, with that look, he will start begging me for help, to not press the trigger and take his life away.

"Rose what the fuck are you doing?" says Jason, his breath uneven and tired. My eyes moved to the side realizing that Jason's man was unconscious, while mine, he was about to be killed.

"Rose." Jason continues, my head was pounding like hell. I could feel small drops starting to fall, people started cheering because of the adrenaline they were feeling. The rain didn't stop them from staying outside.

I only realize the rain is cold because my skin carries the heat of my blood and the adrenaline, because my inner fires burn strongly. I could feel a knot down my throat but no tears fell, even if they drop the rain would cover them and no one would notice.

I am at that point that situations that will change my life doesn't affect me anymore. I want to cry and yell but I can't. I could feel an empty space on my lungs, it wants me to let it all out.

Elijah's expressions show proudness, he gives me a small nod with a signal that I should shoot him.

I had my gun still pointed at this unknown man, Elijah's desire for me to kill him and end his life without a reason.

People kept cheering and the cold rain was falling strongly. I could see from the corner of my eye Jason telling me something but I couldn't hear his voice.

"Come on!" The man under me screams with such agony, his saliva red from the blood and his eyes showing desperation.

"Fucking whore what are you waiting fo-

My finger touches the metallic trigger and without thinking I took his life. I could feel his last breath on my hand making me shiver right away.

For a minute I thought I was gonna feel regret but right now, I don't feel anything at all. I could see his eyes looking straight at mine lifeless. His eyes changed from anger to nothing. I looked around me, people were shouting proudly and sending cheers.

A rough hand grabs my arm, yanking me with a little force to stand up. My eyes meet his.

Everything comes back to reality, my mind starts to think about what I have done, and as always I walked away. Even if people kept screaming my name and Elijah standing there, my feet started to walk towards the car to get back home.

I look back to the ring where I fought. The mans body staid still and pale, no one came to pick him up, the crowd didn't cared at all.

"Rose!" Jason screams. I can remember seeing his beautiful eyes filled with concern, the images of the blood and the water covering the floor.

I gave him a worked look and walked down the club and outside to the parking lot. I feel the water steal my body heat just a tiny bit at a time. I close my eyes looking up at the sky letting every drop touch my skin, shivering from the cold wind and from the anxiety.

I felt his body next to mine and his eyes on me. I take a deep breath smelling the wet dirt and humidity.

I felt Jason's cold hand lock with mine. Both in silence and just the heavy rain falling. We walk to his car not saying a word to each other.

The ride home was silent. I put my head on the window, my skin getting cold because of it.

I close my eyes trying to clear up my mind.

Trying to forget.

But I know that when I wake up reality will hit and everything will change.

We finally arrived and the cold water hit me again. I could feel my heart shrink in pain because of my anxiety, of the feeling of all the grief I have.

I started to breath heavily because of everything finally filling my head.

"Rose." I close my eyes tightly not knowing what to do.

"Why did you do it?" He asks calmly. But my mind couldn't think straight.

Once again my emotions turn jagged and my insides tight. "I had no choice."

We just stare at each other not knowing what to do and me feeling ashamed of what I have become.

"Rose you know this isn't right." He says.

"I know Jason, I can assure you, I know. Everyday I sleep feeling terror because of the things that I have done. The same memories over and over again making me remember the damage I have made and that I can't erase."

"You don't have to do this." He says.

"Don't you understand? I have to do this! I have to kill them." My voice comes out loud but filled with pain in every word.

Jason hugs me tightly as the cold water drips down our bodies and my body can't stop shivering.

"I don't know how much time it will take." I sighed.

"I don't know how many lives I will take and how many people I will betray."

Saying those words hurt me like hell. I just imagined Connor and my parents looking at what I have become.

The person Connor was afraid of becoming when he was much younger than me and my parents wanted to avoid that from happening.

I don't even know if I am making the right thing. I cannot undo what I have done.

When everything goes back to normal the things I have caused will never leave my head.

Even if I put an end to this,

Was it all worth it?

-

I am so sorry for taking so long from posting I just started school and it has been difficult to post.

I wanted to post two chapters at the same time but I didn't have the time.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will start posting later this week.

What do you think about the story so far?